Attronarch's Athenaeum

A special one-shot session to celebrate the fourth birthday of our Wilderlands campaign Conquering the Barbarian Altanis. Players created characters with 400 000 XP to take them to a version of S3 Expedition to Barrier Peaks, per their request. I was happy to oblige.

My Second Wish meme by Jan whom played Grimel and Bosso. No Roads Character Sheets of Basequin and Siora are by Dreadlord, whom also played those two characters. The Emperor's Trinket written by Lord Jubalon Flux whom played Kartoo Mon and Denzil Trubb.

Preparation notes: I actually used the version from Dungeons of Dread, which are digitally enchanced and cleaned up compared to the original tournament module. The handouts are much crisper for example. We played online, using Owlbear Rodeo. I loaded the maps from Jon Pintar, since they were the most accurate, albeit in a modern style. Let me know if you stumble upon B&W VTT-friendly maps. Magical items were randomly determined, with players using their XP as a budget to buy rolls. Trading between characters was allowed. Some players received additional notes for their characters.

Adventurers

Character	Race	Class	Description
Grimel	Human	Fighter level 10	Twin brother of Bosso.
Bosso	Human	Fighter level 10	Twin brother of Grimel.
Kartoo Mon	Armour	Demon level 9	Looks like Rick Astley in absolute black plate armour, painted with a yellow smiley face on the front.
Denzil Trubb	Human	Ranger level 9	Old, wiry, his remaining hair is gathered into long silver pony-tail. He is dressed in weathered gardening clothes and weirdly smells faintly of peppercorn sauce.
Corvus	Human	Fighter level 10	A dark haired, heavily scarred man. He is clearly powerful and walks with confidence.
Uncle So	Human	Monk level 9	Has a red nose from alcohol consumption, laughing eyes, long hair tied in a bun. He moves like a panther, a drunken one...
Racrion the Swordwisperer	Elf	Thief level 12	Black hair, fair skin, green eyes. Typical elf yet seems more aloof, or rather distracted, than usual as if talking to someone in his head. Obsessed with keeping his sword sharp and clean in its magnificent sheath, an exemplary sample of elven artistry.
Arakesh Elvenfriend	Human	Assassin level 11	A slim man, sunkissed with black wavy hair and a thin beard, delicate face features, soft spoken and polite. Nothing betrays his profession and he claims to be an explorer. Fluent in Elvish, gnome and halfling. At times appear to be very observant and of keen hearing.
Emperor Kho Rimbo	Human	Magic-User level 12	Emperor Kho Rimbo the Unifier has travelled back in time to save the future.
Glorpa	Human	Fighter level 10	40 years ago Glorpa killed a kobold and has never looked back since. Stubbled, grizzled and scarred.
Patriarch Basequin of the Lady	Human	Cleric level 9	A bearded fellow of serious disposition. The most notable thing about him is his intense stare, bright clerical vestments, and his shield painted with the Weeping Lady. He has a habit of shouting, “So the LAW be written!”
Siora Qiwarin	Half-elf	Fighter level 6 / magic-user level 6 / cleric level 4	A lithe half elf maiden. Recognisable by her flame fluted helm of brilliance, and her dazzlingly ice blue eyes. At the beginning of battle she is known to usher a prayer to the Lords of LAW and cause her broadsword to burst into flames. Due to this, many call her the flame maiden. She despises Dwarves.

The Emperor's Call

Hear ye, the chosen of his Highness, the World Emperor! You, yes you, have been chosen to be the agents of His Will, the Fist of His Might, the Eye of His Providence!

Deep in Altanian wilderness Emperor's spies reported a caved gated with metal disgorging monstrosities beyond what is known to Wilderlands. Those who entered never returned.

Now it is you who must go there, before the Incompetent Overlord learns of this too.

Your expedition must find out exactly what this cave is, what is causing the monsters to come forth, who is responsible, and how to prevent future incursions. In addition, any other information regarding this mysterious locale, its strange denizens, magical devices, or unusual weaponry is highly desirable.

His Highness, The World Emperor will reward you greatly, for his empire is vast, and there is always place for a loyal vassal who knows their place.

