Attronarch's Athenaeum

These are my reading notes of various Dragon Magazine articles. Learn more about the collection here.

This time the topic is Magic.

“Oops! Sorry!” Spell interruptions can spell disaster

Author: Donald Hoverson Issue: Dragon Magazine #163 Rating: ★★☆☆☆

Donald offers a simple procedure for adding a little bit “oh no!” to spell interruptions. Whenever a spell caster gets interrupted they roll a d20 to determine what happened. There is 80% chance of nothing but spell loss, 10% chance of ill effect, 5% of neutral effect, and 5% for helpful effect.

In those 20% cases of something happening, there is 75% effect will be minor, 15% it will be medium, and 5% it will be major. Minor effects are approximately at the level of 1st and 2nd spells, medium at 3rd to 6th level spells, and major mirror spells of 7th to 9th level.

The progression is basically annoyance » oh, no! » oh shit!

There is another table to determine what the effect actually is. It has 20 generic entries that the Judge must adjudicate based on the situation. For example “spell affect caster” or “spell effect oscillates in duration or effect (over a period of 1–100 rounds for one day).”

Here is my problem with this article: I'm not sure that the proposed procedure has been sufficiently play-tested. I mean, there is 10% chance that interrupting the big bad casting a spell results in them casting a better spell! That's a lot.

My final verdict will be as follows. It's a short article (just page and a third) worth skimming. I won't include it in the final collection.

Spells between the covers: Details for delving into magical research

Author: Bruce Heard Issue: Dragon Magazine #82 Rating: ★★★★☆

Bruce explains and expand on AD&D 1e procedures for magical research. The article is verbose and sometimes a bit dense, but worth working through. It has many examples to help with understanding the procedures.

Allow me a brief aside. Sometimes OSR judges talk about their dislike of XP for gold, and how the players get loaded with wealth they have nothing to spend on, and what not. Well, I'm quite certain their players are not using all their available investment options. Magical research is one of those. And it has fantastic returns.

After explaining the basics of magical research, Bruce offers procedures for creating an arcane library, purchasing books (including a table for random determination of book value, and table with 71 spell book), and appraising a book's value. He also gives very brief advice on the appearance of library.

Final section covers “special books” which are in essence, you guessed it, special and powerful arcane books. My favourite might be the devious “vampire” book which slowly devours the magic-user's arcane library without them noticing.

Ultimately, I've found this article worth my time investment. I might try to write a simplified version one day. Yes, I'll include it in the final collection.

The Laws of Spell Design

Author: Ted Zuvich Issue: Dragon Magazine #242 Rating: ★★★★★

A titanic effort by the author to reverse-engineer spell design rules from the AD&D 2e Player's Handbook. Ted argues there are four types of new spells:

• very similar to an existing spell,
• somewhat similar to existing spell(s),
• derived from an existing spell, and
• entirely new spell.

The “laws of spell design” are most applicable to the first three cases, and can be used as a guideline for completely new spells.

There are 21 laws:

• Generalized Law of Parameters: Law of Range, Law of Components, Law of Duration, Law of Time, Law of Areas, and Law of Resistance.
• Implicit Spell Parameters: Law of Changes, Law of Control, Law of Damage, Law of Expertise, Law of Forms, Law of Information, Law of the Mage's Price, Law of Metaspells, Law of Power, Law of Presence, Law of Self, Law of Self Knowledge, Law of Specifics, and Law of Targeting.
• The Final Law: “There will be exceptions.”

Each law is well explained and supported by examples. All laws are summarised in the Generalized Law of Parameters and Implicit Spell Parameters tables. Once you read the article it is easy to reference them.

This is a great article with good ideas to think about spell design. Still, I must address elephant in the room: AD&D spell balance was shit. It was an afterthought, a consequence of numerous play sessions. D&D was a revolutionary game, no doubts about it; and I personally don't care so much for balance. Still, AD&D 2e wasn't that much better in the balance department. The author struggled with that, and delivered the best he could given the conditions.

Procedures offered in this article are best used collaboratively with the player wishing to design a new spell. Yes, I'll include this article in the final collection.

Paths of Power: A variant magic system for the AD&D game

Author: Wolfgang Buar and Steve Kurtz Issue: Dragon Magazine #216 Rating: ★★★★☆

I thought I would hate the system offered in this article, but I ended up liking it very much.

The basic idea is as follows:

• Spells are linked together to form a “path of power.”
• Magic-User must learn the spells in the path sequentially.
• This gives different flavour to Magic-Users (from random collection of spells in the spellbook to deliberate collection of paths of power).

The paths are divided into greater (starts with level 1 spells), and lesser (high level magic, can only be reached through greater paths). The article offers 89 paths (!), of which 61 are greater and 28 are lesser.

Here is what I like about the system: it gives players an option to develop their Magic-User in a very flavourful way. “I'm dedicated to Storm Road, Road of True Sight and Path of Terror” sounds quite epic to me. At the same time, the limitations of paths themselves ensure that “path” Magic-Users don't outshine the base class.

Another thing I like, especially as judge, is that it basically creates hooks automatically.

The downside, as I see it, is that it requires a very, very proactive player. I'd never go through the trouble of creating bespoke paths for my campaign without heavy player buy-in.

There is also a bit of video-gamey feel to the whole concept, but if that's a plus or minus largely depends on you and your players.

Final verdict? Worth reading for inspiration; don't try it unless you have a player who is willing to do the work; yes, I'll include it in the final collection.

The Color of Magic: Specialized spells for D&D game spellcasters

Author: Dan Joyce Issue: Dragon Magazine #200 Rating: ★★★★★

Brief, but influential article that can be perfectly summed up with the following quote:

...the key to creating hundreds of new spells to suit any kind of spell-caster: make cosmetic changes to existing spells. Describe spells differently.

Worth reading. Will go into final collection.

Even Wilder Mages: If your wild-mage PC isn't strange

Author: Joel E. Roosa & Andrew Crossett Issue: Dragon Magazine #202 Rating: ★★☆☆☆

In this case we actually have two articles rolled into one.

First section is about creating random effects for wild surges (two random tables, one for variation type, and one for variation intensity).

Wild mages are very rare (does anyone even play them today?), so I'm not too keen on tacking on a lot of cosmetic procedures (which these ones are). At the same time, I could see using tables here when one needs inspiration for creating spell variations.

Second section offers alternative approach to make wild surges less predictable and more disruptive. A 2d10 table of wild surges is offered.

Although not badly written, I see this as primarily cosmetic article not worth including into the final collection.

Good stuff for a spell: Magic focusing: a new dimension for possessions

Author: John M. Maxstadt Issue: Dragon Magazine #111 Rating: ★★☆☆☆

I don't remember what I expected from this article, but it sure wasn't what's written inside.

