Attronarch's Athenaeum

Campaign journals, reviews of TTRPG stuff, and musings on D&D.

Adventurers

Character Class Description
Gomm Thief level 5 Swarthy, good looking, dark-skinned thief. Sweet opium-like aroma is his fragrance of choice.
Ambros Cleric level 5 Follower of Aniu, Lord of Time.
Hedwig Hogwarts Elf level 3 An always alert owl masquerading as an elf.

Harvestime 18th, Earthday

Another week with Ah'sas the Terrible Witch.

All adventurers were put to hard work—no loiters allowed! Six were ordered to construct two new tree-houses so they have a covered place to sleep. Her little hut was too small to house them all. Hedwig, being a female elf, was delegated to bushes and hardest of duties.

Beorg and Balarus fell to the witch's charm, and were trying their best to fulfil all her wishes. Others went along, if for no other reason than for having food and safe place to rest whilst lost in the Eyestone jungle.

Gomm and Ambros had a plan of their own though. Whilst others toiled, they set out for a scouting expedition, aiming to investigate as much of sunken fort as possible. Hedwig joined them. After all, anything is better than abuse from Ah'sas the Envious!

Ambros and elf took off their heavy armours, and only carried backpacks adventuring gear. Gomm also took off his clothes, and had nothing but loincloth, backpack, and few vials of oil. Bakaru joined them to guard the dugout. And so they left for the dungeon.

The trio moved with haste, doing their best to remain as quiet as possible. They traversed the pillared antechamber, opting for north-west doors this time. That led them into a corridor with two doors and a junction. First doors were steel and without any visible hinges. Second were plain wooden doors, like those they've encountered before. Junction splintered left, and forward. Path forward was blocked by thick glass barrier within which an angry incorporeal form banged, mouthing curses in silence.

Gomm picked the steel doors open, leading into a corridor with two junctions. Then him and Ambros nailed the doors shut while beefy Hedwig held it open.

Scouting just a bit ahead, the party had found the following:

  • Stairs leading down, past their torchlight. Teeth covered some of stairs.
  • A dead end with stone wheel behind a plate. Hedwig was strong enough to turn it, but the wheel would rotate back in the starting position as soon as she let go of it.
  • A corridor with iron caltrops large enough to stop an ogre from passing further.
  • A dark chamber with fountain in the center. Small, squat, hairy, naked creature slurped liquid from it every minute or so.

Judging that all three paths into the unknown sounded very risky, they returned to the corridor with glass barrier. Listening at the wooden doors revealed nothing but silence. Except glass banging to the side, that is.

“Hey, I hear something.”

Hedwig informed her allies.

Indeed, sound of metal scrapping against the floor could be heard. Sound was getting louder by the second, approaching wooden doors they came through. Thinking on their feet, they opted to run towards the glass barrier, then turn left into the unknown.

That led them down a turning corridor and to another wooden doors. Adventurers promptly doused their light sources, and waited in silence.

Loud bashing sound could be heard, as doors swung open and slammed against the stone wall. Metal scrapping was now very loud, as was the thick smell of oil. Another sound of slamming doors, and scrapping became quieter and quieter.

Estimating that the danger is over, adventurers re-lit their torches and lanterns, and proceeded to open the newly found doors. A small chamber, some twenty by thirty feet, with nothing much but two dozen of clay pots. Each had a lid with primitive symbols. Three had abstract flames, one round triskellions, and the remainder had abstract stick-snakes on them.

Following brief investigation, they backtracked to previous wooden doors, and forced them open. A weird thirty by thirty feet chamber with two lines of shelves. A dozen figures on gnomes with various mining equipment rested on each shelf.

Ambros returned to the pot chamber, cast Find Traps and surveyed the room. All lids with snake symbols lit gently. He informed Gomm, and moved to the gnome chamber. Nothing lit up. Then he went to the glass barrier.

Angry ghost cowered in fear in the presence of Curate of Aniu! Ambros could see only portion of the chamber beyond the glass barrier. It was a hole with stone bridge standing on a pillar. The bridge was perpendicular to Ambros, or in other words, was going from left to right.

Gomm delightfully opened fire and triskellion pots, finding flammable oil in the former, and five hundred silvery coins in the latter. How delightful!

But there was little time to celebrate. Ambros's torch begun to flicker. Angry shadow in the glass barrier threw itself towards the cleric and crumpled in a terrified ball. Ambros noticed shadowy figures stepping on the bridge. He quickly retreated and doused his torch.

The party waited for a moment. Gomm took the pot with triskellion coins, and the party retreated all the way to the dugout Bakaru was waiting them in. They left the coins with him and then they returned to the antechamber, intent on exploring the eastern portion of the fortress. Ambros commanded the water elemental—the one that Sor'Ves the Magnificent vomited for him—to follow him.

Upon emerging into the long corridor leading east, they ran into two plated guards.

The guards slammed doors wide open, right in front of Hedwig. They ignored her, turned left and marched down the corridor.

“How weird, they have surely spotted us...”

“Remember how some of them just stood and did nothing?”

“Maybe they only respond to metal? We are currently unarmoured.”

“Maybe they react to something else?”

“Let's follow them!” Gomm suggested.

Trailing them at the edge of their torch, the party followed the armoured duo. They went straight and then turned right into the large chamber with dark pool. They marched straight to the edge of the pool and stood still.

Water splashed as a towering mass of black sludge rose, shaking and shivering in front of the guards. The guards turned towards each other, holding a shield between them, like a plate. Black mass loomed over it, and then a chunk of sludge dropped on the shield. The guards' lower portion turned towards the party and marched straight towards them.

Adventurers fell back. The guards walked out of the chamber and down the corridor they came through. Black mass made a loud splashing sound as it threw itself back in the pool.

Gomm, of course, wanted to explore that chamber. This abomination must be guarding some awesome treasure, right?!

Forcing the north doors open revealed a square chamber with copper disc inset into the stone floor. A three inch groove was around it, with flame symbols etched into the disc's ring. Black scorch marks on the stone floor circled the ring. Crumpled suit of armour lain discarded in the south east corner.

