Attronarch's Athenaeum

sessionreport

Adventurers

Character Race Class Description
Syd Grundy Human Ranger level 1 Tall, middle aged and scruffy looking man of the wilderness.
Jacob Vin Human Assassin level 1 Slick black hair, inconspicuous dress, youthful for his age, and of keen instincts.
Thorinda Bung Human Monk level 1 She has blonde hair done up in a tight pony tail and wears light, loose suit.
Ambros Human Cleric level 6 Follower of Aniu, Lord of Time.
Ignaeus Elf Fighter level 4 / magic-user level 5 A slightly weathered looking elf with dull blonde hair and chiseled features. Seeks wealth and knowledge.
Minako Konishi Human Monk level 3 Pretty Karakan with grace of a panther and shrewdness of a fox. Silk sash holds here loose trousers in place, while loose jacket rounds up her exotic look.

Goodgroove 6th, Airday

Ignaeus and Ambros assembled a party of six, intent on plundering the depths of Castle Yukanthur. Syd had recovered and was ready to adventure once more. Jacob, Thorinda, and Minako were all new recruits; adventurers whom had recently arrived to the backwater Ironburg.

Heinrik shared all he knew about the castle. Adventurers copied his map to the location, and then they set off in the early morning. Although Goodgroove is the first month of fall, it still felt quite like summer. Not a cloud in sight, and scalding hot.

Ruined fortress lies just four leagues northeast from Ironburg, so adventurers reached it in little bit over one watch. Then they spent half an hour to scout the surroundings before finally mustering enough courage to descend into the dungeon.

Ambros and Ignaeus, two most senior and best armoured adventurers in the party, took the lead. Spiral staircase eventually came to a landing leading straight down. A chipped and weathered stone statue faced the bottom of stairs. Upon approach large mouth formed above the statue, booming:

“WHO DARE ENTER THE CASTLE OF YUKANTHUR?!”

Party ignored it and followed the corridor leading left. Dried rivulets of blood gave credence to previous delve, albeit by other adventurers, as did the broken arrows at the far end. Moving on, they reached an illusory dead end. Ignaeus walked straight through the wall.

Adjoining chamber reeked of death. Dried gore was close to the archway leading out. Beyond it was a T-shaped junction splitting west and south. Barging through the west door led the party to giant rats feasting on kobold remains. Heroic Ignaeus darted forth and hacked all four giant rats to death. Others tried to help, but were rather ineffective.

The chamber had three exits in total. One doors to the east, through which the party came from. Two doors on the west side, one in each corner. Adventurers choose the left doors. Then spent half an hour forcing them open. Their reward was a corridor leading them to a T-shaped junction splitting towards doors and another corridor.

Another half an hour later and they forced yet another doors open. A small circular chamber, perhaps some ten feet in radius, was before them. A robed, scythe-wielding statue stood on a four inch tall plinth in the center of the chamber. Next to it was a headless skeleton dressed in rotted leather armour. On the other side of the chamber was skull. A tattered sack with silver coins was right by it.

Following another thirty minutes of discussion Ambros suggested it is not worth risking life for such a pittance. Party backed off and followed the corridor west. They turned right, then right again at new junction. This led them to yet another junction, which they theorised would go to the other side of scythe chamber. Corridor continued to another doors, which were the northwest doors of the chamber with kobold and giant rat corpses.

There were another doors further north, as of yet unexplored. Beyond them was a large chamber, easily fifty by fifty feet. Doomed ceiling rose way above the torchlight. Straight across the chamber were doors that were slightly ajar. The room itself was bereft sans for one little detail—a dead elf in the center. He was dressed in chainmail. Broadsword was next to it, as well as longbow. He didn't have any other noticeable possessions.

Adventurers carefully approached the corpse.

“Watch out!”

Syd yelled at Jacob. The assassin instinctively jump to the side, barely avoiding wombat-sized giant tick dropping from above. Initial attacks all bounced off of its thick carapace. Then Syd roared and cracked it open with few mighty swings of his battle axe. Ignaeus used the opportunity to bash through the hole, driving his broadsword straight through the insect's body. It let out a sound and collapsed.

“Agh!”

Before they even had time to wipe their weapons, another giant tick dropped down. This one hit Thorinda, nearly breaking her back. It bit her hard and begun sucking her dry. Everyone but Jacob missed, for they tried hard not to accidentally hit the monk.

Thorinda went pale and limp as tick sucked the life out of her. With her out of the way, adventurers went wild and beat down on the insect with savage glee. Ambros delivered the killing blow, smashing its peanut-sized brain with his heavy mace. They rolled the carcass off the Thorinda. She was alive but in a rather poor state.

Inspecting elven corpse confirmed two things. First, he was most definitely the victim of giant ticks—or something else that sucks blood. Second, he was liberated of his possessions. His belt was cut, and his coin purse and backpack were nowhere to be found.

Adventurers moved north, past the open doors. They followed a long corridor until they reach a junction splitting east and south. East led forward fifty feet before turning right. South led hundred feet before reaching doors and turning right. The latter looped back to the small entry chamber behind the illusory wall.

“Listen!”

Minako heard rapidly incoming squishy sounds—like wet flesh slapping against cold flagstones. Adventurers braced themselves and faced north.

A disgusting monstrosity with glistening, elongated tubular body with three dozen tentacle-like appendages charged them. It slapped Syd and Jacob many times. The two hadn't felt any pain. Soon they couldn't feel anything at all. Their muscles contracted and they were completely unable to move.

Ignaeus slashed wildly at the monster. He made a deep gash along its right flank. The monster oozed foul smelling ichor. Minako cartwheeled toward the monster. She formed her palm like holding a single drop of water. Moment before striking the monster between its frontal eyes, she tensed the side of her palm.

Hit landed with a thud. She back flipped as the monster burst open, covering Ignaeus, Syd, and Jacob with foul smelling ichor. Cleric and elf picked up the paralysed duo. Party fled the dungeon, barely avoiding several stirges that were attracted to foul excrement.

They found a safe nook some twenty minutes south of Castle Yukanthur and made a cold camp there until ranger and assassin were able to move again. Given it was night already, the party decided to wait for sunlight before traveling to Ironburg.

On his night watch, Ignaeus spotted a band of five dwarves singing and working by the entrance of Castle Yukanthur. From afar it seemed like they were clearing up the rubble and taking some of it with them.

Adventurers returned to Ironburg on noon of Goodgroove 7th.

Empty handed.

For how long can Ambros keep this gang fed, watered and dressed before being sucked dry himself?

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Adventurers

Character Race Class Description
Syd Grundy Human Ranger level 1 Tall, middle aged and scruffy looking man of the wilderness.
Ambros Human Cleric level 6 Follower of Aniu, Lord of Time.
Ignaeus Elf Fighter level 4 / magic-user level 5 A slightly weathered looking elf with dull blonde hair and chiseled features. Seeks wealth and knowledge.
Foxglove Human Thief level 6 A willowy human, long hair ties in a pony tail, looks a bit dangerous and dainty at the same time.
Tikatu Human Druid level 4 A dirty little man with dark and dirty skin, wearing loincloth with no back. “What will be, will be” is his favourite aphorism.
Kenso San Human Fighter level 3 An arrogant and self-assured sellsword wandering Wilderlands to prove he can best anyone.

Harvestime 8th, Airday

Ignaeus listened with bathed breath. An elven mating tune softly reverberated from the tunnel the party had arrived from minutes ago.

Foxglove, Nifft, Sieghart, Thelaryn and Ambros were deeper west, down the wide tunnel plugged with with hardened webs. There they were working on slashing through an open wedge, trying to reach two spiderfolk they had previously paralysed.

Ignaeus and the others were more worried about the tune. Doubly so since just hundred feet eastwards was a massive spiderpolis, hanging suspended in large cave. It was teeming with life. Life that adventurers did not want to spot them.

Thus, brave Ignaeus led the way down the tunnel north. He was soon stopped by a whispering voice others could not understand at all. This went on for some time, with elf pausing the conversation at moments to summarise to his allies what is being discussed.

This voice from darkness was an “elf cousin” living in the Woelands. They offered a deal of “mutual benefit.” They would catch three creatures of the Woelands that the party needs, and in exchange the adventurers would tell them where do tunnels around the Spiderpolis lead to.

Unwilling to aggravate the voice from darkness, party offered to return and collaborate a bit later. After all, they had two living specimen—or soon at least, once they cut them loose from the webbing—and two dead specimen.

Voice from the darkness agreed.