The whole gist are magic-focusing items which allow the wielder to expend their spell in order to cast the spell embedded into the focusing item.

For example a Magic-Focusing Wand of Magic Missile would allow the Magic-User to “cast” Detect Magic, or rather, focus it through the wand in order to end up casting Magic Missile instead.

It's not a horrible idea, but the whole article is grossly overwritten (four pages!) and includes questionable Judging advice (a lot of hand-holding for the players).

Ultimately, this article is worth skimming, but will not make it into the final collection.

Charging isn't cheap: How to make and fix rods, staves, and wands

Author: Peter Johnson Issue: Dragon Magazine #101 Rating: ★★☆☆☆

Great article if you have 10th+ level Cleric and 14th+ level Magic-User player characters in your campaign. Alternatively, can be used to torture your players with fetch quests.

First page and a half are most interesting because they summarise magic item creation rules from the Dungeon Master's Guide. Rest of the word count is spent on “recipes” for creating and charging of the following items:

• Rods: Rod of absorption, Rod of beguiling, Rod of cancellation, Rod of lordly might, Rod of resurrection, Rod of rulership, Rod of smiting.
• Staves: Staff of command, Staff of curing, Staff of the magi, Staff of power, Staff of the serpent, Staff of striking, Staff of withering-
• Wands: Wand of conjuration, Wand of enemy detection, Wand of fear, Wand of fire, Wand of frost, Wand of illumination, Wand of illusion, Wand of lightning, Wand of magic detection, Wand of magic missiles, Wand of metal and mineral detection, Wand of negation, Wand of polymorphing, Wand of secret door and trap location, Wand of wonder.

I won't be including it in the final collection.

The Mystic College: Magical academies for AD&D game sorcerers

Author: James A. Yates Issue: Dragon Magazine #123 Rating: ★★★★☆

You have a player haranguing you to play Dumbledore? Are they insisting on building their own Unseen University, with blackjacks and brazen strumpets? Maybe they want their very own Island of Rorke on which they could become impotent?

Oh boy, then this article will save you, beleaguered Judge!

Ten pages of painstakingly detailed explanations on how to establish a magical academy, covering everything from finding land and securing permits, to determining residents of the school, their benefits and obligations, student advancement (the joy and adrenaline of getting 0-level scrubs from -2000 XP to 0 XP by lecturing them for 25 years is indescribable!), faculty advancement (watch-out for that ambitious Snape-wannabe, who knows what might they be plotting), territorial development (how to hire your own King Arthur or Mordred), and policies and domain growth (will you terrorize the locals lawfully or chaotically?).

I fell asleep six times whilst reading this magnificent treatise. I cannot imagine greater punishment for any player that pesters me for opening their own arcane college. On the other hand, I'll sleep well, for procedures presented within are quite fine.

This article will make it into the final collection.

#Resource #DragonMagazine

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Bard's Gate (Swords & Wizardry)

The Northlands Saga Complete (Swords & Wizardry)

The Monster Overhaul

#Postbox #OSR #SW #FGG

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Wonderful news:

After years of turmoil, the Estate of Gary Gygax was taken over by a court assigned estate manager. As part of the agreement to raise money to secure the debts of the estate, Troll Lord Games was granted the right and privilege to reprint several of Gary Gygax’s works. To wit, The Gygaxian Fantasy World Series, Castle Zagyg: Yggsburgh, and The Hermit are each coming back into print.

We hope to bring each of these to you table as soon as possible. Our current plan is to release a Castle Zagyg: Yggsburgh retro print immediately. This is a reprint of the book as it was released in 2005. Following this, we will release The Hermit as a Kickstarter campaign. The Hermit will be updated for Castles and Crusades; the Fantasy Roleplaying Game, laid out in full color with new maps and illustrations, contain notes on its development and all original material as well. The Gygaxian Fantasy World Series will be launched on Kickstarter in the first quarter of 2024. The eight plus volume series of works is one of Gary’s prides and joys as well as a treasure trove of information for anyone wanting to create a comprehensive fantasy world setting.

Read the full statement from Troll Lord Games here.

#News #TLG #OSR

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Adventurers

Character	Class	Description
Rashomon	Elf level 2	A dangerous looking elf.
Llyfed	Elf level 3	Thin and balding elf whom also happens to be Rashomon's friend.
Brent Goose	Cleric level 5	An eccentric, but charismatic, cleric seeking the Holy Bird. White robes and black cloak conceal his tall, frail and anemic frame. His eagle-like nose is exposed for all to see.
Oberon	Fighter level 3	A tall, supple hunter adorned with bones and horns of his prey.
Derennan	Dwarf level 3	A dwarf hailing from Western Wastes.
Hist	Fighter level 1

Redleaves 11th, Airday

“Is everyone back at full strength?”

“Seems so!”

“Then let's head back to that Shang-Ta temple.”

“How about we don't follow the trail this time?”

“Sound like a good idea.”

“We should cut across, straight up to the summit.”

“Sounds like a great plan!”

What could go wrong?

Redleaves 12th, Waterday

Oberon successfully led the party up the scenic Ghinarian Hills. They spotted a tall, totem-like stone idol of perched eagle on one of the summits.

A watch later and they reached the temple's entrance. They approached from the east, stopping some two hundred feet away.

The lay of the land was as follows.

The party stood on a plateau overlooking the sea to the east, with temple to their west.

The temple, a windowless stone box sixty feet wide and long and twenty feet tall, seeming chiseled into the hilltop was straight in front of them. Staircase carved into the rock led to its base. It was a rather sharp incline. Shang-Ta idol towered atop the stone building. Its left wing was broken off.

A simple stone building rested atop a twenty feet tall escarpment to their right. Behind it was another escarpment, also roughly twenty feet tall.

To their left was another escarpment, roughly forty feet tall.

“Let's check the smaller building first...”

The party led by the elven duo, Llyfed and Rashomon, carefully inched towards the weirdly shaped house. The window openings revealed filthy insides. Heck, even outsides were filthy, nay, desecrated with streaks of soot and dried faeces.

The doors fell down at the first sign of provocation. Little of value was found in the dilapidated building. Several broken figurines of eagles were piled in the corner, covered in excrement.

“How about you stay here, and watch our back?”

“I'm not staying here alone!”

The party descended back to the plateau and went for the broad staircase leading to the temple.

Walking closer to the idol they could see how damaged it really was. Cracks and fissures covered its stone body, one whole wing was knocked off, and the beak looked chipped as well.

Llyfed, Brent, Oberon, and Hist saw the statue spring to life, crying out in pain as darkness engulfed it and a sea of deformed humans plucked at its wings and body.