Next course of action for Gomm was to scale the wall and go all the way up to the ceiling. This was a vaulted chamber, and the highest point was some forty feet off the floor. Then he swung like a monkey and traversed towards the platform on the south side of the chamber.

Naturally, this provoked the mass of black sludge that rested in the pool. It emerged with rage, swinging for the top. Ambros ordered the water elemental to charge the black mass. It obeyed without delay. As sludge and elemental duked it out in the pool, Hedwig and Ambros shot at the aberration from safe distance.

Gomm dropped on the platform. The doors were stuck. With battle raging behind him, he jumped up, grabbed the head jamb, swung and kicked the doors with both legs. Ahead of him was a humbly sized chamber dominated with a stone table. On it a number of alchemical implements like alembics, vials, pestle and mortars, so on and so forth, rested. Everything was caked with mold and dust.

The thief took off his loincloth and wrapped it around his face. Then he entered the laboratory and begun methodically ransacking it. Water roared as battle went on; elemental and sludge in a vortex of body slams, beating chunks of each other out. Hediwg landed arrow after arrow. And so did Ambros land stone after stone.

By the time Gomm had finished investigating the chamber, he recovered three intact vials that still had liquid in them: one with light blue hue, one clear as alcohol, and one with reddish hue. He stepped on the platform just in the right time to witness the black sludge completely demolishing the water elemental.

The thief threw his dagger, missed, and then fled up the wall. The mass approached him ominously. At this moment the sludge was not what it was moments ago. It was nearly transparent in places, with many holes. In fact, it was more like a mess of thick black strings, than a bulbous giant it was. Nonetheless, it threw itself towards fleeing Gomm. Hedwig aimed at the thickest string, and unleashed an arrow.

Steel tip went straight through it, severing the oily string. The pool horror completely felt apart. Curdled oil slicks floated to on top of the water. Poking them elicited no response. Ambros collected a sample.

“I think this expedition was a great success and that we should leave immediately!” Gomm announced, delighted to be alive.

“Hey, I hear something.”

Hedwig informed her allies.

Familiar sound of scrapping metal could be heard from the north. Without much time to think the party moved north and then decided to continue north, towards the oil chamber and then circle back through chambers they fought plated guards in.

Alas, they ran straight into the source of all the noise. A large lizard-like creature, some eight feet weed and most likely at least fifteen feet long, made of scrap metal, rushed towards the adventurers.

They pivoted around, and sprinted as quickly as they could.

“It's made of metal! We are surely faster!”

Gomm yelled as iron lizard nearly bit his naked ass.

Adventurers made it out alive, jumped into the dugout and paddled hard back to Ah'sas. At least her teeth aren't that sharp.

Discuss at Dragonsfoot forum.

#Wilderlands #SessionReport

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“This book is such a piece of shit.”

The World's Largest Dungeon, published by Alderac Entertainment Group (AEG), is a 900 page beast from the 3e era. Its key conceits (or gimmicks to be fair) are its size and inclusion of “all” monsters from the OGL SRD (which was just published then).

Although I never heard anyone say nice things about it, I still bought it when it appeared on the Bundle of Holding. After all, one of the sixteen maps ought to have something worth repurposing!

Oh, how naive I was! First, scan is terrible. Second, skimming it filled me with dread and horror. I read several paragraphs at random and they were bad. My time is too valuable to spend it on salvaging something that doesn't at least inspire me. I will gladly suffer through some of the poorly laid out Judges Guild modules because they are full of enthusiasm and actually deliver good gameplay. But this?

It was so bad I deleted the file from my hard drive, and added it to “read later, but probably never” pile. Then a wonderful thing happened. I stumbled upon a massive, 10 000+ words, chapter-by-chapter read-through and review. It was originally posted on Something Awful forum, and was later collated in a single page for easier reading.

Without further ado, I am delighted to share The World's Largest Dungeon review by oriongates. Fantastic and humorous read. At moments I felt a bit sorry for oriongates since the material drives him mental. I also appreciated his comments since I have zero experience with D&D of that era. Either way, I hope you find it as amusing and illuminating read as I did.

#Review #AEG

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Adventurers

Character Class Description
Gomm Thief level 5 Swarthy, good looking, dark-skinned thief. Sweet opium-like aroma is his fragrance of choice.
Ambros Cleric level 5 Follower of Aniu, Lord of Time.
Ignaeus Elf level 2 A slightly weathered looking elf with dull blonde hair and chiselled features. Seeks wealth and knowledge.
Nesterin Sylpetor Elf level 2 An avid lover woods and jungles.
Mayonnaise Elf level 1 Albino elf with long white eyelashes, flowing white hair, magnificent white cape, and long two-handed sword.
Happy Halfling level 3 Short, very happy looking halfling. Hair covers his eyes and he is nothing but smiles.
Hedwig Hogwarts Elf level 3 An always alert owl masquerading as an elf.

Harvestime 12th, Waterday

“Oh, hello there!”

Mayonnaise and Happy greeted Gomm and friends in the long corridor. Apparently they went for a walk around Hara and ended up lost here, in this sunken fort, deep in Eyestone jungle. No questions asked—after all, reinforcements are always welcome.

Following the corridor, the party opted to check second doors on their left. Bursting in they surprised plated guard sitting on a crate. Using their tried and true tactic of wrestle and execute, they quickly dispatched another ooze filled suit of armour.

Wooden crates were filled with adventuring equipment—ropes, lanterns, torches, iron pitons, sacks, so on and so forth. Ambros found a locked metal plate hidden under on of the crates. Key they retrieved from one of the plated guards fit perfectly in the padlock, revealing large sack with 1 800 gold pieces and five gems.

Adventurers agreed to repackage the coins into three sacks for easier carry, and then locked them back in so they can explore the dungeon unencumbered. Gems were stowed away in pockets.

Corridor ended with a T-shaped junction. Straight ahead were doors with chilly fog rolling underneath. Flame smelling chamber was to the left, and an open, dark chamber to the right. Cold doors were left alone, and dark chamber was chosen as safest option.

