Adventurers
| Character |
Class |
Description |
| Bob the Dwarf |
Dwarf level 3 |
Midget with big beard in search of an adventure. |
| Hoffman |
Fighter level 1 |
Bold, aggressive, and ugly. But good at heart. |
| Leticia |
Cleric level 1 |
Extremely righteous, borderline zealot, devout follower of Rasthri, Goddess of Strength in Revenge. |
| Lugh |
Elf level 1 |
An elf from faraway secluded area, suspicious of people. |
| Cesar |
Halfling level 1 |
Brawly trouble magnet, but has good head on his shoulders. |
Longrass 11th, Airday
Bob has had it with Hagar the Haughty! Once again Hagar left without Bob, taking other adventurers on an expedition that will make them all rich. But not Bob!
Was it because Bob was defaced by a carnivorous giant fly? Or because he was scalped by an Altanian? No! It was because Bob now wields the mighty Wolfhammer, and Hagar surely envies him!
But Bob decided not to sit idly on his ass. No! He allowed his entrepreneurial spirit to blossom, and he recruited four promising adventurers: Hoffman the Fighter, Leticia the Cleric, Lugh the Elf, and Cesar the Halfling.
Then he found a local merchant who needs help: giant lizards laired close to where rivers Farhills and Cedarwade meet. Twenty-five gold coins per tail were sufficient to buy this newly formed party.
Bob then led the party to the described cave. They lit up a torch and descended into a dark hole overlooking the river bank.
Narrow and slippery limestone slopped downwards. It was broad enough to allow the party to proceed in single-file formation.
“Psst. Stop.”
Bob and Lugh halted the party.
Snoring in the darkness.
The party moved on slowly.
A slumped pig-faced humanoid was snoring.
A hand axe by its hip.
Snot-bubbles coming out of its snout.
Someone fired at the monster.
And missed.
The orc looked up, confused.
Hoffman gingerly smashed its head against the cave wall.
The beast slumped into eternal slumber.
The cave they descended to was quite large, spanning some forty feet wide and sixty feet long, if not longer. But the adventurers were preoccupied with the cave passaged that was lit. Low grunts could be heard coming from that direction.
Sneaking closer, Bob took a peek.
Four pig-faced beastmen sitting around a campfire.
They were blissfully unaware of the horror that is about to jump them.
The party released a volley at unsuspecting foes.
Cesar and Lugh had slain one; the rest fled east; splashing and tripping in the shallow stream.
One gasped as arrow penetrated its lung from behind.
“Onwards!”
Bob charged after the fleeing monsters.
His new recruits followed diligently.
Except Cesar. The halfling crossed the stream. Just to see what's on the other side, you know. There he found two wooden chests. Of course he took a look. The chests were filled with gold and silver coins.
Rest of the adventurers followed the stream. Bob halted the party at the narrowest point.
“We will wait for them here.”
Grunts could be heard in distance. Lugh could understand some of this primitive language. There were cries and complaints. Then somebody said “Go get the Bonecrusher!”
The party readied themselves. Weapons braced. Position reinforced.
Silence.
Silence.
Thunderous cheers.
Sounds of many feet running through the stream.
“Waaagh!”
Eight pig-faced beastmen came charging out of darkness. One towered over them, dressed in clinky chainshirt and wielding a longspear with wicked barbed top.
The ranks clashed against each other.
Bob swung his Wolfhammer, but missed the Bonecrusher.
The orc sidestepped the attack, swung his spear at the dwarf's belly, breaking his ribs. Then he quickly stepped back, rotated the spear, and drove it through Bob's back. Blood and gore splattered all over the adventurers as Bonecrusher yanked the barbed spear out of Bob's lifeless body.
The adventurers tightened their ranks; as did their anuses.
Orcs roared and pushed through the Bonecrusher.
They were eager for blood.
Hoffman stepped forth.
Oh how glorious he was in his plate armour, shield, and superior dexterity.
He deflected blow after blow.
He left no error go unpunished.
Leticia was to his left; Cesar to his right.
“Waa–”
He smashed the face of roaring orc with his shield, then finished him off with a mighty blow.
Halfling was badly wounded. If it weren't for Lugh's quick reaction, Cesar would've been gone for sure. The elf dragged him out of melee, and then he stepped forth. Despite his pathetic strength and thin leather armour.
Hoffman killed another beastmen with a single blow, dropping its lifeless corpse in front of Lugh.
Shallow stream was getting clogged by orc corpses.
Leticia screamed as she crushed her first orc.
Hoffman followed with yet another powerful attack.
Then he jumped on the pile of corpses and bellowed a war cry.
Orcs hacked him to death, and added his corpse to the pile.
Stream was now more blood than water.
Blood stained cave walls all the way up to the ceiling.
Lugh was quickly brought down.
Cesar repaid his life debt by dragging the elf out of melee.
Both were messed up, barely remaining conscious.
Leticia was the last one standing.
Until she wasn't.
She held her ground for good time.
But her blows weren't connecting.
Her shield and plate armour were dented by orcs' relentless attacks.
She slumped on her knees, bruised and battered.
Bonecrusher grunted in ecstasy as he dragged the spear along the cave wall.
Leticia gritted her teeth.
This is a good death.
Law fighting Chaos.
Nothing to be ashamed of.
Lugh and Cesar had to cover their eyes from a sudden sunburst from within the cave.
Once they were able to see again they were amazed by the sight.
Leticia standing strong; her armour perfectly mint; her hammer and shield with yellowish glow.
Cleric screamed as she leaped of the corpses.
She smashed Bonecrusher's head with a single mighty blow.
Elf and halfling threw themselves at the last surviving beastmen. Together they were able to wrestle one and hack him to death.
Rejuvenated by divine intervention, Leticia fought like a Valkyrie of legends. She crushed legs of one orc, throwing him to the ground. There halfling jumped on his and stabbed him to death.
Lugh killed the final beastman.
Leticia moved the corpses aside. Then she took Bob's Wolfhammer.
The survivors then filled five backpacks worth of coins.
Five hundred gold coins and one thousand and five hundred silver coins, to be exact.
Beats whatever that guy would pay for lizards' tails.
They left the corpses to the stream.
The trio left the cave and returned to Hara.
Thus they were welcomed to the Barbarian Altanis.
Discuss at Dragonsfoot forum.
#Wilderlands #SessionReport
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