Rest of the party looked in confusion as the aforementioned adventurers stood like paralysed, mumbling nonsense whilst staring at the sky.

Once everyone was back to their senses, they decided to follow narrow stairs leading to their right, to second tier plateau surrounding the peak.

By now everyone had noticed noticeable lack of vegetation and wildlife. Everything was unnaturally quiet. Patches of ground were soft, covered with sickly purple grass.

A stone building lied to the west, overlooking north-west portion of Ghinarian hills. Dorn was left behind to guard the stairs, while the others, led by Llyfed, approached the building.

Simple wooden doors were shut closed. The window shutters were closed as well.

Too focused on sneaking up to the house, Llyfed failed to notice that he was sinking more and more with each step. Three large insects, reminiscent of large balls with legs, oozing purple ichor ambushed him from the ground, surprising the elf.

Llyfed's superior armour class combined with Rashomon's Sleep spell saved his life. The party quickly dispatched the giant ticks, and then rolled them off the escarpment.

Investigating the house revealed little besides more foul waste, a primitive painting of a bull's head, and sacks of something rotten. Entrance was booby trapped. The trap was obvious and shoddily made, so Derennan disposed of it with little trouble.

“This must be the resting place of those cannibal barbarians we've encountered a week ago.”

Something of value was found when Derennan broke into a locked drawer of a heavy desk. There he found 211 silver pieces as well as velum scroll. Unrolling it uncovered what looked to be a regional map with Xs at specific spots. Compass rose was stamped in bottom right corner.

“Let's get to that temple!”

As they approached Derennan suffered the same vision as Llyfed, Brent, Oberon, and Hist did. Simultaneously, Hist, Brent, and Oberon were momentarily pulled into hellish landscape as giant eagle screeched whilst naked men broke its wings and carved its body.

Elves used the opportunity to investigate the base of the idol. An arrangement of broken iron spikes, mallets, and sledgehammers were strewn about. The broken stone wing laid on the south side, effectively blocking passage.

Once everyone recovered, the party made their way around the ledge by the temple's base. There they found two smooth stone doors. Listening revealed nothing.

Hist forced his way in, nearly falling on his face as large stone doors swung open. They swung shut as quickly as they opened.

“Huh? A visitor?” someone asked him in pitch black “Have you come to pay respects?” the person sounded like they have a lot of difficulty speaking.

Rest of the party barged in, inserting crowbar under the stone doors as to prevent them from closing. Sudden burst of daylight blinded the man whom had been speaking to Hist.

What a sore sight he was! Naked, scarred, with sickly green, almost transparent skin revealing his atrophied muscles. He reeked of rot and refuse. The man was sitting on a stone bench by the south wall.

“Aaaaa!” he screamed as he ran to his right, into the dark corridor.

The party spent a moment to investigate the chamber. There was little to find besides stone bench and narrow corridor in the south-east corner. Derennan could spot that this was a finely constructed temple, despite its extremely simple lines.

Pushing on, down the dark corridor revealed a t-junction. Hist took the lead. Peeking into the unnatural darkness to his right was rewarded by an intensely violent vision. The giant eagle, now pinned to the ground by countless deformed figures, was mercilessly beaten and stoned. Finally, a silhouette of giant man with bull's horns appears. It plucks out the eagle's eyes.

Hist finds himself unable to see as streams of blood pour out from his eye sockets.

As this happens, Dorn yells to the party. A naked man with rotten teeth and crazy eyes is standing outside. The man giggles as he pulls out the crowbar. Doors slam shut as Derennan curses. The dwarf runs up to the wall and desperately seeks for an opening mechanism, finding none.

“Damn!”

“Ignore that junction and push on!”

Adventurers interpret that as splitting.

Dorn and Brent stay behind to watch the doors whence they cometh from. Rashomon and Derennan stand by the junction. Llyfed, Hist, and Oberon move all the way to the end of the corridor and then turn, pass another junction and stop by yet another turn.

At that moment everyone but suffers from violent visions, losing their chance to act. Hist begins frothing from his mouth as he cries blood once more. Confused and enraged, he assaults Llyfed. The elf manages to deflect all the blows and calms down young warrior, despite suffering himself.

Suddenly a small tit lands on Brent's shoulder.

“Save your flock. Or perish with them.”

Brent feels warm and fuzzy for a second. Heavy fog that clouded his mind seemed lifted. Knowing without knowing, he realised Kadrim has blessed him with the following prayers: Light, Protection from Evil, Speak with Animals, and Bless.

While Llyfed was busy evading Hist's attacks, a naked figure with pale green sickly skin emerged from the dark corridor and flailed at Oberon. Fighter deflected the first blow; deflected the second blow; but failed to evade naked man's bite; he fell to the ground, stiff as a board.

Dorn turned around to face another naked man, deflecting all attacks.

“Will you come to my aid at once!” he yelled back at the party.

Brent casts Bless on area just south of him. Himself, Rashomon and Derennan were affected.

A tremendous bull roar filled the temple, shaking it to its very core. The roar reverberated off the walls, like it was coming from all the directions. Rashomon picked up that it came from the corridor to his left.

And then walls begun crying blood.

“I think I screwed us.” Brent giggled.

Derennan took a shot a the green man attacking Oberon. His arrow landed well enough to send the creature fleeing, leaving a trail of purplish droplets. Dorn slayed the nude attacker.

“Good riddance!”

Rashomon cast Magic Missile, just in case something big comes around the corner.

Hist and Llyfed propped paralysed Oberon against the wall. Then they proceeded west, to the end.

Hist reached the corner and peeked around. To his sharp right was a diagonal corridor covered with hundreds of copper pieces reflecting bits of torchlight. Main corridor extended further north. Hist could see another t-junction just at the edge of his torchlight.

Derennan suddenly felt sick to his stomach. Like great weight had been placed on him. He braced for charge.

Llyfed run up to join with Hist only to find a naked man, frothing from his mouth, silver eagle hanging around his neck, crouching on the fighter sprawled on the ground.

Man's chest was completely open, the wound roughly in the shape of a bull's head. Llyfed could see straight into the gaping hole. There was no heart.

Naked man dragged Hist into darkness.

Llyfed followed.

Discuss at Dragonsfoot forum.

#Wilderlands #SessionReport

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US Copyright Office issued US Copyright Registration TX 9-307-067, which was the only thing left for Open RPG Creative (ORC) License to be considered final.

Here are the license, guide, and certificate of registration:

• ORC License
• ORC Answers & Explanations
• ORC License Certificate of Registration

As a brief reminder, last December Hasbro & Wizards of the Coast tried to sabotage the thriving RPG scene which was using OGL to create open gaming content. Their effort backfired and led to creation of above ORC License as well as AELF (“OGL but fixed” license by Matt Finch).