Spacious, vault domed chamber spanned some fifty feet wide and sixty feet deep, with nearly forty feet tall ceiling at the highest point. Half of the chamber was a pool of dark water. On the west wall were two doors, one in the dry portion, and one above the pool. At the far south end of the chamber another door stood, and a small platform in front of them.

While Gomm scaled the west wall in order to reach the doors hanging over the pool, and Ambros and Ignaeus trying to measure the depth of water, Happy said “hold my beer” and jumped right in. At least Mayonnaise tied a rope around halfling's torso before the dive.

Splashing all around, Happy found himself in neck-deep chilly water. The ground was soft, which was unexpected since everything so far had been solid flag-stone. Undeterred, he waddled towards the south platform.

Ambros, Ignaeus, and Mayonnaise witnessed a towering black mass erupting from the water, completely engulfing Happy. Mayo pulled on the rope, and Ambros rushed to help. The mass shook and pulsated, jerking both with ease. Ambros let go off rope in time. Alas, Mayo was pulled underwater, screaming.

His last oxygen bubbles dramatically popped on the the water surface; until they were no more, and dark red liquid filled the pool.

Bakaru dropped the safety rope around Gomm and fled for his life. Nesterin chased the young thief-in-training. Ambros and Ignaeus retreated backwards to the junction, holding torch so Gomm can return.

Master Thief Gomm pushed himself from the closed doors, building up momentum to break them open with a strong kick. He tumbled into a dark chamber dominated by a bubbling stone cauldron. A pile of cleaned bones were in the south-east corner. Two immobile plated guards stood by the west wall. Black ooze caked the cauldron. Gomm got out, scaled the wall, spider-crawled along the ceiling, and rejoined the party.

“Oh, hello there!” Hedwig Hogwarts hailed the adventurers. He too went for a walk after Mayonnaise and Happy, and somehow ended up lost here.

A loud splash could be heard, followed by silence.

“Well, it seems like the creature is not following us. We don't know what triggered it...”

“Should we go back to the antechamber and explore west doors? Or see what is beyond the oily chamber?”

Latter was the consensus.

Traversing the chamber covered with broken oil vials took some time. Adventurers made sure to douse their light sources before crossing it. Nobody got hurt in the process.

Another t-shaped junction, this time splitting left and forward. Up ahead were double doors, and sunlight shone through the cracks. Pulling the doors wide open blinded everyone for few seconds.

Once they could see again a surprising sight greeted them: an open courtyard with a four story tower. Child-size wall made of rocks bisected the courtyard, and eight naked, hairy, midget humanoids cowering behind them.

Nesterin hailed them in Hobgoblin and Ogre, which made the creatures shake and shiver even more. Gomm and Bakaru begun sneaking around the courtyard, intended on jumping over the wall and striking from behind.

Hairy midgets tightened ranks in front of the only clear passage between the rocks, holding their little spears shakily. Nesterin continued going through the languages he knows, being ignored until he tried—Elven!

One of the creatures replied in broken elven, demanding adventurers to immediately leave.

“There will be no cutting throats!” somebody coughed loudly in Common, making sure the thieves hear them.

Conversation between Nesterin and Tili, the only hairy humanoid that dared to speak, was going too slow for Hedwig so he cast Charm Person on the small creature.

This resulted in total pandemonium as other seven hairy naked midgets begun screaming, crying, and running all over the courtyard.

“Would you like to meet Sor'Ves the Magnificent? She is magnificent! I would like to take you to her!” Tili offered. Sor'Ves, of course, waited in the tower.

Everyone but Gomm followed little hairy man. The thief opted to scale the tower from outside instead.

Going through the door revealed nothing but a round chamber filled with rubble and debris. Second and third floor were no better. Sun was penetrating through cracks and window sills, illuminating the insides.

Exiting through the final trapdoor was quite an experience. Ambros came out first, and what a sight greeted him! A large blue dragon, her scales shimmering in the Altanian sun, face to face with Gomm poking over the crenelations. She was sprawled over thousands of coins, belly sideways; razor-sharp fangs adorned her smile; her yellow eyes focused on the thief.

“Your Magnificence, I bring visitors whom came to pay respects!” Tili announced loudly.

“Oh, how wonderful!” Sor'Ves puffed. “So, what did you bring me?”

Gomm jumped over, and produced six arrows, supposedly of Giantslaying variety.

“Little thief, and what will happen if I cast Detect Magic? Will they glow?”

Gomm quickly found an excuse that amused the dragon sufficiently.

Then Sor'Ves called out each adventurer, one by one, asking them for a gift. Hedwig offered a gold and silver urn; Ambros a silver bracelet from one of the dead guards; Nesterin, Ignaeus, and Bakaru a gem recovered from the storage room.

Gomm tried to steal from Sor'Ves magnificent treasure hoard while others were adding to it.

“In broad daylight? My, how brave. Why don't you stand here—yes right here, in front of me—for a moment? Others should step aside.”

The thief excused himself and jumped over the edge, climbing down rapidly.

“What are you doing here? We are looking for a necklace made out of shadows? Do you know where we could find it?” other adventurers begun rapid fire questioning like they were interrogating a lusty barmaid, not a blue dragon towering over them.

“My, my, so curious! That will require appropriate tribute!”

Since the party discussed what magical items they could give that were useless to them right in front of Sor'Ves she cheerfully chirped “Yes, I'll take them all, thank you for asking. Just put them over there, yes, that's the spot!”

In return they learned about stealer of shadows that lairs just through the northern exit from the courtyard. “If you go there you will probably all die a horrible death.” She also divulged the fact that a shadow demon sits on an onyx throne. He also grants wishes, but unlike her, he has very unreasonable expectations regarding tributes.

There were also mentions of a younger green dragon, Larentis, that had recently arrived in woods just north-west of here. Somebody, best left unnamed, proposed a match-making service in return for additional help from Sor'Ves. She liked the idea but adventures got cold feet.

“Little humies, you are boring me with your constant chitter chatter. It is time to reward my patience once again. Have I not deserved it?”

Those that had no shiny treasure to offer were left with nothing but clothes. They had to empty their pockets, doff their armours, leave their weapons, and yes, all magical items.