Adventurers took nearly an hour to cut through hardened webs that two spidermen were paralysed in. The monsters' bodies were roughly hobbit sized. They had six appendages, all double jointed. Their heads were akin to squished chubby human baby with protruding mandibles on the lower side, and two large yellowish eyes. They were covered with spindly hair.

Paralysed and stiff, they were not particularly heavy, so each was carried by a single adventurer. By the time they arrived in the chamber with spiral staircase leading up, the effects of paralysation had worn off. Creatures began screaming and shrilling, but were quickly wrestled, subdued, tied and sacked.

Adventurers ascended one by one. Open, nearly freestanding spiral staircase led upwards for sixty or so feet, before entering the ceiling and leading into the dungeon above. Ambros was first to go up, in order to check if there were any surprises. Kenso was last to go. Before he was able to enter the ceiling he was struck by two bolts. He felt stinging pain, and then he tumbled, asleep.

Sensing that something is off, Ignaeus returned, only to see Kenso sleeping on the stairwell. He quickly dragged him up and then slapped him awake.

Now everyone wast stuffed in a dungeon chamber some twenty by teen feet. Listening at the only doors leading out did not reveal much beyond a low, rumbling cacophony of speech. Adventurers forced the doors open, and charged out, turning hard left.

Alas! There was nothing that way. But now they could all hear maddening gibbering at the highest volume. Syd and Kenso were flabbergasted by the noise. Ambros and Ignaeus were driven to mad rage, seeking the source of it.

And they did not have to search far. Just behind them, at the archway leading into the circular chamber, a dark mass covered with eyes and mouths blobbed. It chittered, it howled, it gibbered, it reverberated throughout. Cleric and elf rushed it, slashing, failing to injure it.

The noise continued, provoking Tikatu. Ignaeus and Foxglove assaulted allies in their confusion, wounding Ambros and Kenso. Abomination latched one mouth to Ignaeus. Next round Kenso attacked and ally, Ambros, Foxglove and Syd were driven to mad rage, and Ignaeus had a total of three mouths attached to him.

Great tragedy stuck the following round. Syd and Tikatu were aggravated greatly, rushing to vanquish the monster, Ambros and Ignaeus were baffled and too confounded to act, while Foxglove backstabbed an ally in his confusion. The thief slashed Syd's neck while the ranger tried to pass him. He stumbled to the ground, gurgling blood. Four mouths were now attached to Ignaeus, chewing him up.

As the maddening mouthing continued, Tikatu and Ignaeus were stupefied, but Kenso and Ambros managed to separate the elf from the monsters many mouths. Alas, the abominable mass soon had two mouth reattached to Ignaeus. The elf was being chewed alive.

Thelaryn, Nifft, and Sieghart rushed to grab dying Syd. They bandaged his wound and dragged him eastwards, heading towards the dungeon exit. They didn't really care if the ranger was alive or not, for as long as Ambros lives, anyone can be brought back to life.

Kenso, Tikatu, and Ignaeus were flabbergasted once more, unable to act cohesively, while Foxglove was aggravated so much he began throwing daggers into melee, not caring whom he hits. One mouth attached to Ambros. Next round both Kenso and Ambros assaulted their allies.

By this time the adventurers had stuck the monstrosity many times, but failed to do significant damage. All of them were wounded, some quite badly, mostly from hurting each other. The abomination gnawed at their sanity as well as their flesh. It was time to flee, and they knew it.

They all managed to break away, except poor Tikatu. Five mouth attached to him, chewing and biting off pygmy's foul but tasty flesh. Kenso, whom had fled the furthest, suddenly turned around and attacked Ambros. Cleric failed at wrestling him down. Kenso pulled his broadsword with great speed, and nearly cut off Ambros's head.

Many mouths chattered and chittered, baffling Kenso, Ambros, and Ignaeus. They were forced to watch as Tikatu was pulled underneath the mass. They were forced to listen pygmy's desperate screams as he was eaten alive by dozens of tiny mouths.

Kenso remained stupefied, Ignaeus struck Foxglove, and abomination caught up, leaving a bloody trail of crying Tikatu, attaching two mouths to the thief. Foxglove was driven mad, throwing himself at the monster, slashing across its thick, viscous surface. Ignaeus stood there, dumbly. Three more mouths attached to Foxglove.

Ambros, Ignaeus, and Kenso fled as Foxglove's screams and pleas echoed behind them.

Harvestime 10th, Spiritday

Survivors—Ambros, Ignaeus, Syd (now with a nice scar), Sieghart, Nifft, Thelaryn, and Kenso—returned to Ironburg by noon. Old Crus was delighted by the specimen they had brought him. As promised, he allowed Ignaeus access to his library of third level spells.

Elf understood the following spells: rope trick, water breathing, invisibility with ten foot radius, and fire ball.

Adventurers did not celebrate.

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Adventurers

Character Race Class Description
Kho Rimbo Human Magic-user level 3 A knife throwing wizard extraordinaire. Covered in ritual knife scars. Cuts himself whilst casting. Prone to being sarcastic.
Jacob Vin Human Assassin level 1 Slick black hair, inconspicuous dress, youthful for his age, and of keen instincts.

Hysterium

From delirious mind of Kho Rimbo. Written by his player, Brulligrum.

Wizard extraordinaire Kho Rimbo turned on his heel and vacated the Hog's Head tavern. He left behind the adulation of the folk of Ironburg and bizarrely found himself in a cave. Last autumns leaves fluttered and rustled past his feet, ushered on a slight breeze that still carried the sound of Father Ambros' baritone singing

“For he's a jolly good fellow.”

“And so say all of us” finished a voice nearby.

Kho realised he was not alone.

A swerve man stood at his side, pale skinned and sporting a widow's peak of swept back glossy black hair.

“That looks sore” said the man, motioning with one finger towards Kho's midriff. Kho glanced down and noticed a quivers worth of arrows protruding from his body. Plucking them free they turned to ink quills as they fell, reminding Kho he was meant to be elsewhere. At old Crus', copying recipes from his cookbook, the cranky old chef would be angry if he was late.

Realising his lack of manners Kho introduced himself to his companion giving a flamboyant exaggerated bow.

“Vin” responded the man.

“Jacob Vin, at your service”

“Well master Vin” asserted Kho

“We best set off post-haste lest we are sure to be late.”

“As you like” replied Vin.

Together the strode deeper into the caves, needing no more light than the glow emanating from their bodies to show the way.

Two paths forward soon became apparent. The first, an uninviting sinkhole, was rejected in favour of a ledge that led down to a forest of rock pillars. Whilst passing amongst the stone trunks Kho admitted to Jacob that he always had a problem telling which was which when it came to identifying stalagmites and stalactites.

“It's easy” assured Jacob Vin.

“You've just got to remember that tights always come down” he continued with an overfamiliar nudge and salacious wink.

“I defer to your mastery of geology” replied Rimbo, sarcastic.

“And ladies undergarments” Jacob offered followed by another nudge. “Indeed” sighed Kho Rimbo.

Further exploration uncovered a bear deep in slumber. The odd couple thought it prudent to leave it to its dreams of honey pots and homely caves and so moved on.

In a cave like cyst of milky flowstone they came upon a deep pool of crystal water. The surface refused to show Jacobs reflection, whilst Kho's shimmering twin was sneering and rude.

“You will always be a coward” it accused.

“Because you are incapable of being brave.”

At this statement Jacob raised a questioning eyebrow in Kho's direction.

“Caution is not cowardice” defended the slighted mage.

The slanderous reflection began to sink into the pool, face smug and condescending. Incensed Kho gave chase. Diving into the water and swimming deep until his lungs felt fit to burst, but when caught the mirage flowed between his throttling fingers and dissipated. Bursting back to the surface, gulping for air, he clambered from the pool. Only to discover he was bone dry.

“How peculiar” exclaimed Kho.

“Agreed” replied Jacob scratching his chin.

Onwards they forged. Through a collapsed floor. Via rappel and rope they descended deep beneath the earth, leaving behind the natural caves and finding themselves in in a huge circular chamber hewn by hand rather than nature. Here were old bones, clad in bracelets of rusted iron, manacled both hand and foot. The majority lay before an imposing set of double doors. Seams sealed in concrete, surface scarred by scratching fingers. Jacob prowled the chambers circumference like a sleek black cat whilst Kho, trusty crowbar in hand, chipped away, releasing the door from its bonds. The work done, and with shoulders to the job, they forced egress from the chamber. Jacobs nose wrinkled at the ancient earthy waft from beyond, undaunted, Kho was eager to push on. He had no inclination to feel old Crus' ladle upside of his head, a very likely prospect if he was late. Furthermore today was the day when the old Crotchety chef had promised to teach him the secret of Phantasmal force flan.