As always, make sure to carefully read any license before using it.

#News #OGL #ORC

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These are my reading notes of various Dragon Magazine articles. Learn more about the collection here.

Swords Slicing into a Sharp Topic

Author: David Nalle Issue: Dragon Magazine #58 Rating: ★★☆☆☆

A brief historical overview of the sword. Main message is summed up with this paragraph:

Swords weren’t just stamped out by the hundreds. Each one was a unique work, embodying the skill of a bladesmith. Swords of quality should not be sold cheaply and are a warrior’s mark of success.

Or in other words, think twice before hand-waving away a band of 10+ adventurers walking in a hamlet in the middle of fucking nowhere and buying swords, armours, and 100 gallons of oil.

Enchanting Weapons: Putting the “Magic” into Magical Weapons

Author: Mike Nystul Issue: Dragon Magazine #243 Rating: ★★☆☆☆

A series of prompts on how to make magic weapons a bit more unique, divided into following categories:

• Weapon's origin: commission, badge of office, masterpiece, secret society, special purpose.
• Weapon's location: bad guy, in a stomach/digestive tract of dangerous monster, fields of the fallen, test, thieves, twist of fate.
• Assigning abilities: interesting is more effective than powerful, attunement, damage dice, helping hand, initiation, priming, restrictions.
• Associated plotlines: equal but opposite, give it back, it isn't working, one of many, treasure hunt, whatever you desire.

It's a fine article to read once or twice, but hardly a mandatory one.

Always Wear Your Best Suit: Making armor and weapons unique for all characters

Author: Gordon R. Menzies Issue: Dragon Magazine #148 Rating: ★★★★★

Three ways to pimp your arms and armour:

• Decorations: enamelling, simple engraving, complex engraving, and elaborate engraving.
• Plating with precious metals: copper, bronze, silver, electrum, gold, platinum, mithral, and adamantite.
• Making them from different metals: copper, bronze, meteorite iron, mithral, and adamantite.

Everything has cost, impact on value of base item, time required, impact on encumbrance, and functionality. Each metal has brief description, plus reference to an article Fire For Effect! in Dragon Magazine #123 which includes melting points for each.

Now, this is exactly the type of article I am looking for! Just three pages, has fluff, has mechanics & procedures, and tables! perfect. Yes, I will include it in the master collection.

In Defense of the Shield: Shield-using skills in the AD&D game

Author: Tim Merrett Issue: Dragon Magazine #127 Rating: ☆☆☆☆☆ OR ★★★★☆

Do you think shield improving AC is too simple? Do you yearn for CRUNCHY SHIELDS?! Do you agree that shields were historically difficult to use? That they were more important than armour? Ever wished you could spend your proficiency slots on handling a shield?

YES?!

Well, then this is the perfect article for you!!!

Not for me though.

Two Hands Are Better Than One: A handy guide on handling weapons

Author: Donald D. Miller Issue: Dragon Magazine #127 Rating: ★★★★☆

At first I thought that the only good thing about this article is the illustration of cleric bonking some pitiful fool, sporting a big ass grin, a big ass cross, and double wielding maces.

But then I had the following question in one of my game sessions:

“Wait, can dwarves carry polearms? Aren't they huge?”

This article provides and answer in one page of text, and two tables. And I love it! It provides maximum length and weight for secondary (off-hand), primary (prime-hand), one-handed, two-handed, and pole arm weapons for dwarves, elves, gnomes, half-elves, halflings, half-orcs, and humans.

And then, to make it even easier, it lists all AD&D weapons and races and how many hands it takes them to wield 'em. Perfect.

This one might be included in the final collection.

Different Totes for Different Folks: Basic backpacks for every D&D game adventurer

Author: Vince Garcia Issue: Dragon Magazine #191 Rating: ★★★★★

If you are playing any flavour of the classic D&D (B/X, BECMI, RC) or their retroclone, then this is a must-have article.

It replicates and expands adventuring gear from the core rulebooks in just page and a half. All the additions are meaningful, with clear in-game application. In other words, the spirit of simplicity is maintained.

Here is a list of all added items: explorer's backpack, waterproof backpack, bandages, bedroll, block and tackle, bow strings, candle, chisel, hand-held climbing hook, disguise kit, hand-drill, heavy gloves, soft gloves, inexpensive holy symbol, vial of ink, blank journal, knapsack, utility knife, bullseye lantern, leather lasso, leather in bulk, lockpicks, magnifying glass, explorers' map, detailed map, general map, stringed musical instrument, wind musical instrument, oil in metal flask, papyrus, parchment, parka, cooking pot, quill pen, quiver (back and belt), salt, waterproof scroll case, sewing kit, blank spellbook, spellbook cover, tents, twine, empty glass vial, and whistle.

Further, each class gets a starting kit as well, which are in essence predefined equipment packs with price and encumbrance.

#Resource #DragonMagazine

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Adventurers

Character	Class	Description
Conly	Fighter level 1	Young man with brown hair and eyes. Carries a shield with large acorn symbol.
Algon	Thief level 1	Handsome and friendly heartthrob; shifty at heart.
Derennan	Dwarf level 3	A dwarf hailing from Western Wastes.
Barad the Bald	Magic-user level 1	Bald, beardless, chinless, and lazy-eyed.
Hist	Fighter level 1
Rashomon	Elf level 1	A dangerous looking elf.
Llyfed	Elf level 3	Thin and balding elf whom also happens to be Rashomon's friend.
Brent Goose	Cleric level 5	An eccentric, but charismatic, cleric seeking the Holy Bird. White robes and black cloak conceal his tall, frail and anemic frame. His eagle-like nose is exposed for all to see.
Oberon	Fighter level 3	A tall, supple hunter adorned with bones and horns of his prey.

Redleaves 3rd, Earthday

Two weeks flew by as the adventurers recovered moved into their newly acquired home, a respectable townhouse in a nice part of Hara.

Norwood Bode, the former owner, kept his word and introduced the party to:

• Eval Strikker, the proprietor of armory just next to them. He primarily manufactures chainshirts for the garrison, but will always find time for Norwood's friends.
• Bindon Sweettooth, the host at the Shoreside Club, a private club mostly frequented by the local nobility and army officers. Norwood warned the adventurers to invest into their appearance—”Easier to get sensitive work that way!”
• Haermond II, the castellan of Hara, whom did recognize some of the adventurers for their previous help with a sensitive issue. They accidentally ran into him at the Shoreside Club, so Norwood used the opportunity to flaunt his connections.