“How nice. Now go, leave me be. I have to get my beauty sleep in case that green boy flies over again.”

As a final gift she vomited out a water elemental that will follow Ambros around and do his bidding. Tili pushed the adventurers down and out of the tower. The he hugged Hedwig and thanked the party for stopping by.

“You are always welcome here! Sor'Ves likes shiny gifts!”

The party sulked back to the chambers of plated guards and took whatever armour, arms, and gear they could. Then they left the sunken fort and rowed back to Ah'sas the Terrible.

Gomm groveled at the feet of the witch, mainly using dragon's presence as an excuse for failing to return with a shadow necklace.

“We will brew a poison! Even a single drop, down the dragon's ear whilst she sleeps, will suffice!” And then they cackled.

Will the third time be the charm for Gomm?

Discuss at Dragonsfoot forum.

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Adventurers

Character Class Description
Gomm Thief level 5 Swarthy, good looking, dark-skinned thief. Sweet opium-like aroma is his fragrance of choice.
Zhoron Trisrie Elf level 2 Always frowning and morose; sporting thick handlebar moustache down to his chest and a black top knot.
Ambros Cleric level 5 Follower of Aniu, Lord of Time.
Ignaeus Elf level 2 A slightly weathered looking elf with dull blonde hair and chiselled features. Seeks wealth and knowledge.
Nesterin Sylpetor Elf level 2 An avid lover woods and jungles.

Harvestime 12th, Waterday

“I will sneak around and climb on top of the rubble. Bakaru will come with me. Once we are above the guard you can approach him and see how he responds. In case he is hostile, we will jump him from above.”

Gomm presented a plan, and once again had everyone agree with him. Zhoron, Ambros, Ignaeus, and newly found Nesterin, all had enough of entertaining tireless witch Ah'sas, so Gomm found them a task that would give them an excuse to leave.

“Well, you could get me a necklace made of shadow. Here, I'll draw you a map to the place where you can find one.” the witch explained.

“How do I pick up a necklace made of shadow?” Gomm inquired.

“With your hands.” the witch retorted, annoyed.

Adventurers heeded her advice to make a dugout and paddle downriver, instead of marching through the thick jungle. And so they found the described sunken fort. More a collection of stone rubble destroyed by overgrowth, and consumed by soft soil.

Double iron gates were the only visible entry point. An armoured guard marched left and right in front. His moves were stiff and repetitive. Moments before the party had arrived, they spotted the doors opening, a group of figures entering, and then the doors closing. It was difficult to make out exact numbers due to limited visibility from all the trees and foliage.

The plan was executed perfectly. The guard remained unaware of the thieves' presences while others hailed it. The moment it spotted approaching Nesterin, the guard raised its greatsword and charged the elf.

Proving most unresponsive, the guard had been met with violence and dispatched in mere two rounds of melee. Zhoron delivered the killing blow with his massive Oathkeeper. As he cut through the plate mail, black ooze splattered all over other adventurers. The armour collapsed to the ground, empty.

No bones; nothing but coating of slimy, inky black ooze.

Inspecting the large iron doors hadn't revealed any traps, nor raised any other suspicions. Four adventures had to join forces in order to pull them open. Nesterin readied himself at what he had believed to be the safe distance.

Three puffer-fish-like, barely airborne, bloated bat-abominations flew out into the sun, and approached the elf. Their pathetic flight and low mobility was amusing. It didn't help that they couldn't hit Nesterin at all.

Alas, it stopped being funny after one of the adventurers cut right through one of the bloated monsters and was rewarded by flaming liquid spraying himself and others. Luckily, remaining two did not explode, having been killed with less pointy sides of the weapon.

Moving forth, the party entered a massive antechamber, sixty feet wide and seventy feet deep. Six girthy stone columns, three on each side, held the chamber in place. The middle column on the left had several holes around the circumference, all by the bottom rim.

A grotesque horned devil protruded out of the north wall, vile smelling liquid leaking from its orifices down into the fountain beneath it. Oh, how bad it smelled. Oh, how flammable it smelled too.

There were two doors leading out of this chamber, both at the north wall. One was in the northwest, and one in the northeast corner. Adventurers choose the latter.

Smashing it open revealed a long corridor to the right. Two doors were visible, both on the left wall; one thirty feet down, second another fifty feet down.

Listening at the first doors revealed sounds of clashing metal. Adventures set up the marching order and Zhoron forced the doors open, surprising two armoured figures fighting each other in the sand pit. One was armed with mace and shield, while the other had long sword and shield.

Zhoron stepped forth, knelt down, and held Oathkeeper in his hand.

“Paladins of the Sword! Protect me from evil and constructs!”

His fellows attacked two plated figures with missile weapons. Mostly missing. Plated guards stopped fighting each other and stumbled towards the doors blocked by Zhoron.

Mace wielding one missed his swing. On the other hand, the sword wielding one loped off Zhoron's head with a single swing.

Shocked, the party held the bottleneck whilst trying out everything at their disposal.

Holy water?

Didn't work.

Hold person?

Didn't work.

Wrestle the plated guards and stab them to death?

That worked!

Illustration by kickmaniac.

After having plundered Zhoron's beheaded the corpse, the party searched the room. Besides the sandpit in the middle, there were weapon racks hanging from the walls. Most of the weapons were rusted and barely usable. Gomm found a secret cache of jewellery hiding behind a loose stone at the rim of sandpit.

Next obstacle were the doors in the north-east corner. Six attempts to force them open. All failed. Then a helpful trio of plated guards opened the doors and charged into the chamber swinging their greatswords.

Three rounds of mad wrestling and the guards were no more but slimy ooze stains on adventurers' clothes.

Moving on, next chamber looked like dinning quarters. Long oak table, flanked by benches, dominated the center. The table was set for dinner, with three table cloths on which two plates rested. Although nice, they were made from baked clay, making them worthless. Utensils were rusted steel, hence equally worthless. Ambros and Gomm inspected the tables. When Gomm flipped one of the tables, the whole room flashed with blind light, making everyone blind for half an hour.