The chambers beyond were old. Older even than the longest beards of the most ancient dwarven ancestors. The walls of ununiformed polygonal blocks fitted together with impossible precision. Mosaiced side passages led to doors sealed with rusted padlocks, but the subjects depicted on the walls kept them from these paths.

Their route eventually opened into a long gallery, its high tessellated walls depicting a foul world where wormish overlords ruled over men. As they traversed the passage the mosaics seem to squirm and wriggle in step with the travellers, although when Kho pointed this out to Jacob he claimed it was not so. Down broad steps they trod and to doors they were led. Barred from without. Meant to keep something within. Jacob preached caution, Kho flung the bars free like a man driven, he was desperate to get to old Crus' house as well as eager to leave behind the gallery of crawling worms.

Beyond was a grand circular chamber. Its centre a gaping pit. Narrow ledges traversed the the chambers circumference meeting at a twisted chimeric statue of gross proportion. Its slitted gaze fell upon the depths below its clawed feet. A flight of narrow steps led down to a floor carpeted with the husks of men, giant insects and the dusty, papery, caste of an enormous serpent. Across this charnel jumble a the shadowed outline of a passage was just visible.

After a cursory search of the upper works and a brief, cautious, examination of the statue, they chose to descend the narrow steps, tense with trepidation. But the danger did not come from below as expected. The vile statue, its mouth stretched to a gaping maw vomited forth a scorpion of huge proportion. clacking claws heralded its arrival and in turn spurred the explorers into action. They ran. Fled for the dubious safety of the darkened passage, across the floor of snagging, grasping, corpses, and away from the monstrosity disgorged from the gullet of the statue.

Down the passage they sped without heed, dreading to hear the chitinous tip tap of pursuit. An ill chosen turn and they blundered into a dead end chamber, walls a gallery of wormish vileness. Hastily backtracking they chose differently, blindly fleeing in fear of snapping pincers. Panting, they finally tumbled into another great passageway. Like unto its predecessor depicting the vileness of squirming wormdom, a world where worms ruled over man. A door in the opposite wall mirrored the position of the passage through which they stumbled. To their right the grand gallery was swallowed by pitch darkness. To their left the passage terminated in menacing, looming statue. It was a thing of no sane aspect, of alien outline. A contorted mass of hooked claws, tentacles and beaks. A twisted spawn spat from the delirious minds of the insane. Worse still Kho was sure that it moved. Jacob did not notice this but was spooked enough to go with Kho's urgings to ignore both door and statue and hastily move on.

Accompanied by a parade of bloated worms and tortured men they pushed along the passage, its path ever leading.

After an hour, perhaps ten, a day even, the journey came to an end at a great archway. Before the gaping portal lay a large pool, free of liquid, but marred with the tidemark of old dry blood, its bottom filled with russet cracked flakes. Kho shuddered at the thought that it would take the blood of hundreds to fill such a pool, and for a moment, just a brief figment of his overworked imagination, he saw the pool full to capacity. Within, the bloated forms of giant worms. Eager to move on he led the way through the archway.

Beyond they found double doors, tall, cast of iron, buckled from within as if something of ridiculous strength had sought exit. Despite their ominous aspect the doors provided the only way forward. Kho was frantic to push on. He was already late.

No doubt Heinrik had already stoked the ovens and laid out fresh aprons for the days baking at Crus' home.

The squealing of the iron doors, moved by back breaking labour, heralded their entrance. Another vast circular chamber, like the previous housing a great pit at its centre, only this one led to a pitch black void. Multiple statues ringed the pit. Each a perfect likeness of Kho Rimbo. Whilst this stirred Jacobs interest, Kho had no time for his effigies. Instead he was focused on a stairway of sorts that descended into the pit, no more than iron bars driven into its sides and corkscrewing precariously into the abyss. Without second thought he began to descend, calling to Jacob as he went.

“Hurry! Hurry! I am going to be late!”

Despite his lack of enthusiasm for the endeavour, Jacob reluctantly gave chase.

Down they spiralled, for how long they could not tell, but into the very bowels of the earth they must of travelled, perhaps deeper. It took a mutiny from Jacob to turn them back, Kho returned only reluctantly. The journey up took only a fraction of the time of the descent.

Back up top they were flummoxed as to a way forward until Jacob recalled the door at the end of the long passage. So back they headed. Under the fanged great arch, past the pool filled with sloshing blood. Along the squirming passage and back to the hellspawned statue and its adjacent door.

After numerous failed attempts Jacob breached the door and disappeared into the room beyond. Kho remained outside, attentive to the statue.

“It's a library” Jacob called out.

Kho barely heard, he was sure the statue was moving, shifting ever so slightly.

“Going to check a few books” came the voice, unheard by Kho.

The statue was slithering into a parody of life, hooked claws groping, tentacles probing, sharp beaks snipping and snapping.

“The pages are all blank” called Jacob no doubt scratching his chin confounded.

Finally Kho found a key to unlock the terror that had seized him.

“Run you fool!” he shrieked.

“Run! Run! the statue is upon us!”

Jacob burst from the room, book under arm, dagger in hand. He glanced anxiously to the statue then sidelong at Kho Rimbo.

“Are you all right lad?” he inquired.

“Get back! Get back!” Rimbo begged.

“Are you addled of the brain? Its just a statue! Look!”

And Jacob stepped towards the statue.

Kho watched in horror as he walked into the groping grasp where he was promptly eviscerated by claws and beaks.

It was all too much. Kho turned tail and ran. Screaming as he went.

The passage around him transformed into organic matter, like being inside an undulating intestine. Behind him a Phantasmagorical host gave chase, baying for blood.

The spawn tumbling on squirming appendages. Jacob flopping, trailing innards and gore. Father Ambros swinging an oversized gavel of justice. Rall Kyle, the landlady of the Hog's Head tavern, the one armed priest. Even Old Crus with ladle flailing, and countless squirming worms.

Feet fleet with fear, he ran. And ran. Ran back to the circular chamber, where the great abyss was now a giant sucking maw. Without stopping he leapt in. Eyes tightly shut.

Kho awoke back in the secret enclosure Tikatu had grown for him. He felt even weaker than before, his body soaked in cold sweat and fears piss. Nearby stood a man. A swerve fellow, sporting a widows peak of swept back glossy black hair. He had a book under one arm.

“Vin?” croaked Kho Rimbo

“Jacob Vin??”

“At your service” replied the man with a cheeky wink.

Mind made flesh

As told by Jacob Vin. Written by his player, Lord Jubalon Flux.

Jacob Vin was perplexed, he hated to be perplexed. He had been resting, ready to take on his first proper ‘job’ when suddenly he found himself in a cave. Next to him was a badly scarred and clearly unwell man who said he was a magic user named Kho Rimbo. He centred himself by repeating the guild mantra for such unexpected circumstances: Be Shaken, Not Stirred.

Slicking his black hair back into place he nodded to Kho Rimbo, who seemed to be equally bemused by this turn of events, and the pair began exploring.

They were in a small cave system. In one cavern they sound a sinkhole, and in another a clear pool of water that was fed from above via said sinkhole. The water shown no reflection when Jacob peered in, unusually for him despite the affliction of his birth. Kho Rimbo’s reflection appeared as normal, except it spoke to him and berated him for cowardice, which he vehemently denied.

Kho Rimbo insisted on exploring the pool and so, rope around his middle, dived deep; when he returned he reported nothing of note until Jacob pointed out that he was bone dry!

The duo then crept to a passageway they had spotted earlier while carefully avoiding a sleeping bear. This new route soon became rough stairs which lead to another sinkhole.

“Down, we should go down!”, argued Kho Rimbo. With no better options Jacob tied his rope to a stalagmite and they lowered themselves down into what was clearly a constructed circular chamber.

There was rubble strewn about and under it crushed humanoid skeletons. On one side there was a partially constructed corridor, and to the north a pair of massive reinforced double doors, with the gap between them sealed with a concrete-like substance.

Four intact skeletons lay in front of the door, they looked like they had spent their last few hours beating to get out. Jacob was quick to note that all showed signed of having been shacked and manacled in life. Kho Rimbo in his feverish haste soon crowbarred the concrete out, and the pair found the doors swung open with almost an eagerness to usher them on.