Few, more entrepreneurially inclined members also invested in gathering rumour and intelligence. Here is what they learned:

• Gnomes of Ractuan are livid. Several barges of raw material sent to Hara went missing. They've recently sent a delegation which demanded immediate action or they'll stop doing business through Hara. Haermond II is already stretched thin, but this is Hara's lifeblood, so he is likely to weaken all other posts to resolve this.
• Another patrol went missing at the Midnight Goddess Hills. “Eaten alive by horrors beyond human imagination!” “The Circle must've been broken!” “Nonsense, it is those damn jungle barbarians...”
• Namelin has been on a spending spree. They hired most of the available capable fighters. The rumour has it they also financed nearly 70% of all assassination contracts in the last eight months.
• “An ancient idol of Shang Ta, the Windgod, rots away on the slopes of Ghinarian hills. Peasants speak of desecration, violation, and evildoing. Surely someone looking for divine favour could do worse than taking care of it...”

They also spent time studying the map they've recovered from the burial mound Zarifa had sent them to.

Playing sages, the adventurers suspected the tall mountain might be one of the peaks of the Castellan Mountains looming over Hara from the west. Consequently, they spent a full day researching the books at the Wizards' Guild, records at the Forsetti's Temple, and frequenting taverns for local tales.

This is what they learned after a full day of investigation:

• Castellan Mountains effectively split Altanis in half. Crossing them is a treacherous undertaking even for the most prepared. Those that survive the climb still have to deal with venerable dragons, marauding stone giants, and orcs of Arang-Tok.
• Madcat Mountain, the closest one to Hara, is named so for the twin spires that jut out of the peak of this mountain. The summit is approximately 10,000 feet in height. It's best to scale them in spring.
• There are no significant records of graveyards. Life in Wilderlands is too short and brutal to keep track of such trivialities on a large scale.

Rashomon recruited Dorn, a veteran fighter, while Conly and Algon recruited four commoners for menial tasks like carrying treasure and not getting in danger.

Ever since Brent Goose has returned from the ruined tower he found himself followed by a flock of small birds. They poop on him on every occasion. Brent also found his magic impotent; his prayers either not working or producing subpar results.

“Hey guys I'm in trouble with my god. Can we go kill the things in the mountain from my vision?”

“What vision?”

“I had a vision of some guys hissing at me.”

“That's very vague. How about we go take care of the ruined idol of Shang-Ta?”

“That works too”.

They arranged a transport on barge carrying livestock to Ahyf, the settlement closest to Ghinarian hills. It was a fine party, counting eight adventurers, one retainer, four porters, two draft horses, and one wagon.

The expedition had arrived on Ahyf, a trading village by the sea, in the last daylight watch of Redleaves 5th, Spiritday. They slept with animals for 1 copper piece per person.

Redleaves 5th, Spiritday

Ahyf is a large trading village where merchant ships take over goods shipped from Hara as well as anyone else who comes to barter. The gnomes of Ractuan and the humans of Hara both ship their goods down on coastal barges to Ahyf every month to the market.

Warlord Briaron ensures that the trade goes undisturbed, at least in Ahyf, that is. Once you sail you are on your own. Camus, the Priest of Thoth, is well respected and acts as the local judge.

Meek Brent was too afraid to seek audience with him, even after seeing the crane-like bird at the entrance of the temple. He'd rather pray to the stone than dare speak to a man of true conviction.

Hist, on the other hand, politely queued to be granted audience with Camus. There was a long line of peasants asking for divination, advice, help, blessing, and who knows what else.

“How can I help you, son?”

“We heard there is a sacred site nearby that has fallen into evil hands. We came to purge it. Could you tell us more?”

Although Camus failed to show any signs excitement, he explained that many temples on Ghinarian hills were abandoned in recent years. Locals report sightings of undead, but he doesn't believe them to be true.

“It's most likely the crazed, cannibal barbarians. They bathe in blood, reek of rot, and act irrationally. It's easy to confuse them for brainless undead. The only thing they have in common is their shared hatred for the living.”

“You will find the idol facing east. It is very similar to the one in Antil, but nowhere near as grand. Oh, you've never been there? Well, it is an upright statue of an eagle spreading its wings.”

“Three priests tended to the idol back in the day. Send them my regards if you find them. Or end their suffering, if they've turned to evil ways. You have my blessing. Now go.”

And they left.

The party started their slow ascent up the Ghinarian hills. Those were gentle, wet hills stretching from the Cedarwade in the west all the way to the coast and the Cape of No Return in the east. Beautiful and pastoral hills give a breathtaking view of the sea.

Hist and Oberon navigated the party using the priest's instruction to follow the old, serpentine trail leading to the idol of Shang-Ta.

Redleaves 6th, Airday

“Huh, he didn't mention this...”

A barricade of cut down trees stood some hundred feet ahead of them, blocking path forward. They were currently marching on a fifty foot wide path. A natural rocky wall was to their right, roughly five feet tall, while a sharp fall was to their left, also roughly five feet deep.

Four red-skinned human-shaped figures stood behind the trees.

“Hey, what's this?” one of the adventurers yelled.

A volley of arrows was the reply he received.

“Well, that's not nice.”

The party responded in kind. They found that the barbarians were using their cover effectively.

“Watch out!” Derennan informed the others of three more attackers, coming from below! They were scaling the cliff, daggers in their mouths, showing of rotting teeth.

A brutal skirmish ensued. Llyfed managed to kill two with his expert marksmanship; Oberon managed to drop his bow but Brent picked it up for him; Conly got badly wounded but was saved by Algon and Hist; Derennan was flanked and repeatedly stabbed by two of them, he tanked them both.

With three down, the barbarians begun fleeing like animals. Those behind the barricaded run up the hills. One that fought Derennan jumped off the hill, to the lower plane, and made a run for it. The other one was surrounded and had nowhere to go. He took amazing amount of punishment.

Bleed profusely, he turned to the dwarf, cut open his pants, grabbed his manhood with his left hand, and cut it off with his right. Then he chucked it at the shocked dwarf—whom failed to evade the unexpected projectile. Floppy parts just splooshed against his plate armour, and then fell down to the ground.

The lunatic then disembowelled himself, throwing his innards at his feet. Finally, he turned to the side of the cliff and jumped on his head.

Half-dead Conly did not get a chance to heal. In fact, he didn't even realise when he died. It was Oberon who spotted another red-skinned figure standing atop the hill to south of them. The man was a good distance away from them, but his laughter echoed all around them.

He even made a little celebratory dance as he hit Conly in the neck with his arrow. Then he flipped the party and disappeared out of sight.

Little of value was found on the corpses of the ambushers, a mere eleven gold coins. The party put the wounded and dead into the wagon and returned to Ahyf to heal.

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These are my reading notes of various Dragon Magazine articles. Learn more about the collection here.