Once everyone could see again, the party resumed exploration. Opening east doors led them down a short corridor, which opened up in an open chamber reeking of military oil. Adventurers closed the doors and opted to go through north-west doors instead. This time they forced them open on a first try, surprising two plated guards in their cots.

Bakaru killed one in his sleep, while Gomm wrestled the other one, allowing others to execute it. After ransacking the room they found a tarnished metal key in one of the rotten pillows.

Opening the south-west doors revealed a smaller chamber full of discarded armour pieces—hauberks, pauldrons, gauntlets, chain shirts... Scrap armour piled as high as human's thigh!

Spending half an hour to rummage through crap, Bakaru found a pristine left-hand mailed fist. Unwilling to try it on, despite Gomm's repeated assurance, young thief passed it to one of the elves.

“The runes on it say “Iron Claw” in hobgoblin.”

So far they have found only oozes. No sign of shadow necklace yet. Will Gomm be able to deliver? Or will he stumble once more?

Discuss at Dragonsfoot forum.

#Wilderlands #SessionReport

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I'm selling part of my Necrotic Gnome collection. All books are mint, unused, and some of them are still shrink-wrapped. Shipping from EU; bank transfer preferred within EU, otherwise PayPal is fine.

I'm selling four different lots:

  • LOT A: Old-School Essentials Box with Classic and Advanced Fantasy (Kickstarter edition), 160 EUR
  • LOT B: Carcass Crawler zines (Kickstarter editions), 60 EUR
  • LOT C: Necrotic Gnome adventures (Kickstarter editions), 80 EUR
  • LOT D: Old-School Essentials Classic Game Set and Advanced Expansion Set (Kickstarter editions), 140 EUR

Lists and photos below.

LOT A: Old-School Essentials Box with Classic and Advanced Fantasy (Kickstarter edition)

160 EUR

NG-0008SE1 Old-Shool Essentials box NG-0002 Classic Fantasy: Core Rules NG-0003 Classic Fantasy: Genre Rules NG-0004 Classic Fantasy: Cleric and Magic-User Spells NG-0005 Classic Fantasy: Monsters NG-0006 Classic Fantasy: Treasures NG-0009 Advanced Fantasy: Genre Rules NG-0010 Advanced Fantasy: Druid and Illusionist Spells (with “Advanced Fantasy: Genre Rules” misprint on the spine) NG-0015 Advanced Fantasy: Monsters NG-0016 Advanced Fantasy: Treasures

LOT B: Carcass Crawler zines (Kickstarter editions)

60 EUR

Carcass Crawler Issue Zero (Kickstarter exclusive) Carcass Crawler Issue 1 Carcass Crawler Issue 2 Carcass Crawler Issue 3

LOT C: Necrotic Gnome adventures (Kickstarter editions)

80 EUR

NG-0011 The Hole in the Oak NG-0001BX Winter's Daughter (uncensored version) NG-0020 The Incandescent Grottoes NG-0021 Halls of the Blood King NG-0022 The Isle of the Plangent Mage NG-0023 Holy Mountain Shaker

LOT D: Old-School Essentials Classic Game Set and Advanced Expansion Set (Kickstarter editions)

140 EUR

#Sale #NecroticGnome #NG #OSR #OSE

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https://www.fightonzine.com/

Friends, I'm happy to share new official Fight On! website:

https://www.fightonzine.com/

I've been working closely with Iggy, Calithena, and sleazy_b (who actually did all the hard work of coding and interpreting our wishes) since August.

We wanted to create a simple, fast, and straightforward website that would allow anyone to find issues old and new, special volumes, and keep up with Fight On! related news.

Let us know how we did!

#News #FightOn #OSR

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Mythmere Games recently published Book of Options for Swords & Wizardry. The book, as you might have guessed from its name, includes a number of optional rules for extending your Swords & Wizardry game. Among other things it includes 12 new classes (barbarian, bard, chivalric knight, demon hunter, dwarven priest, elf blade, illusionist, necromancer, troubadour, warlock, wrath-chanter, and feycaster) and two new ancestries (gnomes and stygians).

With new Character Creation Challenge looming from around the corner (it's 2025 already?! where did 2024 go?!), one of the ideas I had is to create first level player characters for each class and ancestry combination, like I did earlier this year.

First step towards that is to map all the class and ancestry combinations in Book of Options:

Class / Ancestry Human Dwarf Elf Half-elf Halfling Gnome Stygian
Barbarian
Bard * *
Chivalric Knight
Demon Hunter
Dwarven Priest
Elf Blade
Illusionist
Necromancer
Troubadour
Warlock
Wrath-Chanter
Fighter
Thief
Fighter/Thief
Fighter/Illusionist
Illusionist/Thief
Feycaster
Assassin
Cleric
Magic-User

Asterisk on Gnome and Stygian Bard: under class description bard is described as allowed to any ancestry, but neither of the new ancestries lists Bard as allowed class. Matt Finch confirmed to me that allowing bard class to either of those new ancestries should be considered as optional rule. Gnome would have the same level limitation as dwarf, elf, and halfling, while stygian would have no level limitation, like human and half-elf.

First thing I notice is that there is a whopping 42 combinations (44 if we include optional bard extension)! That is more than twice as much from Swords & Wizardry Complete Revised, which has 19 combinations (20 if we include optional fighter-cleric dwarf):

Class / Ancestry Human Dwarf Elf Half-elf Halfling
Assassin
Cleric
Druid
Fighter
Magic-User
Monk
Paladin
Ranger
Thief
Fighter-Cleric *
Fighter-Thief
Fighter-Magic-User
Fighter-Magic-User-Thief
Fighter-Magic-User-Cleric

Given that it took me several months to create 400 player characters (and their equipment packs), I think I'll have to chunk characters for Book of Options. I'll start with humans and work my way from there.

Since I already made all the tables, why not bring them together?