Beyond was a small area of rooms walled with beautifully hewn stone. Leading off from the first room were two doors each set with a pair of rusted padlocks. The alcoves each were set in contained marvellously ornate mosaics showing increasingly violently scenes of humans being subjugated and tormented by vast and malevolent worm-beings.

Ignoring both of the doors on the grounds of prudence the pair followed a long tunnel to the north-west eventually finding themselves in a lengthy, tall hallway. It was a dead end to their east, but decorated with more worm-being related mosaics, these seemingly even more grisly. To their north was a narrow staircase down, and to the west, at the far end, a set of wide stairs leading down, which ended at a north/south corridor, and a wide double-doors carefully barred on the side they could see.

Trying the corridors showed that each went a quarter-turn around what was probably a circular chamber of considerable size. Each quarter-turn ended with another barred door leading into the presumed chamber.

Entering the chamber it was clear that it had been used as a gladiatorial combat arena. There was a walkway down, presumably for combatants, an archway into the arena at its floor level from somewhere deeper in to complex. Presiding over all of this was a monstrous statue, with the look of an ogre, except for its segmented legs and dragonfly-like wings.

Jacob and Kho Rimbo bravely entered the arena and made to investigate the tunnel. As they were just about to enter it Kho Rimbo screamed that he had seen the statue distend its jaw and vomit forth a giant scorpion. He ran and Jacob followed him, having glimpsed the statue’s motion and heard the thump as the beast had landed.

After a short run, helter-skelter through more passages and rooms, they found themselves in a massive vaulted hall. At the east end, on a dais, was another huge statue, this one seemed to consist of a mass of tongues, tentacles, and other writhing protuberances that Jacob did not want to think too closely about.

There was a door to the north which the pair ignored for the time being, choosing to check the west end of the hall, away from the statue which Kho Rimbo swore he saw twitch. In the floor at the far end there was a sunken pit, crusted with blood. Jacob’s stomach gave an unhelpful rumble at the thought of it full of blood, and he pushed that thought away.

Beyond that gruesome receptacle was another circular room, accessible via huge metal doors, all of which showed signs of having had massive violence inflicted on them from within room beyond.

This room contained a massive circular pit with a stairway circling down into the dark carved into its walls. This was the most normal thing about the room noted Jacob. At each of the cardinal points, looking pitward, were two life-sized carving of Kho Rimbo, and in an alcove to the east a giant statue of the wizard.

Jacob, who as part of his training had been microdosing with all kinds of interesting substances for months began to suspect that reality was more than a bit subjective here, wherever here turned out to be.

Kho Rimbo then beseeched his companion to accompany him down the staircase, and so they trudged down and down for half an hour day, got bored of never seeing the bottom and trudged back up to the top. By this time Kho Rimbo’s mind seemed to fraying a little, he kept muttering about tossing himself off.

And so they found themselves back at the blasphemous blob statue. Kho Rimbo kept watch on it while Jacob forced the door they had seen earlier. Beyond the door was a large library, Jacob looked at some of the book, all blank. He had just stuffed one in his backpack when he heard a high-pitched scream and raced out to see Kho Rimbo barrelling east screaming the statue was coming to life. Dear reader it was not.

Jacob raced after the wizard now understanding his mutterings of earlier. He arrived at the edge of the pit just in time to see Kho Rimbo disappearing down into the dark. And then…

Jacob Vin was perplexed, he hated to be perplexed. He started awake next to Kho Rimbo who was lying feverish on a rough bed in the centre of a sealed woodland dwelling of some kind. He kept repeating a name that sounded like Pikatchu, from the sound of it some kind of diminutive woodland creature or sprite who he imagined had promised to bring him food.

The poor man was in a wretched state and Jacob thought it would be a mercy to end him while he was unaware. What stopped him was that he did not want the guild to find out that he was a softie who did ‘freebies’.

It was then that Jacob noticed the book he had taken was real. He got it out of his pack and found it contained a map showing the location of the place he and Kho Rimbo had been, and in that moment he knew in his cold killer’s heart that it was truly a real place.

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Adventurers

Character Race Class Description
Sieghart Totschinder Human Fighter level 1 Soldier of fortune hailing from the City-State of the Invincible Overlord. Impoverished into desperation.
Nifft Human Thief level 2 A spendthrifty drifter, mutt, and vagrant. Lanky, tall, dark eyed and dark haired, with perennial little smirk matching his bent nose.
Thelaryn Human Magic-user level 1 Well groomed and well dressed Mage of the Order blessed with looks, charm, cleverness, agility, and fitness. And yet, people find him slightly suspicious.
Ambros Human Cleric level 6 Follower of Aniu, Lord of Time.
Ignaeus Elf Fighter level 4 / magic-user level 5 A slightly weathered looking elf with dull blonde hair and chiseled features. Seeks wealth and knowledge.
Foxglove Human Thief level 6 A willowy human, long hair ties in a pony tail, looks a bit dangerous and dainty at the same time.
Syd Grundy Human Ranger level 1 Tall, middle aged and scruffy looking man of the wilderness.
Tikatu Human Druid level 4 A dirty little man with dark and dirty skin, wearing loincloth with no back. “What will be, will be” is his favourite aphorism.
Kenso San Human Fighter level 3 An arrogant and self-assured sellsword wandering Wilderlands to prove he can best anyone.

Harvestime 8th, Airday

A party of nine adventurers and one linkboy descended down the pit atop the Midnight Goddess Hills. It was Ignaeus whom brought them here, for he made a wicked deal with Old Crus. The Wizard would teach him third level spells if the elf would bring him three living specimens from the Woelands.

Dungeon beneath the circle of shattered dolmens was the closest, as well as most familiar, to the adventurers. Hence, they returned to the spider-infested place once more. Like before, the antechamber was filled with blue, cinnamon and copper smelling mist.

Foxglove navigated the chamber and stuffed rolled bedrolls into the dragon-mouth's nostrils. Within half an hour the mist dissipated. More experienced adventurers warned juniors of three pit traps in the chamber. The party successfully navigated the chamber and exited into the long corridor.

This time they decided to head right, then turn left, then straight into the wide corridor leading to another long corridor. Kenso led the way, with big and confident strides. Ignaeus flanked him, while Ambros and linkboy Oriel were right behind them.

All four fell down hereto unknown pit trap. A nasty crack could be heard as Oriel snapped his neck. Other three adventurers were not particularly hurt—besides the bruised egos, that is. Others threw down the rope and helped them out.

The corridor before them was 120 feet long. There was an archway on the right hand side every thirty feet. Second and third archways emanated sickly pale green light.

“Careful...”

Based on their previous experience, adventurers made an educated guess that wicked spider-like monstrosity might lair in either, or both, of those chambers. Although Ambros was always able to turn them, adventurers did not have any magical weapons to actually injure the monsters.

First chamber to the right was empty.

Second chamber was filled with sickly green webs from bottom to the ceiling. Ambros uttered the holy words, resulting with webs shaking from activity. Ignaeus entered and blasted with wand of paralysation, borrowed to him by Old Crus. Webs continued to shake and jiggle.

Third chamber was mostly empty. There were few tattered webs here and there.

Seeing that the monster is not leaving the webs, and well aware of the fact they cannot injure it, the adventurers continue down the corridor. They eventually reached a dead end in a form of round, domed chamber. They passed bloated wooden doors prior to the terminus. Kenso forced them open, revealing a small chamber with spiral staircase leading further down.

Floor of the domed chamber was littered with broken masonry, statuary, and other oddments. Plaster that used to cover the walls and the ceiling had mostly peeled and flaked away. What little remained of it looked like it might have once depicted a natural vista.

Thoroughly searching the chamber revealed secret doors to the northeast. Foxglove discovered that concealed handle was trapped with a poisoned needle. He found a way to apply pressure to it without getting pricked.

Opening the secret doors revealed a curious chamber. Air was noticeably drier, staler, and colder. A thin layer of dust covered every visible surface, including a large cylinder of ice dominating the northeast corner.

The cylinder was roughly eight feet in diameter and ten feet in height. Foxglove wiped off a little bit of dust from the cylinder. Behind the thick sheet of ice was a black, oily mass. The light did not penetrate it. Upon closer inspection it became obvious that the mass was not perfectly smooth—it had bulgy and bubbly surface, encased with ice.

Unsure what to do, adventurers poured military oil over the ice, set it on fire, and then left. They backtracked to the chamber with spiral staircase and begun their descent. The steps were broad enough for two adventurers to advance side by side.