Failure will not be tolerated.

Begone.

The Emperor's Finest

A party of twelve battle-hardened adventurers spent three weeks traversing the Altanian mountain range until they found what they were looking for—some sort of large metal construction engulfed by rock. Two doors were before them, one absolutely massive at the foot of the rock, and one smaller, some hundred or two feet above.

Adventurers had nearly a hundred magical items between them. And yet, the doors has proven to be their greatest challenge thus far.

Who's Who?

Siora drank a potion of flying and scouted the surroundings. Racrion cast Knock from scroll. Arakesh drank a potion of ethereality. As he stepped through the lower doors he screamed, for he turned corporeal. He died in spot, one third of his body hanging from the doors facing the party.

Emperor Kho Rimbo the Unifier summoned a massive Earth Elemental and ordered it to beat down on the metal doors. An hour later the doors still stood. Luckily they had means to dispel the elemental. Finally, Denzil scaled the rocky outcropping and approached top doors. They slid open, revealing a twenty by ten feet chamber with another double doors. Everything was made of unfamiliar metal.

Three hours after they have arrived the party entered. Eleven of them stuffed inside, doors closing behind. Doors before the slid open.

Stale air mixed with stench of rotting vegetation assailed their adventurers' nostrils. Before them was a dark, large square chamber. An large cylinder with two slits dominated the center. Through it the could see far to the other side, for there were bright lights in the distance.

There were many single doors of smooth metal all around them. Each had a rectangular extrusion to the right with several smaller compartments. The smallest and topmost of them were always coloured—either violet or jet black.

The chamber was a sort of junction, with large corridors leading in each cardinal direction. The party fanned out, looking for clues.

“Over here!”

West tunnel had a pile of bones, rages, and husks amid which there was a shiny object. As few adventurers approached to rummage through the rubble, a giant manta ray befall them from the ceiling. It was obliterated by eight magic missiles, and savage swings from Grimel, Bosso, and Denzil.

Shiny object was violet piece of glass. It was sleek, with rounded edges.

Many doors lined the corridor ahead. Some were open, revealing their depressive innards. Despite the alien materials, it was obvious these were some sort of living quarters. Now they were tattered and housed nothing but skeletal remains of previous inhabitants. Some of the skeletons were in hugging positions, some were outstretched, clawing at the walls, and yet others were simply dispersed.

Adventurers followed the corridor, exploring the open rooms.

And then turned into a moss-covered corridor. At the end of it four bipedal, fungal creatures stared at them. Adventurers did not wait for response—they charged. What they failed to realise is that this corridor was lined with rooms, housing many more of these creatures.

Free-for-all skirmish ensued. Barbarian brothers, Grimel and Bosso, each took one room to clean. Other fighters went in pairs. Kho-Rimbo, Uncle So, Basequin and Kartoo Mon fought in the corridor.

Warriors were making short work of vegetable-based monsters. The creatures were resilient, but otherwise no match for the adventurers. Amongst them were dog-like creatures made of thorns. They too were no match for the warriors, but did rip Kho Rimbo to shreds, saved only by intervention of others.

Basequin caste Speak with Plants in an effort to parley with survivors. He wished to extract information that would be useful to his mission. Alas, as he did so, Kartoo Mon, the sentient demonic armour, flashed him subtly with the Scarab of Insanity. The cleric went crazy, not even knowing what is going on.

Suddenly everything exploded! Most of the plantmen were incinerated. Most of the adventurers were signed but alive. The same couldn't be said about their belongings.

Standing triumphant among the remains of nearly thirty plantmen, adventurers began to rummage through the rubble. Another explosion!

That did not last long for soon there were dozens of vegemen attack from all directions! Doors swung open, corridors filled, and vegetables were everywhere.

Kho Rimbo cast lightning bolt. It did nothing. He was promptly torn to shreds by a pack of thorndogs. His death was slow and painful. Bosso wished him back to life.

Adventurers concentrated in the corridor, slaying plantmen in droves. Barbarian brothers were singing with glee. They pushed forth and forth, until there were none but men standing.

“Khm, khm.” Kartoo Mon coughed.

Everyone looked at him.