Below is a combined table of all class and ancestry combinations from Swords & Wizardry Complete Revised and Swords & Wizardry Book of Options:

Class / Ancestry Human Dwarf Elf Half-elf Halfling Gnome Stygian
Assassin
Barbarian
Bard * *
Chivalric Knight
Cleric
Demon Hunter
Druid
Dwarven Priest
Elf Blade
Feycaster
Fighter
Illusionist
Magic-User
Monk
Necromancer
Paladin
Ranger
Thief
Troubadour
Warlock
Wrath-Chanter
Fighter-Cleric *
Fighter-Illusionist
Fighter-Magic-User
Fighter-Magic-User-Cleric
Fighter-Magic-User-Thief
Fighter-Thief
Illusionist-Thief

As you can see, that is a massive 64—sixty-four—legal class and ancestry combinations. Throw that on a new player and see that cope with analysis paralysis. That's why it is so important that the Judge selects options most relevant to their game. But that is topic for another post.

#Resource #SW #OSR

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A zine chronicling the Conquering the Barbarian Altanis D&D campaign.

This issue details sessions 64, 65, and 66.

Adventurers attempt to consecrate a desecrated temple.

You can download the issue here.

Overlord's Annals zine is available in print as part of the legendary Alarums & Excursions APA, issue 589:

#Zine

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Adventurers

Character Class Description
Ajar of the Plan Dwarf level 2 Unbelievably strong and dexterous dwarf.
Balarus Fighter level 1 An ex-woodsman, quite a crackshot with his bow.
Gomm Thief level 5 Swarthy, good looking, dark-skinned thief. Sweet opium-like aroma is his fragrance of choice.
Zhoron Trisrie Elf level 2 Always frowning and morose; sporting thick handlebar moustache down to his chest and a black top knot.
Tarkus the Promising Cleric level 4 Follower of Bachontoi, God of Red Wisdom.
Beorg the Gravedigger Fighter level 3 Inspired to adventure after burying several adventurers.
Ambros Cleric level 5 Follower of Aniu, Lord of Time.
Ignaeus Elf level 2 A slightly weathered looking elf with dull blonde hair and chiselled features. Seeks wealth and knowledge.

Thistleburn 15th–19th

A week of feasting, partying, and negotiating in Ketche!

Upon the return of our merry band of adventurers, Beklomda Mor, Altanian chieftain ruling the village, threw a feast in their honour. It was a humble gesture of gratitude for slaying the troll that had slain some of Ketche's inhabitants.

The feast was fish-heavy, with local fruits and vegetables from the Eyestone jungle. Games of strength and dexterity were held: pulling rope individually and in teams, fishing with throwing daggers, naked wrestling in knee-deep water, and jumping over boats.

“As long as you stay here” Beklomda roared in front of her warriors “you shall have food to eat and soil to sleep on!” Lithe, muscular, and ferocious, Beklomda had all the characteristics of typical Altanian women. Her long black hair was tied into a single braid with dagger at the end. Few could stand a sustained gaze into her brown-green eyes. After all, she earned her post by slaying all other pretenders.

Ketche Livery and Transport, a run down house with attached barn that has been abandoned, was another gift. It is no fancy townhouse like the one they own in Hara, but it has a roof and straw.

Following the feast each adventurer found something to do... With vary levels of success.

Beorg the Gravedigger volunteered to tend to the village plot, chatting with the local gravedigger, giving him professional tips while inquiring about any rumors of interest. That's how he learned about old graveyard sitting atop small hill three hundred yards into the jungle. It was in fact several centuries old, hailing to the days of Great Empire of Kelnore. Altanians don't bury their dead—they let them feed the soil, or they burn them, or they eat them.

Tarkus the Promising attempted to preach about wisdom of Bachontoi the God of Red Wisdom. He was met with ridicule. “Are we not red enough? Perhaps you should worship us!”

Ignaeus spent time with Aaron, a half-elf fletcher. He ended up buying a quiver of arrows, after inspecting each personally.

Balarus loitered by the mill and Church of the Ever-Shining Sun, hoping to run into the local druid whom visits Ketche from time to time. He ran into Ernsorn Blue on the fourth day. Supposed druid was a youthful man with little possessions but loincloth, a haversack, and an iron necklace with inset egg-sized dark green gem. Failing to make a good first impression, Balarus was rewarded with ominous advice “Jungle knows how to take care of your ilk.”

Ajar offered a helping hand to Jeffar, the priestess tending to the Temple of the Ever-Shining Sun. She welcomed his help as long as he didn't bore her with his adventuring stories. Although she gave Ajar the cold shoulder treatment most of the time, she did mention that “old mausoleum” at graveyard ought to be checked as well.

Zhoron made use of the temple as well. First he asked Jeffar to bless him. After she said no he decide to stay in the temple anyway. He prostrated himself in prayer for eight hours straight and then attempted to communicate with the spirits within Oathkeeper, a massive slab of sharpened steel no one dared to wield ever since young Harker died.

Elf took up a lotus position, sweat pouring from his topknot after many hours of bowing, entering a state of deep focus. In the candle light he drew the blade named Oathkeeper, his eyes swimming along its steel in fascination. He stilled his mind and asked the spirits within a single question.

“Whom must I slay?”

Sun poured through all stone orifices, blinding Zhoron. Surrounded by total whiteout he sat alone. Before him silhouettes of three warriors clad in full suite armour stand. They threw no shadows.

A cacophony of voices boomed:

“We see you!”

The middle figure transformed, a giant warhorse appearing beneath it. It charged Zhoron, roaring “Know Evil when you see it!”

It did not trample him; in fact it felt as if it entered his body.

The left figure flied up in the air and transformed into a ferocious dragon of pure light. It dove into elf, whilst a deep voice echoed “Protect others from Evil!”

The right figure stood in silence as huge bird threw shadow over everything. The paladin turned to Zhoron and whispered “Consume no Evil.”

As darkness engulfed him, Zhoron found himself sitting in the temple as he was. The sword emitted a low hum as he grasped it. Further, it felt almost weightless, surprising for such a large two handed sword.

Zhoron cleaned the sword in silence. Then he said, loudly “I shall known Evil when I see it. I shall ensure Evil harms no-one so long as I can aid them. I shall never commit or consume Evil.”

He sheaths Oathkeeper. Then he approached Jeffar and told her of his vision and asked to be baptised and renamed as a warrior of Law.

Jeffar promptly kicked him out of her temple.