After three full turns, the stairs broke up into the ceiling of a large cavern. From then on, the stairs continued down, freestanding and without any handrails. Shining the bottom with bullseye lantern revealed two large spiders. Adventurers at the front retreated upstairs to discuss and plan.

Ignaeus led the second descent. He blasted the spiders with his wand of paralysation. Then everyone quickly descended in a single file to minimise the risks of being knocked off the stairs.

Once on the ground of the cave, the party realised these were not large spiders, but arachnid-like humanoids Ambros, Foxglove, and Ignaeus have met a year or so ago on the upper level, close to the entrance. Tikatu and Syd inspected the wounds. Clean slashes and punctures, most likely by weapons.

Large cave, some fifty by thirty feet and sixty feet at it highest point, had two exits on the east side. One leading north was dark and filled with stalactites and stalagmites. One leading south was wider, opening up into adjacent cave. There was some greenish light and music-like sound coming from the latter.

Adventurers went south, advancing slowly by carefully. They entered a junction-like cave splitting in four directions. Further south was a narrow tunnel. To the east was a vast cavern, nearly two hundred feet in diameter. The cavern was illuminated by a giant sphere of solid web, suspended in the center by strings of webs thick as towers defending the City-State of the Invincible Overlord.

The sphere was over one hundred feet in diameter, its surface dotted with hundreds of small, hexagonal openings. Upper part of the sphere was slightly less concave, and had several low structures and squat towers protruding from the webbing. Green light emanated from the towers and openings. Spiders crawling everywhere, except on top, where they walked upright.

Cavern floor beneath the sphere was littered with refuse and junk.

Adventurers turned off their light and switched to whispering.

Broad tunnel leading to the west continue for some sixty feet until it was completely plugged with thick webbing. There was a vertical slit in the plug, roughly in the center. A small ball of web emanating green light was placed by it. Two spiderpeople were visible inside the slit, vomiting on webs they were pulling out of their bottoms.

The party approached them, and then Ignaeus paralysed them with his wand. Kenso, Ambros, Sieghart, and Syd came all the way to the slit. Upon closer inspection, the creatures were almost identical to the two slain creatures they had just passed. Sieghart took the webbed ball holding gooey mass emanating light and stuck it to his shoulder.

“These will be two out of three Ignaeus needs.”

“But how do we take them out?”

As adventurers discussed, Ignaeus heard a familiar tune being whistled, coming from the north cave they came out of moments ago. It was an elven mating tune.

Will Ignaeus answer the call of love?

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Adventurers

Character Race Class Description
Tikatu Human Druid level 4 A dirty little man with dark and dirty skin, wearing loincloth with no back. “What will be, will be” is his favourite aphorism.
Kho Rimbo Human Magic-user level 3 A knife throwing wizard extraordinaire. Covered in ritual knife scars. Cuts himself whilst casting. Prone to being sarcastic.
Kenso San Human Fighter level 3 An arrogant and self-assured sellsword wandering Wilderlands to prove he can best anyone.
Heinrik Human Magic-user level 1 Muscular mage with short blonde hair and piercing blue eyes.
Sieghart Totschinder Human Fighter level 1 Soldier of fortune hailing from the City-State of the Invincible Overlord. Impoverished into desperation.
Nifft Human Thief level 1 A spendthrifty drifter, mutt, and vagrant. Lanky, tall, dark eyed and dark haired, with perennial little smirk matching his bent nose.

Harvestime 1st, Airday

There it was, a dilapidated ruin of once impressive fortification. Four towers and one gatehouse, now broken and moss-covered. Castle Yukanthur, the final have of the wizard it has been named after. The castle rested on the north-west slope of the Midnight Goddess Hills, overlooking a marshy area to the north.

Heinrik led the adventurers here after he had learned about the location from Old Crus, a venerable Wizard whom had come to favour the young muscle-bound magic-user. Centuries ago Crus was an adventurer too. He offered Heinrik a map leading to an old site he never got to visit—Castle Yukanthur—in return for the right to pick some of the magical treasure adventurers might recover.

Tikatu and Kho Rimbo joined Heinrik on this expedition. They hired three more adventurers who had just arrived to the backwater village known as Ironburg. Kenso San, a warrior from Kingdom of Karak, Sieghart Totschinder, a mercenary from City-State of the Invincible Overlord, and Nifft, a smirking apprentice from who knows where.

Adventurers approached the ruin from south, meaning they came from above. Castle Yukanthur was on a slightly elevated area. Walls were clearly damaged by siege equipment as well as magical artillery. There were numerous cracks, in essence making it possible to enter from whichever side.

Surveying the surroundings revealed a cave mouth of the east side, roughly twenty feet below the castle ruin. Natural tunnel was blocked by a large boulder, which was obviously jammed in. Adventurers decided it'd be best to ignore it for now.

Well to the north-west was slightly more interesting. Completely overgrown, and forty feet below the ruins, it was difficult to spot it among the trees and overgrowth. Insides were overgrown with lichen and slippery moss. Nifft descended a hundred feet—that was as much rope as they had—without reaching the bottom. He could hear running water beneath.

Finally, the party had gathered sufficient courage to approach the ruins themselves. North side suffered more devastation than other sides of the castle. Towers were almost entirely destroyed. Second level was nothing but rubble. Adventurers snuck in through the ruined north-west tower.

Then Nifft climbed on the second level, and threw down the rope to others. Upper level, or rather, what was left of it, was nothing but rubble. Any valuables that might have been here have been plundered decades ago. The only notable thing was a rusted ballista on top of the south-west tower. South-east tower led them down, back to the ground level, and into the gatehouse.

We shall not go into details of adventurers taking half an hour to break open a single, bloated, but stuck doors. Gatehouse was filled with rubble, but everything was obviously arranged into neat piles. There were spent torches in one corners, as well as bent shovels and pickaxes. Doors leading to south-west tower were ajar.

Peeking in revealed that this tower had spiral staircase leading down. Rubble was cleaned, making it possible to access the aforementioned stairs. Moreover, someone constructed an archway out of the rubble, reinforcing the staircase access. Adventurers grinned, clapped their hands, formed a marching order, and descended.

It was a long descent, going round and round, until they finally reached a landing turning right, a then leading them further down in a straight line. They could see a stone statue of a warrior just at the edge of their bullseye lantern light. It looked chipped and damaged.

Kenso approached first. Mouth formed above the statue.

“Who dare enter the castle of Yukanthur?!” it uttered loudly and vanished.

Adventurers descended. Statue remained quiet. The corridor turned left, fifty feet straight, and then left again, into dead end. Surprised by this, everyone spread out to seek secret doors.

Suddenly a hail of arrows came from the south wall. Kho Rimbo slumped to the ground, four arrows sticking from him. Heinrik dropped like a sack of rocks, with two arrows jutting out as antennae from him.

Adventurers were now confused. South wall looked just like wall. There was no obvious trap or holes, nor slits. Kenso yelled banzai and charged straight at the well. He stepped right through and into a chamber some twenty by thirty feet. He ran straight into a group of six horned bipedal dogs holding shortbows.

Kenso swung his sword.

Three kobold heads fell down to the ground.

Nifft, also wounded by arrows, crawled back to safety, behind almighty Sieghart. Tikatu and Sieghart joined Kenso. Remaining three kobolds were promptly slain, but not before one of them managed to cut the Karakan swordsman quite deep.

Nifft and Tikatu checked in on the downed magic-users, while Sieghart and Kenso explored the corridor going south. It led to a junction which split west towards doors and south to another bend east.

Both Kho Rimbo and Heinrik survived their ordeal, but were now in quite bad shape. Both refused to abandon the expedition, and opted to follow the party in the background. Party bunched up at the junction, with few of the fighters investigating the closed doors.

Doors opened, and a gang of six kobolds unleashed a volley of arrows. Kho Rimbo added one more arrows to those already lodged in him. He went down, hard. Tikatu was hit with two arrows, and Kenso was hit by one arrow.

Sieghart and Kenso barreled into the chamber, slaying three kobolds. Sieghart put aside his one-handed warhammer, and took out his might morningstar. Then he proceeded to completely crush the kobold leader barking orders. Little beastman died with a yelp. It was turned into nothing but goo. Kenso killed others.

Heinrik limped in, dagger in each hand. He was promptly gutted by a kobold hiding behind the doors. Small beastman drove its shortwsord deep into the belly of muscled medium. Alas, no amount of abs could stop pointy steel.

Adventurers killed all the surviving kobolds.

The chamber they fought in had three entrances: door to the east they came from, and two doors to the west, both closed. Room itself was some thirty by forty feet. A dozen or so filthy piles of straw were on the ground. There were also six rats-on-sticks, as well as stomped out fire.