He presented his Scarab of Insanity.

And everyone descended into murderous rage.

Everyone but Racrion.

Luckily for them, Basequin and Siora were still rummaging through a chamber at the end of the corridor, so they did not witness the madness inducing scarab.

They did witness the madness it induced.

Brother slaying brother.

Corvus turning on Glorpa.

Uncle So stumbling and slapping everyone around him.

Denzil cleaving Kho Rimbo.

Racrion, amidst the madness, gulped down the potion of invisibility. He threw himself to the ground and crawled towards Siora, the only sane one amongst the crew.

Karto Mon laughed as he chucked firebaubbles around, causing explosion after explosion.

Bosso bellowed out at the realisation of having murdered his own twin brother. His heart exploded, but not before he made his final wish.

Meme by Jan.

“I WISH FOR THE AIR TO BE SUCKED OUT OF THIS PLACE!”

The smiley on Karto Mon's vantablack armour wept crimson blood.

Racrion and Siora forced Basequin to follow them, practically carrying him out.

They ran as their allies hacked each other to pieces.

They ran as explosions echoed behind them.

They ran as everything turned quiet.

They ran as oxygen became scarce.

They ran until they were out.

Character sheets and illustrations by Dreadlord.

The Emperor's Trinket

I am VERY VERY ANGRY!

I am forced to lie on the floor with the rancid, decaying body of my meatpuppet, putrefying inside my cavity. How I, the Bulwark of Gommorath and vassal-armour of the dread lord Shah Drong Dirkahl, came to this state is a tale of the perfidy of the meatbags.

I was charged with ensuring none survived their expedition into the Barrier Peaks. For three weeks I had to endure being carried among them, with their disgusting, slow passing of liquids and solids from the tops of their bodies, and out again at the lower part, filthy beings all.

We arrived at a massive tower of rock encrusted metal, a huge door large enough for one of my Lord’s flame elephants to pass through was before us, and a smaller one higher up visible from the ground. The meatbags pounded and shouted at the door, one tried to go through it by becoming a meat-ghost, only to be killed halfway through, I gave a hearty laugh at this, my task was being made easy by their own failure!

Eventually we entered through the upper door, and they began exploring; all was made of metal inside, including a round tunnel going vertically, which they ignored. I had my meatbag carry me, ensuring that we lagged behind, until I took a chance to cast a Finger of Death at their half-elf know it-all multiclasser, the shitty little she-beast shrugged it off, oh how I hate biologicals!

Onwards they shuffled, with their huffing and puffing of breath, until a strange flat monster dropped from the ceiling onto the vanguard. Sadly, it was weak and presented no real opportunity to ‘help it in its endeavours’.

Further on they discovered rooms of plant beings, humanoid and canine looking, almost as depressing as the meat versions that I was stuck with. Soon a meat and two-veg fight ensued. After a while I found my self alone with just their main cleric, and I introduced him to my little friend, the Scarab of Insanity! Much hilarity ensued as he gleefully leapt onto the brambly-monstrosities besetting my meatbag and gave them a painful hug.

The other meatbags were putting their veggies away heartily so there was no time for much subtlety. On the pretext of panic, I got my meatbag to throw a firebauble into the melee. There was swearing, but they were otherwise blissfully unaware of my true intent of wearing them down.

The fight was soon over and they insisted on pressing on. Many of them were weakened, and I reasoned Go Big or Go Back To Hell, so when the majority were gathered together, I got my meatbag to hold aloft the scarab once again, and marvellous pandemonium ensued, there was wailing, there was brother killing brother, it was glorious, until it wasn’t. One brother with his dying words cried out a wish that the very air desert the place, and I felt my meatbag’s life force begin crumpling inside me, as those around me did. As he collapsed I could just see some of the party who had been back the way, outside the mirth-circle generated by the scarab, disappear around a corner, and then I heard them find an exit which then promptly closed again. And then, all the meat was still and dead, so too not all bad on balance.

Oh how I hope a new meatbag finds me and I can carry on in my Lord’s Service, then I can truly live up to the demon-vassal creed of, “Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down!”

#Wilderlands #OneShot #SessionReport

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