The six main skills: What AD&D game abilities mean in real terms

Author: Jefferson P. Swycaffer Issue: Dragon Magazine #107 Rating: ★★☆☆☆

A verbose description of the six ability scores, from “the most material to the least”:

• Strength: a measure of muscular power, reflected in speed, lifting ability, throwing ability, jumping range, capacity to absorb damage or resist pain, and endurance.
• Constitution: a measure of overall health, endurance, and vigor. Reflected in strong heart, healthy lungs, and a good muscle tone.
• Dexterity: a mix of manual dexterity, coordination, and agility.
• Intelligence: people are perceived as intelligent when they are observant, methodical, or articulate.
• Wisdom: strength of willpower.
• Charisma: a matter of being smooth, suave, positive, persuasive, gentle, and sincere; natural leadership; pride and envy are the primary sins against charisma.

As you can see from the above definitions, Jefferson does well defining physical characteristics but fails short with intelligence, wisdom, and charisma. He essentially uses circular, self-referential logic to describe each.

All in all, I don't regret reading this article, but I probably wouldn't recommend it to anyone but the absolute newcomers who are wondering what does each attribute stand for. And even then, wouldn't you expect that to be described in whatever ruleset you are using?

Realistic vital statistics: A new system for figuring heights & weights

Author: Stephen Inniss Issue: Dragon Magazine #91 Rating: ★★★★★

Awesome and practical article for generating believable heights and weights for characters. In fact, I've extensively used it to generate NPCs.

Stephen finds the following faults with the system offered in AD&D:

• Dwarves, gnomes, and halflings are implausibly heavy and extraordinarily dense for the given figures.
• Human and half-human females weigh less for their height than do their brothers; this isn't the case with real-world humans.
• Human males are 9% taller than females, whereas in the real world the difference is smaller.
• It produces extraordinarily tall humans.
• Height and weight are determined independently.
• Provided tables do not make provisions for all the allowable character races.

Now, Stephen doesn't stop at the critique—he offers a completely fleshed out system contained in seven tables:

• Table A: Average heights (roll for humans, look-up for demihumans)
• Table B1: Variation from average height (roll)
• Table B2: Height adjustment by strength (look-up)
• Table C: Character weight by height (look-up)
• Table D: Weight modifiers by race (look-up)
• Table E1: Variation from average weight (roll)
• Table E2: Weight adjustment by strength (look-up)

Don't allow the tables to discourage you—it doesn't take long to use them. Stephen claims “a minute or less” but it will most likely take you a bit longer the first time.

Final verdict: I will include this article in my “final” Dragon Magazine Collection. I might also include it in the Wilderlands Gazetteer I'm working on for those players that like to have that kind of detail.

Short hops and big drops: Here's how far and how high characters can jump

Author: Stephen Inniss Issue: Dragon Magazine #93 Rating: ★★★★☆

A simple system for determining how far can a character jump. Everything is based on a so called “jump number” which is determined by the character's strength, dexterity, race, and class. Various environmental modifiers are taken into account in order to determine how far can the character jump.

Another great article by Stephen. I've used it a few times to determine if characters could plausibly jump over the chasm. Most notable use has been during a play-by-post session when a sole survivor was fleeing for his life. He stumbled upon an 11-foot wide chasm so I gave him the article and asked him to figure it out.

With that being said, most of the time I default to anything shorter than 5-feet is automatic success, unless there is combat or some other distraction. The procedures here are nice back-up for those special cases.

Yes, this article will also make it into the final Dragon Magazine Collection.

Sight in the Darkness: An open-eyed look at infravision, the Underdark, and your PCs

Author: Roger E. Moore Issue: Dragon Magazine #211 Rating: ★★☆☆☆

Roger explains what infravision is, how it works above- and under-ground, how it was treated in different game editions (Chainmail, D&D, AD&D 1e, D&D Rules Cyclopedia, and AD&D 2e), and “clever” tricks with infravision.

I'm on the fence for this one. It is not badly written but is very thin on usable stuff, at least for me. As a trained engineering familiar with thermodynamics and thermal imaging, there was little new for me on the scientific side of the article. The gaming side was thin and limited to small gimmicks (e.g. making light bombs).

Actually, I found the historic overview of infravision in various editions of D&D to be the most interesting part of this article. The biggest takeaway for me is that I should remove infravision from elves.

Note: There is an updated version of this article called Infravision & Your Fantasy Hero.

The 7-Sentence NPC: A new way to bring nonplayer characters to life (in game, that is)

Author: C. M. Cline Issue: Dragon Magazine #184 Rating: ★★★★☆

A seven-point checklist for describing NPCs:

• Occupation & history
• Physical description
• Attributes & skills
• Values & motivations
• Interactions with others
• Useful knowledge
• Distinguishing features

Four example to see it in action.

Good article, highlighting what is actionable & gameable information for the Judge. At the same time, today we know better than presenting all of the above in a single god-damn paragraph.

Yes, this article will also make it in my Dragon Magazine Collection.

A new loyalty base: All the tables you need, all in one place

Author: Stephen Inniss Issue: Dragon Magazine #107 Rating: ★★★★★

Man, I love tables. This article has 25 of them:

• Table A: Encounter reactions (roll)
• Tables B: Encounter reaction adjustments (look-up)
  • Table B1: Charisma
  • Table B2: Species reaction
  • Table 23: Alignment difference
  • Table B4: Alignment
  • Table B5: Physical aspect
  • Table B6: Social behaviour
  • Table B7: Social group
  • Table B8: Inducements
• Table C: Loyalty (roll)
• Tables D: Loyalty adjustments (look-up)
  • Table D1: Charisma
  • Table D2: Enlistment
  • Table D3: Association
  • Table D4: Status
  • Table D5: Pay or profits
  • Table D6: General treatment
  • Table D7: Discipline
  • Table D8: Special circumstances
• Table E: Morale check (roll)
• Tables F: Morale adjustments (look-up)
  • Table F1: Perceived odds
  • Table F2: Personal situation
  • Table F3: Leader's situation
• Table G1: Interactions of character species and “humanoids” (look-up)
• Table G2: Interactions of humanoid species (look-up)
• Table H: Reactions between alignment types (look-up)

Stephen reworks the original AD&D 1e system from d00 to d20 with roll-high logic while collating all the reaction, morale, and loyalty rules into one place. There is hardly anything that I could disagree with in this article, but I can see it being dismissed as too crunchy or intimidating.

The reality is that the procedure is simple: a single d20 roll. Where it slows down is referencing all the look-up tables, which are granular. Good news is that any Judge can easily reduce the granularity by shortening the modifier bands. Heck, just keeping Charisma between 3 and 18 removes 17 lines from table B1.