Nifft was quick to spot a shoddy looking wooden chest with an iron padlock. He tried to pick the lock, but failed miserably. Red from shame, he searched the leaders corpse. Lo and behold, he found an iron key around its neck. He went back to the chest, and pretended to pick the lock, while in reality he used the key.

The chest held two hundred and fifty two copper pieces, ninety eight silver pieces, and fifteen electrum pieces.

Surprisingly, Heinrik and Kho Rimbo were both still alive. Although both were now crawling, whimpering messes, who needed help to move at all. Those still standing checked around the corner, then picked up two magic-users, and returned to Ironburg. It would take them a season to fully recover before they could adventure again.

Kho Rimbo became worried sick that all the friends he made in Ironburg could now cost him his head. He begged Tikatu to take him to his thorn hovel in the nature.

Adventurers now know about multiple promising locations ripe for plundering. Which one will they visit next? And will it be as spectacular as this delve?

Meme by Jan.

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Adventurers

Character Race Class Description
Tikatu Human Druid level 3 A dirty little man with dark and dirty skin, wearing loincloth with no back. “What will be, will be” is his favourite aphorism.
Amari Human Ranger level 2 Black hair that shines blue. Scarred like a gladiator.
Kho Rimbo Human Magic-user level 3 A knife throwing wizard extraordinaire. Covered in ritual knife scars. Cuts himself whilst casting. Prone to being sarcastic.
Ambros Human Cleric level 6 Follower of Aniu, Lord of Time.
Ignaeus Elf Fighter level 4 / magic-user level 5 A slightly weathered looking elf with dull blonde hair and chiseled features. Seeks wealth and knowledge.
Foxglove Human Thief level 6 A willowy human, long hair ties in a pony tail, looks a bit dangerous and dainty at the same time.

Thistleburn 5th, Earthday

The party of six, plus porter Irial, had found the cave Old Crus had pointed them to few days ago. Kho Rimbo begged the old wizard to tell him of any dungeon or lair worth plundering. He endured insults, and in return was rewarded with a scribble illustrating a path to a cave system inhabited by former slaves and servants of the vampire lord that Old Crus had driven out.

It was late morning when the party descended into the cave. First chamber they encountered reeked of body odour. Six pig-faced orcs were resting in their filthy bedrolls.

“Surrender in the name of Law and we might spare you!” Ambros thundered.

A prolonged, wet fart was the reply he received.

Dissatisfied, the adventurers had killed them all. Ambros smashed two, Ignaeus hacked two, while Amari and Foxglove each stabbed one to death. The chamber was some a natural cave of some thirty by forty feet. There was a tunnel on each side. Leather curtains served as sort of doors to the south and west.

“Look, chests...”

Indeed, lazy orcs had three broken chests. They contained a total of four thousand and ninety three copper pieces, as well as eight hundred and one electrum pieces. Adventurers took the latter, but left the former.

Peeking through the south curtain revealed the tunnel thirty feet long terminating in a t-shaped junction. Peeking through the west curtain revealed a phalanx of eighteen kobolds ready to fight.

Adventurers stepped through the curtain with confidence of Lords. Then they proceeded to butcher the pesky critters, crushing their morale. Survivors scattered, fleeing for their lives.

The kidney shaped cave had three exits, all curtained. Party came through the central one on the east side. There was another on the north-east side, and one on the far west side. Adventurers pursued the west exit, which led them to a winding a tunnel, which in turn led them to two cultists inhaling some sort of smoke.

Approaching them did not help too much. The cave the hooded figures were meditating in was roughly circular. A dugout firepit in the center burned and cackled. Figures were men-like, or at least their tattoo-covered faces indicated so. Four dead kobolds close to them.

Communication attempts were rebuffed.

“We are far too busy to waste time on the likes of YOU!”

At that moment the party was surprised from behind by a pack of gnolls and kobolds. Although outnumbered, the adventurers used the narrow tunnel to their advantage. They slowly hacked beastmen to death. But the war of attrition was not going to their advantage.

Ignaeus made the call to cast Sleep. He knocked out all the remaining beastmen. He also put to sleep Tikatu, Amari, and Irial. Victorious, the adventurers plundered the corpses, recovering a total of three hundred and seven silvers pieces, and five hundred and eighty-eight gold pieces.

Leaving behind the rude cultists, adventurers backtracked to the kidney-shaped cave. From there there went north-east, traversing another curving tunnel. This led them to a largish, foul smelling chamber. Size of straw mats suggested this might have been the gnoll's chamber.

Curtain to the west led to a long tunnel stretching from south to north. The further south it went, the narrow it got. North direction passed by another tunnel—smelling of bear faeces—eventually ending with an elongated cave.

Exploring it was rewarded with spiders surprising the adventurers from above. Amari the Ranger had proven her worth in this encounter. She had slain two of the large spiders herself, while Ambros crushed the last one. Tikatu somehow survived.

Foxglove found a desiccated corpse with intact leather belt. Upon the belt were two coin pouches, holding a total of two hundred and fifty seven platinum pieces.

Opting to avoid going down the tunnel smelling like bear shit, the party followed the tunnel leading out of the spider cave. They eventually reached a junction splitting left and right. They turned right and confidently marched straight into the owlbear. In its lair.

The owlbear was thoroughly displeased with such display of disrespect. It promptly barreled into Ignaeus and Ambros. The duo deflected and dodged the onslaught.

“RAAAAAAAAH!!!”

Tiny roars echoed from behind them as a small army of kobolds wearing little pointy green hats charged from around the corner.

Kho Rimbo spoke in languages and summoned a large python made of smoke. It hissed and bit at the pathetic critters, sending them crying back to wherever they came from.

After getting bear-slapped, Ignaeus fell back from the front line. The Ambros nearly got beaked in half. Elf cast Mirror Image and then rejoined the fray. Although outnumbered, owlbear fought ferociously, clawing and beaking whomever dared to attack it.

It was momentarily confused when it hugged Ignaeus, and the elf just disappeared in a puff of smoke. Foxglove the Wise attempted to exploit the moment, and deliver backstab to the creature. The animal sensed him.

The thief was struck by one claw, almost severing his hand. Then he was struck by the second claw, tearing his chest to shreds. And, as if that hadn't been enough, the owlbear bellowed and then bit into his side.

Foxglove was dragged to the back.

Bleeding profusely from its many wounds, the beast roared and charged Ignaeus in its last moment of defiance.

“Poof!”

Mirror image disappeared with a poof of smoke. Real Ignaeus capitalised on the opportunity by driving his broadsword into the creature's maw. He twisted it, jerked upwards, and then jumped back as the creature slumped, dead.

Ransacking its lair revealed a bone case with Protection from Undead scroll. From then on the adventurers rolled through rest of the cave system, indiscriminately slaying everyone and everything they encountered.

There are two happenings worth mentioning.

First was greedy Tikatu pouring himself some pomegranate juice from yellow chalices. As he did so he felt increasingly heavy. Others observed in horror as the pygmy bubbled and inflated by the second, until the transformed into deformed, obese blob. Ambros sighed and rescued him with Remove Curse spell. Second was recovery of a small, metallic, boxy hand-sized object from a stiff corpse of man dressed in red shirt and tight black pants of unfamiliar textile.

Loaded with treasure, the adventurers returned to Ironburg.

Ironburg, where miners refused to work.

Ironburg, where Rall Kyle was drinking himself into lunacy.

Ironburg, where Kho Rimbo lied to be the Eyes of Wizard-King Klekess Racoba.

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Adventurers

Character Race Class Description
Thorm Dwarf Fighter level 4 / thief level 5 Ashen hair, beard, and eyes. Left his own clan due to financial trouble.
Ambros Human Cleric level 6 Follower of Aniu, Lord of Time.
Ignaeus Elf Fighter level 4 / magic-user level 5 A slightly weathered looking elf with dull blonde hair and chiseled features. Seeks wealth and knowledge.
Foxglove Human Thief level 6 A willowy human, long hair ties in a pony tail, looks a bit dangerous and dainty at the same time.
Tikatu Human Druid level 3 A dirty little man with dark and dirty skin, wearing loincloth with no back. “What will be, will be” is his favourite aphorism.
Amari Human Ranger level 1 Black hair that shines blue. Scarred like a gladiator.
Kho Rimbo Human Magic-user level 3 A knife throwing wizard extraordinaire. Covered in ritual knife scars. Cuts himself whilst casting. Prone to being sarcastic.