“Booo!” Zhoron muttered to himself, too full of religious zeal to feel bad about it. “Too bad I am an elf, I should have been a paladin!” he thought to himself.

Ambros spent time contemplating his remaining geas. He was to help Jeffar, and Jeffar asked him to kill Greylock, a vicious gnoll terrorising inhabitants of the Eyestone jungle. But he knew not where the beast laired, nor how to secure resources needed to find it in a jungle he knew nothing about. Hence he approached Beklomda Mor, asking for help.

Ketche's chieftain felt generous and offered Nem, her best tracker. In return, once he helped Ambros find what he was looking for, the cleric would remain in Ketche for three months, providing divine services. And if Nem dies, then Ambros would take his place in Ketche.

“Clearly, Ambros is no longer wanted by the gods in this path!” he lamented in exasperation.

Failing to negotiate a better deal, Ambros politely refused the deal and continued contemplating further action.

But Ambros was not the only one contemplating and scheming. No, no. There was Gomm, too, weaving his own web of ambitions. Following the feast, he requested audience with Beklomda Mor, which he was immediately granted.

“My lady, I bring a gift. Finest tigers eye from the belly of the highest Atlanian mountain. Seven men died to procure it from an idol of a jade dragon that breathed lava. Or so I'm told. It was their finest treasure. And I took it from them. And now, it makes its way into its new home.” Gomm said with a pleasant, silky voice, as he swept his cloak, fell down on one knee, and produced the gem.

Then he continued, charming as ever “You see I am a cunning thief and expert burgler. My name be spake as far afield as Antil. Now I wish you to name a thing to be stolen. Something you desire. And I shall name my price.”

“You talk fast and your words are as sweet as honey, Gomm! Do you dare steal the cloak of terrible witch Ah'sas?!” Beklomda replied. As she asked, the warriors around her giggled. They stopped after she booted one straight in the head.

“The cloak is as good as yours. It shall adorn your shoulders in no time at all. Now, let us discuss my my fee, should I succeed.” Gomm took a long draw on his pipe and blown out a cloud of fragrant smoke. He smiled with finality. “After you claim the prize, I shall claim my own. You shall become my bride, and all those who follow you shall thenceforth, also follow me.”

Audible gasps could be heard.

Beklomda smirked.

Her elongated muscles flexed as she lunged off the ground towards the thief.

She moved on all four, like a panther.

In a blink of an eye she cut through the cloud of smoke and was now face to face with Gomm.

She gazed into his eyes without blinking.

Gomm felt like he was at the open sea, floating.

“You amuse me burglar. You will bring me Ah'sas cloak and wand. Then we will throw you a feast and give you to the prettiest girl in our little village.”

As she broke eye contact, Gomm felt like he was pulled into the water, drowning.

That sensation continued until one of his fellow adventurers shook him to answer.

But Gomm couldn't think clearly anymore.

He will do what Beklomda wants.

That's all he can think about.

He will do it.

Thistleburn 20th, Spiritday

“I am delighted that you've changed your mind, Ambros! Nem shall be at your service—just say when you are ready to leave!”

Ambros conceded to Beklomda. He decided to put the greater good ahead of himself. After all, once his geas is done what is to keep him in Ketche? Some band of barbaric Altanians? Now that is a preposterous thought.

In a sudden turn of events, Gomm persuaded everyone to focus on Ah'sas the Witch, instead. Surely she would know where this gnoll was!

It didn't take adventurers long to learn that Anit, another witch who was actually the sister of the first witch, lives just a mile north.

Four or so hours later the party had found a small cottage surrounded by exotic herbs and plants. It was a simple lean-to, almost indistinguishable from surrounding foliage. Tarkus, Ambros, and Ignaeus were the chosen three to approach the woman working in the garden. Other brave souls hid between the trees and prepared their bows.

After a surprisingly pleasant exchange, the trio had learned that it has been a while since Anit had seen Ah'sas. The latter had left Ketche several years ago and hasn't been seen since.

“My sister got a bit odd and started keeping some questionable company. But she is not a bad person! She is just a bit lonely... Could you please take this to her?”

Unable to resist Tarkus's charm, Anit divulged that they had a favourite spot in the jungle—a secluded area where the river emerges from and flows through the jungle. She also asked the cleric to take a basket of herbs and colourful potions to her sister.

“And do no harm to her! Promise!”

“We won't do anyone harm who doesn't do harm to us.”

“Well, she might harm you because look at you! She might confuse you for danger!”

“Wise people know that we won't hurt them. And your sister sounds wise!” Tarkus pounded. Equipped with this new information, the party headed north, deeper into the jungle.

Harvestime 6th, Airday

“Look! Up, between the trees!”

Gomm's voice could be barely heard from starvation sounds coming from adventurers' bellies. It's been six days of trudging through green hell. Having brought enough rations to eat for one day, the adventurers thought they could forage with great ease.

On the first day Beorg was surprised by spitting cobra. He had snake for dinner while others split rations. On the second day they failed to find any food whatsoever. Many went hungry. On the third day they failed at foraging once again. On the fourth day two stumbled upon three great bushes of nuts, sufficient to feed everyone. They found the river on the same day. On fifth day only one adventurer found food, but at least it was enough to feed half of the party. By now everybody wast starving, but no one was dying. Yet.

Following the great jungle river upstream led them to a copse of absolutely massive trees. This hardwood jungle was dense in general, but what stood before them was almost a wall of trees.

River burst out from the bottom of the largest tree. Some forty feet in the air, a platform with nice wooden cottage, was suspended between three trees. Smoke was coming out of chimney.

“Listen, here is the plan. We wait for the night to fall. You will cast Silence on me, and you will cast Bless on me. Then I will cover my lantern, climb the tree, sneak into the cottage, steal the cloak and wand, and we are out of here!”

Everybody marvelled at Gomm's plan. No one objected.

Come night, and Gomm put his plan in motion. First he snuck up to the tree east from the hut. Then he slowly scaled them, lantern hanging from his belt. He made sure to climb on the side opposite the hut, and always tried to remain within shadows of surrounding trees. That was not so difficult given it was night and jungle had thick canopy, letting little moonlight inside.