Ultimately, I'd recommend all the Judges to read this article, even if they don't plan to use the rules and procedures within. Stephen peppers it with enough useful advice to make it worth your time, while all the numbers in the table are useful even without ever using them as intended.

Allow me to explain: each table has thoughtful modifiers which you might've not thought of. By reading through them, even once, and their proposed numerical expression, you will at least have an idea how might they manifest in your own game.

Usable, thought-through procedures is what I'm looking for in Dragon Magazine. Therefore, this article will also be included in the final collection.

#Resource #DragonMagazine

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What good PCs are made of: Play characters with more substance than statistics

Author: Katharine Kerr Issue: Dragon Magazine #96 Rating: ★★☆☆☆

Player Characters (PCs) are players' way to contribute and shape the Judge's world. Most players fail to create “true” PCs, i.e. characters that are different than themselves. At least that is what Katharine presents as the core challenge.

She offers solid advice on how to create characters by thinking about social class (random table), family life and background (random table), motivation, way of talking, opinion of the world, and polytheism.

The article is well written and well argued—I especially appreciated brief discussion of medieval upbringing and polytheism—but ultimately doesn't really match neither my play- nor judging-style.

For better or worse, the main campaign I'm running has had quite high death toll. To follow Katharine's advice to the letter would be frustrating, for it does take more effort than rolling six attribute scores and picking your class.

On the other hand, I could see myself using her guidance to create name-level and other NPCs of importance. I could also see it used after PC hits level 4 or above. You know, when they don't die from a single slap anymore.

Notes From a Semi-Successful D&D Player

Author: James Ward Issue: Dragon Magazine #13 Rating: ★★★★★

Ten tips in ten paragraphs! In order, they are:

• Make Continual Light wand light-sticks as soon as possible.
• Carry around a small potted rose plant, Growth/Plant Spell, and Potion of Plant Control.
• Get a ten foot pole and a five foot steel rod.
• Invest in steel potion bottles.
• Carry freshly squeezed garlic juice in small vials (kept in steel pouches, of course).
• Polymorph cockatrice into a snail, throw the snail at adversaries and cast Dispel Magic on it.
• Get all Magic-User poison for the dagger, no matter the price.
• All Magic-Users should start creating new spells as soon as possible; trade and sell them.
• A set of extra spellbooks for Magic-Users is a must.
• Get Permanent spell as soon as possible, for it is as good as Wish. Make Fly permanent on fragile characters, Infravision and Protection from Evil on Fighters, and Charm on foes.

I think I understand why Gary got to increasingly dislike Magic-Users.

And now I know what I'll start spending money on in The Keep on Yeoldelands campaign.

Be aware and take care: Basic principles of successful adventuring

Author: Lew Pulsipher Issue: Dragon Magazine #79 Rating: ★★★★★

Absolutely amazing article, should be mandatory reading for players trying to get into OSR play-style as well!

“The qualities that characters, and the players of those characters, must exhibit to succeed in a fantasy adventure are founded on the ideas of common sense and cooperation...”

The article is well written and very practical. The advice is broken down into following buckets:

• Generic: elementary precautions, whom do you trust, know your objective and stick to it, gather information, keep a monster chronicle, provide for rescue/escape, equipment, security in camps.
• Behaviour during the adventure: avoid mental passivity in battle, coordinate efforts, keep reserves in reserve, don't take separate routes, concentration of attacks, you can't beat everything, get out while you have some “bottom,” never flee into unknown areas, don't back yourself into a corner, guard your spell casters, make lists, other precautions.
• Staying alive after the adventure: search for enemies, search for hidden treasure, examination of items.
• Using magic wisely and well: deception in place of magic, phantasmal forces and illusions, imaginative use of spells.
• Adventuring and referees: know thy referee.

The only controversial advice might be the last section, which in essence encourages players to understand the Judges' behaviour and then exploit it. For example, if your Judge is willing to fudge the dice in your favour, you should leverage that.

I can understand that advice in a more adversarial Player-Judge relationship, which was perhaps more common back in the day. Today I'd say that collaborative play-style is more prevalent.

Either way, this is a truly evergreen article, which I'll definitely include in the final Dragon Magazine Collection.

Assessing, not guessing: How PCs can make their own value judgements

Author: Lionel D. Smith Issue: Dragon Magazine #104 Rating: ★★☆☆☆

Lionel offers a simple procedure for PCs to randomly determine value of treasure items. It takes into account class, race, and level to determine base probability for successful estimation, and then uses d20 and a control die to determine the result.

Although the procedure and advice are solid, I see them more fitting for a Sage or NPC than PCs. The closing sentence is an important reminder to those who struggle with traditional gold-for-XP systems:

“The business of buying and selling can and should be an adventure in itself.”

Just because the players returned with a large haul of jewellery, gems, and who-knows-what doesn't mean they are rich. Give them XP, and then let them figure our how to liquidate all that wealth in a world where most don't earn a single gold coin in a single year.

#Resource #DragonMagazine

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Adventurers

Character	Class	Description
Derennan	Dwarf level 3	A dwarf hailing from Western Wastes.
Barad the Bald	Magic-user level 1	Bald, beardless, chinless, and lazy-eyed.
Rashomon	Elf level 2	A dangerous looking elf.
Llyfed	Elf level 2	Thin and balding elf whom also happens to be Rashomon's friend.
Conly	Fighter level 1	Young man with brown hair and eyes. Carries a shield with large acorn symbol.
Algon	Thief level 1	Handsome and friendly heartthrob; shifty at heart.

Willowind 13th, Earthday

“I must return. I must.”

Derennan recruited Rashomon, Llyfed, Conly, and Algon. Together they would head back to the burial mound.

Barad decided to skip the expedition to the place where a horrific skeleton with flaming beard turned Basson into a lifeless husk whilst another skeleton cleaved stocky Gwendin in half.

Could anyone have blamed him?

Either way, the adventuring party returned to the mound with little difficulties. The only encounter of notice was a disgruntled bunch of gnomes entering Hara.

Derennan led the party into the mound through the secret entrance he discovered last time. They cautiously descended, painfully aware that their former allies might have transformed into new, potent adversaries.

Gwendin's two chunks begun to rot, attracting maggots and flies. Basso still looked like a sun dried raisin—raisin with grotesquely deformed face of horror, that is.

“I'll stand and watch guard at this intersection. An army of skeletons marched through the doors to the south last time. I don't want them to surprise us.” the dwarf announced.

“Uh, have you recovered all the valuables from your former associates? They don't need them anymore...” Algon inquired charmingly.

Llyfed and Conly descended further down, stepping over the remains of their friends. They carefully inched into the chamber with sarcophagus.