Sunstrong 15th, Spiritday

Adventurers roamed around the eight-sided chamber tilled with alternating obsidian and redstone slabs. An altar carved of black marble dominated the south side of the chamber. Subtle runes adorned its smooth surface.

Chamber had three egress points—doors to the north and west, and tunnel to the east. It was from the latter that the party had arrived from, crawling over damp, loose soil. Ignaeus and Thorm forced the west doors open.

A ten by ten chamber, nay an alcove, filled with damp soil. Loose ground was almost the same as the one in the tunnel to the east. Ignaeus stepped forth and vanished. Ambros exhaled and followed.

Other adventurers followed as well. Even Hazard, their torchboy, followed. Courage or cowardice? Either way, eight of them in total found themselves in a twenty by twenty chamber with low ceiling.

They stood on damp, loose soil. Walls and ceiling were bereft of anything interesting. Everything was completely featureless. A single alcove housing a blackened skull was the only noticeable thing.

Ignaeus investigated the alcove and skull while others sought secret passageways and openings. Ambros, standing in the center, holding his Gold Gavel of Justice, observed how everyone sank a bit into the ground. All the commotion had moved the soil.

Minutes turned into turns as adventurers desperately tried to figure out how to escape their predicament. Foxglove remembered a lyre he had recovered from the hands of a dead man earlier today. He took it out and played a discordant tune.

Skull flashed with emerald green light. Its eyes sparked green as the lyre played. Music turned into words, whispered effortlessly. Each person heard the words speak in their native tongue.

“Your presence here constitutes your agreement to the Tests. Choose your measure: Test by Strife, or Test by Wit?”

“Wit!”

“Hey, wit hasn't served us well so far!”

But it was too late, for the lyre sang its next tune.

“Answer me this and free you shall be.

Think well, for the wrong answer means you remain here with me.

A tormented soul sought to escape the House of Pain but was not privy to the password.

The spirit observed a few other souls who managed to escape.

When the first soul knocked to be let out, the door-wight hissed “twelve,” the soul answered, “six.”

When the second soul knocked, the door-wight spit, “six,” the soul answered, “three.”

The tormented soul saw a pattern, so it approached the exit and knocked to be let out.

The door-wight coughed, “ten,” the poor soul answered, “five.”

It was unable to escape the House of Pain.

Why?”

Adventurers sat in silence for the first half an hour.

They were stupefied.

Some of them were cursing algebra.

But they did not allow desperation to take them over.

They ruminated.

They calculated.

They discussed.

And then Foxglove got it.

And then they discussed how to answer.

For presenting the answer in the wrong way might mean certain doom.

And Foxglove played the lyre and spoke thus:

“Three. The word six has three letters in it.”

And flashed as tune screamed BAH!

Soil vomited a leather bag.

Adventures looked at it cautiously.

And then they found themselves stuffed in a ten by ten chamber.

They jumped out with further delay and slammed the doors shut.

Alive and kicking, they kicked down north doors, marched through long corridor with damaged statues, and reach the terminus with doors on west, north, and east walls.

Heading east led them to dead end with foul monster that fled Ambros's divinity—a spider-like abomination capable of turning incorporeal. Chief Justice turned it once again. Brave adventurers boxed it in, preventing it to escape.

Thorm, wielding a magical blade, cut it down. That did take some time though. Tikatu, courageous pygmy and door blocker, was bitten several times. Hellish insect pumped him full with venom. But little pygmy did not give in and crawled to safety.

Thorm cut off the creature's appendages and finished it by thrusting the sword through its deformed elven head. Kho Rimbo orchestrated butchering that followed. He was fully intent of bringing as much of this creature as possible to his Master, Old Crus.

“Come on, lets not go out just yet. We are all healthy and strong. Let's check just one more room!”

Thorm the Adventurer convinced others to push on.

Lords of Luck reward guts with glory.

Adventurers moved through two chambers to the west. Then they followed the corridor south, into a wider corridor. Peeking down the open archway revealed little except that there was a rather long passageway ahead of them. Two opening emanated sickly green light, now quite familiar to the party.

“Let's check those doors we passed.”

Forcing them open revealed an empty chambers, some twenty by thirty feet. South doors were hanging ajar. Adventurers approached, with Thorm at the lead.

His keen senses kicked in, and he saw shadows moving. He jumped to his right, barely dodging the exploding doors. Large, seven feet tall, featherless bipedal monstrosity with large sharp claws, and massive axe-like beak towered over the dwarf.

Ignaeus and Thorm wounded the animal. Elf wounded it once more, and then attacked with the flat side of the blade. He successfully subdued the creature—hoping that alive specimen would impress Crus. Then Thorm killed it by accident.

Another, even larger, animal jumped out of the chamber. This time Amari contributed too. But it was yet again Thorm whom had killed the beast. He slashed across, and then vertically, cutting its head in two neat halves.

Investigating the chamber revealed animals' nest with thirty five gold pieces, one hundred and thirty one silver pieces, four sealed crystal vials with thick copper brown liquid, and one bone ring.

Thorm put on the ring.

Kho Rimbo once again orchestrated the butchering. Packing various monster parts took some time, but was done nonetheless.

“Now, let's head back to Ironburg!”

Sunstrong 17th, Waterday

Adventurers arrived into the miners' thorp on the evening of Sunstrong 17th. There were less men than usual. Hog's Head Inn was empty. Ambros and Ignaeus looked at each other wearily.

Kho Rimbo was too consumed with his geas to care. He took all the rotting monster parts and carried them off to Old Crus, some half an hour of hiking from the thorp. Amari accompanied him.

This time they did not have to wait long for Old Crus to open the doors. Not because he got any faster, but because his current student, Heinrik, opened them. Conversation was as slow and as miserly as usual.

Kho Rimbo boasted and boasted. Old Crus was very unimpressed. But he appreciated the monster parts greatly. At least the arachnid ones. Bird he did not care about—they are not Woelands natives, and therefore are of no interest to him.

“Am I free of the geas now?”

“What geas?”

“The geas you had put on me?”

“There was never any geas? That was all you?”

Kho Rimbo stood there, mute and dumbfound.

“Will... will you teach me other spells as we agreed?”

“Yes, of course. But you can always get more more monster parts if you wish.”

While Kho Rimbo was doing his thing with Old Crus, Ambros, Ignaeus, Foxglove, and Thorm were learning what was wrong in Ironburg.

Stroud Granger, the innkeeper, stammered:

“I-I-I would n-not like to insult you. B-but it all started with y-your friend Kho Rimbo. After he left Lord Kyle had miners rounded up. Then he ordered three of them to be brutally flogged.”

He gulped audibly before continuing:

“Including Darvin the Foreman, who is most outspoken about miserable work conditions. Following that, the miners have holed up in the mines and are boycotting further work. They refuse to return to Ironburg until the drunk tyrant has been removed.”

He sobbed audibly:

“There is no one drinking anymore. No one eating. You are my only customers. My best customers! Will you please stay here!”

Ambros leaned back in his chair. Gold Gavel of Justice was in his hands. “Kho. Rimbo. Kho. Rimbo.” he uttered, gazing into the distance.

How will adventurers help now? Should they even help?

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This was an impromptu session with my brother, father, and partner. Try to guess who played which character.

Adventurers

Character Race Class Description
Dita Afrodita Human Cleric level 1 Lover of everything intellectual.
Holy Biggus Dongus I Human Cleric level 1 Worshiper of the Dong.
Holy Biggus Dongus II Human Fighter level 1 Also worshiper of the Dong.
Bobby I Human Fighter level 1 A fighter.
Bobby II Human Magic-User level 1 Thrown out of the academy due to his immense wisdom. Relative of Bobby I.
Bobby III Human Magic-User level 1 Thrown out of the academy due to his massive bulk. Friend of Bobby II.

Summer of year 4435 according to the Balozkinar’s Corrected Commoners’ Calendar

“Screw this, let's go drinking in the village.”

Three adventurers—cleric Dita Afrodita, cleric Holy Biggus Dongus, and magic-user Bobby—immediately abandoned dungeon in front of them, judging the place to be too dangerous.

Therefore they headed back to Ahyf, a fishing village overlooking the Winedark sea. There they partied and wasted their coin for days.

Dita entertained the villagers, Bobby was telling everyone what is real and what is not, and Biggus Dongus was asking around for other places of interest.

Wise Bobby collected pine cones and filled them with resin. Then he asked Dita to bless them. These, he was sure, would be perfect firebombs.