Once he was above the hut, he took a good look. The suspended platform was quite large, measuring some seventy by fifty feet. Cottage itself took a little but under half of that surface. East wall was baked clay, warm to the touch. Chimney was on that side, and smoke was still slowly rolling out of it. Rest of the hut were wooden planks; thick and warm to the touch.

Landing like a cat on the east side of the platform, our thief snuck up to the clay wall. Then he prowled north, took out his little mirror and checked around the corner. Tall opening at the end of sight suggested doors. Moving south and repeating suggested south wall had two windows.

At this moment Gomm caught sound—loud, deep snoring sound. Wondering how clerical silence exactly works, he snuck up to the first window. By now he had completely covered his lantern so he worked purely with minimal moonlight and his tactile senses.

The window opening was covered with hanging blankets on the inside. The sill was full of flowerpots, making it impossible to climb on without first clearing them or making noise. Gomm careful pulled the curtain to the side, revealing a back of hulking figure going up and down.

Next, Gomm grabbed the upper frame of the window, pulled himself up, then extended both legs sideways, jamming himself in place. Then he freed his hands, and pulled the curtain wide open. Sweat running down his face, he observed the insides.

Dying embers in the fireplace illuminated bear-skin carpet, a cauldron, part of straw mattress and hulk sleeping on it, and a proper, framed bed with decorated blankets on the north side. The bed was empty.

Gomm jumped over the sleeping beauty, and landed softly. Keen as always, he sensed immediate danger.

Glancing to his left, a monstrous ogre charged him, hands spread wide open. Master thief pulled a small pouch from his belt, jumped towards the charging beastman, and waved his left hand, opening the palm just before the monster's face.

Ogre took a deep inhale of powder that Gomm sprayed him with. He began heaving, then he grabbed his neck, panicking. Then he fell to his knees, and then to his face; dead; chocked.

Alas, Gomm did not have time to celebrate, nor to complete his mission. As ogre died before him, so did Gomm feel all his muscles tense unnaturally. Next thing he knew, he couldn't move at all. He could still feel everything, but he couldn't move a muscle if his life depended on it!

He watched as hooded figure ran up to dead ogre, threw itself on it, and wept. Then it jumped up, hood falling off her head, revealing gorgeous facial features. Long locks of auburn hair framed her perfect face; her emerald green eyes captivating as most precious jewels; her locked jaw signalling utter contempt and rage.

The woman walked up to Gomm and slapped him. Three times. Then she woke up to the sleeping beauty, slapped her awake, and commanded her to squeeze Gomm. Thief could not scream, for he could not move. But he could suffer in silence, and so he did.

Realising what is at play, woman sat at her bed and waited.

By the time Silence and magical paralysis had worn off, Gomm had been properly hog-tied. He couldn't move his arms, not even an inch! Standing upright, he faced the woman's gaze. As soon as he felt he can move his lips and tongue, he spoke in monotonous voice:

“I must steal cloak and wand from Ah'sas the Terrible Witch. I must do that for Beklomda Mor.”

The woman gasped, and covered her mouth with both hands. She stood up, revealing she had nothing but hooded blue cloak on her, poorly concealing her luscious figure. Then she walked up to Gomm and caressed his face, speaking softly:

“Oh, you poor soul. Another victim of that greedy bitch! Men, it is always men! You were not charmed, nor were you cursed. It is all in your head. Altanian women easily get into mens' head. Snap out of it!”

Her soft voice slowly progressed towards more aggressive tone, culminating with a slap. Gomm, unchanged, repeated his lines.

“I see that you are a foreigner. Did you not know Altanian women have psionic gifts? Oh, you poor soul. And now my Gronk is dead. But do not worry, Ah'sas the Magnanimous will heal you. With a little bit of Cronk's help, of course.”

She motioned to Cronk to grab Gomm's head. Then the monster squeezed the thief's jaw wide open as Ah'sas poured vile tasting liquid down his throat. Gomm almost vomited, but his mouth were welded shut by ogre's strong grip.

“Thinking clearly now? Thinking with the right head?”

“I must steal cloak and wand from Ah'sas the Terrible Witch. I must do that for Beklomda Mor.”

“Give him another hug.”

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!”

This time Gomm's suffering was audible. All his friends could hear it.

Thinking quickly on his feet, Gomm continued pretending and speaking in monotonous voice. He explained that he was here with a band of adventurers, but they didn't know what he is up to. He lied to them so he could find Ah'sas and steal her cloak and wand.

“Friends! Invite them over!”

Cronk took Gomm out, and hanged him over the platform. Ah'sas pulled the curtains and looked through the window. Gomm politely invited his friends up—there are a set of wide ladders just on the north side—stating he is being nicely cared after this nice witch.

Hungry and slightly bemused, adventurers came up to the hut, one by one. Ah'sas was completely delighted. She ordered Cronk to hang Gomm upside-down from the platform while she put fire to the stew. Then Cronk the Oger set up a nice round table outside, with candelabra. He put on a tattered silk apron and acted as a clumsy server until Ah'sas ordered him to do something else.

Adventurers gorged themselves on fresh fruits and vegetables, nuts, and warm stew. Everyone but Gomm, of course. He could hear the conversation above. Ah'sas was absolutely enthralled to have such fine visitors. Strong! Wise! Educated! After all, it is so difficult to find such good company in a jungle infested by Altanian barbarian, cannibal elves, and dim-witted monsters like ogres and trolls.

“Oh, Tarkus” the witch moaned “it's been so long since I had a conversation with someone so wise. Tell me more!” Indeed, Ah'sas took a special liking to the cleric of Red Wisdom. He tried to keep the conversation professional, but romantic candle-lit atmosphere did not work in his favour.

Feast and pleasant conversation flowed well until sunrise. In those hours the adventurers had learned that Ah'sas knows a lot about the jungle and surrounding region, is very pleasant and lonely, and that she is probably very, very powerful. After all, she lives alone at the heart of Eyestone jungle.

The question is, will they be willing to pay the price of knowledge?

Discuss at Dragonsfoot forum.

#Wilderlands #SessionReport

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