Nothing assaulted them.

The sarcophagus was half open.

A headless skeleton in chainshirt laid in it.

The elf poked it.

Nothing.

Conly poked it.

Nothing.

Conly relieved it of valuables: a chunky necklace with blue sheen and ruby stone, a large gold ring with ruby stone, and a nice looking silver brooch.

He put the ring on.

Algon screamed.

Rashomon turned in time to see a skeleton dressed in glistening chainshirt holding stone slab like it was nothing. An unreal flaming beard adorned his skull.

The undead flung the slab to the side, and tried to jump Algon. The thief evaded it just in time for Rashomon to cast Magic Missile at the skeleton.

Derennan' prediction came true. A horde of undead poured out of the south corridor.

The dwarf gingerly placed the torch on the ground.

Then he gripped his polearm and held his ground.

Algon ran up to him, preferring to fight greatsword-wielding skeletons over the scary life-sucking skeleton.

“Fall back into the crypt, three of us can surely beat him!” Conly yelled at Rashomon.

The elf obliged, taking a few steps back. He made sure to spray the skeleton with holy water as he did so. Alas, the undead was more than happy to follow, tackling the elf to the ground.

It knotted its unnaturally chilly skeletal fingers around Rashomon's neck, and then leaned in for a deadly kiss. The elf could feel life essence being sucked right out of him. It felt as if someone plunged arms right into his stomach and was churning his insides.

Conly and Llyfed witnessed Rashomon withering in front of their eyes.

“Agh!”

Derennan destroyed several skeletons, but one finally managed to get to him.

The dwarf was badly wounded.

“Will you forgive me if I run?” Algon asked charmingly.

“Do as you wish.”

The dwarf stood his ground.

Cough cough!

Rashomon rolled, coughing violently.

The skeleton crumbled to dust as it went for the second kiss, which would've surely had spelled the elf's end.

Llyfed propped him up whilst Conly ran out to help Derennan and Algon. He saw a properly bloody dwarf holding a number of skeletons at bay.

The party quickly disposed of the remaining undead.

“We are here for the red ring.” Derennan reminded everyone.

“This one?” Conly asked, showing a thick, ill fitting gold ring with ruby stone on his index finger.

“Probably.”

“Let's check what the other guy had!”

Indeed, the other guy had treasure as well: a golden necklace, a copper bracelet, and a silver bracer.

They also found a chest with 4 000 electrum pieces, and another chest with 7 000 copper pieces. They also found a well preserved parchment with squiggly lines and an x on it.

“We have one more thing to do. Pass me the oil and torches.”

They threw bassos shrivelled husk into the sarcophagus, and doused him with oil. Derennan threw in the torch.

“We are done here. Let' head back.”

The party partied hard at the Circled Star Inn, their home for the last few months.

“W-we should go straight to that old guy and buy his fucking house, right now!”

“What, in the middle of the night?!”

“Yes!”

“No, I don't think that'd be a good idea.”

“Yeah, that'd be a bit weird...”

“OK, OK, we do it tomorrow then... Bartnederer! Another round!”

Willowind 14th, Fireday

Norwood Bode, a middle aged man with slivers of white, warmly received Derennan and his friends. After a bit of friendly haggling they reached a mutually satisfactory agreement: the party would pay 3 500 gold coins, and he would vacate the building within two weeks.

And what a nice home they bought themselves! A lean, two-story building, with 30 by 20 feet base. Its half-timbered construction has been infilled with concrete rendered with white stucco giving it a bright, airy appearance. The terracotta tiled roof, pebble floor, and wattlework interior walls gave that homey country ambience.

“These walls hold many stories.”

Norwood used to run an adventuring party, a successful one at that if one is to believe him.

“I see there is only six of you here. Let me tell you that twelve of us called this place home for many seasons. I hope it serves you as well. Let me show you one more thing...”

A surprise—and a welcome one, at that—the building also has a cellar with vault, protected with two iron-barred doors.

Happy with their deal, the party was ready to head to Zarifa Pilter.

She made them wait, again. For hours.

“The clown is back! And the circus grew even bigger!”

A buxom, lithe woman slithered for her greeting.

Rashomon kept his mouth shut, unlike Llyfed.

“A bald elf, with rotting teeth? Why are you even addressing me?” she fired back.

Algon opened his mouth, but alas, made the situation even worse.

“I cannot believe it! Even when you partner with humans you manage to find the biggest imbeciles?” another stab by her.

“Well, intelligence is not a trait commonly present in those that undertake dangerous delves.” Derennan the Diplomat and Businessdwarf defused the situation once more.

“Why is that child wearing what is mine?”

“Conly? Oh, he is merely safeguarding the ring for you.”

Zarifa peppered them all with casual insults and slurs as she inspected the ring. Her cold, blue eyes began sparkling as she announced that yes, this is the ring she wanted them to retrieve.

By now the elves were giving her a death stare, which only seemed to amuse her further.

“Now, could you explain the deal you proposed last time. About the treasure we recover.”

“Yes, could you state it more directly?”

Zarifa rolled her eyes so hard she spent the whole foyer spinning.

“Direct?! Direct?! You imbeciles!”

“You bring me treasure first. I give you a good offer. Direct enough?!”

“Can we get it appraised elsewhere first?”

“Where? Doral the Lazyeyed? Don't make me laugh! If you want to shop around then our deal is off!”

“But what if you give us cutthroat price...”

“Just because I despise you doesn't mean I don't like good business. I'll always give you two options: 30% of appraised value paid on hands within a week or 65% of sell price if we represent you in a bigger market. The second option takes between three to five months, but will always be a bigger payout.”

“Can you follow all these numbers? Are your little minds spinning?”

“No, not at all. You know, I'm something of a mathematician myself.” Barad the Bald spoke.

Zarifa sized him up, without her signature snark.

The party proceeded to complete the negotiations, signed a contract that could cost them their balls, and banked 1 400 gold coins for jewellery recovered from the mound.

“You seem like a learned man.” Zarifa playfully clawed Barad's arm “Tell me more about that green cloak of yours. It is quite a statement piece.”

“Oh, I'd love to. You see, when I was in Antil, I got invited to this very private party that I had to arrive costumed...“

She listened to him with the attention of lustful barbarian.

“How would you like to spend the night at the Pleasure Palace?”

“Oh, lady, I couldn't possibly afford such a fine establishment!”

“This stay would be on the House...”

“I'm in! Godspeed fellow adventurers, see you tomorrow!”

“Bah, better him than us!” elves grumbled on their way out.

“Talk to me wizard! Now that we got rid of that idiot friends of yours we can speak like learned people...”

Barad soon discovered that Zarifa is a raging sapiosexual.

He barely survived the night.

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