Weighing their options, the trio decided to return to the dungeon overlooking the sea. It sounded way better than going up the Ghinarian Hills swarming with cannibal barbarians flaying passerbys.

The dungeon was in fact an old fort carved into the side of the cliff. A narrow ledge, barely sufficient for one person, led to the entrance, an opening in the cave. The tunnel then led to a bridge over the river spilling into the sea, which connected the tunnel with the stone dock.

Stone platform stretched for some hundred yards. Stone wall was to the right, while three lower platforms were to the left. Rubble and debris covered the pathway.

Adventurers could see three ancient rowboats attached to each of the three piers. Visually inspecting them confirmed that all were in a rather poor shape. There was an interesting chest in the middle boat.

While the adventurers dreamt of treasure, half a dozen stirges surprised them from above. The fight was brutal. Monsters dive bombed with ferocity.

Dongus swatted one off Dita, opting to ignore the one sucking him dry.

“Forget the pine cones! Get them off me!” he yelled to Bobby. Alas, the magic-user was preoccupied with his “magical” cones. Another stirge rammed Dongus, driving its proboscis through his soft neck. The cleric was dead.

Dita crushed stirge after stirge. She also crushed Dongus's head, missing the monster on him. By the time she was finished there was no one and nothing breathing but her.

Overtaken by grief she left the dungeon, travelled to Ahyf, and then travelled to Hara. She hoped to gain audience with the Great Wizard-King Klekless Racoba, so she could ask him to bring her two friends back to life.

Alas, that did not go as she had hoped. So she recruited two new adventurers instead: Holy Biggus Dongus II and Bobby II. Together they travelled to Ahyf and prepared for the dungeon expedition.

They spent weeks following Bobby's plan to create three resin filled strawmen. Bobby II argued that burning them would surely keep the stirges away.

Dungeon was where they left it. Corpses were gone. Adventurers left a strawman on each pier. Then they focused on the pier with rowboat that housed a single chest.

Dongus II was smart. Instead of going into rotten boat he threw the rope around the chest and pulled it out. Boat creaked as it snapped and capsized, and eventually sunk.

Opening the chest revealed a thousand or so silver pieces, a silver necklace, and a dagger with pale bluish glow.

The party discussed what to do next for so long that they were surprised by four lizardmen jumping out of the water. Two jumped at the far side of the pier, while other two jumped out quite close to Dongus II and Dita.

Bobby II was promptly driven down and stabbed to death. Dita and Dongus smashed their opposition, cutting them down and crushing their limbs. They collected the treasure and left for Ahyf.

Back in the village they recruited Bobby III, another magic-user. This one was a fan of Magic Missile. No pine cone nor resin fetish.

Dita led the refreshed party back to the dungeon. This time they ignored the piers and explored rest of the dock.

At the far end was a twenty feet wide gate with rusty portcullis. Iron grates were rusted, locking the portcullis hanging some three feet off the ground.

In the center of the dock was another portal, albeit with no obvious gates. It was more like a twenty feet wide and tall alcove with flame motifs. Bobby III carried one of the strawmen into the alcove and then set it on fire. Nothing happened. Except smoke.

The trio reconvened by the rusted portcullis.

A large domed hall sprawled beyond the gates. A spiral of mystic runes and scrawls dominated the floor. Three corpses laid on the floor, their garments rotted beyond recognition.

Bobby III cast his single Magic Missile at one of the corpses. It turned over from the force, but otherwise remained dormant.

Dongus II the cowboy lassoed the corpses closest to him and then dragged it towards the portcullis. Corpse twitched and rose. Veteran pulled on the rope, pinning the undead to the iron grates. Dita and Bobby III quickly dispatched of the corpse by smashing and stabbing it.

Dongus repeated the process on the second corpse. Adventurers' tactic worked brilliantly once again. Third corpse was a different story. This one was powerful enough to pull itself free from the mighty thews of Holy Biggus Dongus II. It ducked under the grates, and lunged in savage assault.

Dita blocked, but was clawed. She found it difficult to move, and was soon entirely immobile. Dongus did not fare much better. It was Bobby III and his glowing dagger that saved the day. He drove it into the neck of vile undead. Then he touched his paralysed allies with magic dagger, silver necklace, and other items from the backpack. Nothing got them to move. So he dragged both to the dungeon entrance.

An hour or so later both Dita and Dongus regained control of their bodies. Adventurers called it a day and returned to Ahyf.

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Adventurers

Character Race Class Description
Thorm Dwarf Fighter level 4 / thief level 5 Ashen hair, beard, and eyes. Left his own clan due to financial trouble.
Ambros Human Cleric level 6 Follower of Aniu, Lord of Time.
Ignaeus Elf Fighter level 4 / magic-user level 5 A slightly weathered looking elf with dull blonde hair and chiseled features. Seeks wealth and knowledge.
Foxglove Human Thief level 6 A willowy human, long hair ties in a pony tail, looks a bit dangerous and dainty at the same time.
Tikatu Human Druid level 3 A dirty little ma with dark and dirty skin, wearing loincloth with no back. “What will be, will be” is his favourite aphorism.
Amari Human Ranger level 1 Black hair that shines blue. Scarred like a gladiator.
Kho Rimbo Human Magic-user level 3 A knife throwing wizard extraordinaire. Covered in ritual knife scars. Cuts himself whilst casting. Prone to being sarcastic.

Sunstrong 13th, Earthday

“What do you mean?”

Rall Kyle, a minor noble in charge of Ironburg, squirmed in his chair. Just minutes ago he was yelling at one of his servants for not letting in Kho Rimbo sooner. But now he was growing suspicious.

“I was waiting for you to hear about latest news. How could I inform you? Is this... is this another test?”

Rall squinted at Kho Rimbo quizzically. Foxglove and Thorm sat in silence. They were in Rall's house, a two-story building with six rooms, situated some twenty minutes east of the village.

Kho Rimbo acted before Rall had time to think.

“That's about right! You are always being tested! RAKOBA HAS HIS EYES EVERYWHERE! I AM HIS EYES! HE KNOWS ALL! NOW, SPILL YOUR GUTS!”

Rall Kyle began sweating profusely. Adventurers' intimidating ruse worked.

He stammered and stuttered, trying to explain how he did his part of the bargain, but mining is getting harder and harder. Miners are lazy and incompetent and always ask for rest and wages. He was hoping that orc miners Racoba had promised would arrive any day now.

“D-D-Darvin. He is the foreman. He is guilty for the delay!”

“Fix this! I will be watching! Wizard-King Racoba will be watching!”

Satisfied with what they have learned, the adventurers left Rall to marinate in fear and anxiety while they headed back to Ironburg. There they decided that it would be most opportune to work on Kho Rimbo's geas—which the conjurer accept in exchange for tutelage by Old Crus, and experienced wizard. All he had to was bring some monster parts from Woelands.

Ignaeus and Ambros knew the closest entrance into the Wilderlands' underbelly—the stone circle atop the Midnight Goddess Hills. A party of seven adventurers and one porter—young Hazard—set out for the hills.

Sunstrong 15th, Spiritday

Sun was brutal. Heat was immense. Adventurers did not care, for they marched on. They reached their destination around noon. Descending down long, spiral stairs, worn by time, chilled everyone down.

This dungeon was familiar to Ignaeus, Foxglove, and Ambros, whom had been here several seasons ago. This was the place where Tagoler of the Castle of the Wode lost a patrol of rangers. A place where abominable spider-men walk about. A place where abyssal monstrosities weave pale green webs that paralyse men, and melt flesh.

Entry chamber was filled with azure blue haze, preventing anyone from seeing further than their own palm. The elf remembered all the traps and thus warned others accordingly. It took adventurers two hours to navigate this humble chamber and figure out how to open doors with a pit trap in front of them. But they succeeded.

Once they were in the long, dark corridor, they opted to head east for some hundred feet. The corridor bent south and then west. They stopped to inspect broken doors through which pale green light emanated. Empty.

Moving on, the party followed the bending corridor, until they reached a sixty feet long stretch with three doors on the west side. Behind first doors was an empty room. Behind second doors was a room with tattered greenish webs. Third doors revealed a chamber filled with intact webs pulsating with sickly green hue.

Thorm took a peek, pushing in the arm he was holding the torch with. A disgusting spider-like monstrosity surprised him from above, but failed to bite him. The dwarf slammed the doors shut. Adventurers spent some time planning how to overcome this threat. Military oil was the solution everyone agreed upon.

One of the adventurers pulled the doors wide open. Thorm chucked in a flask of burning military oil. It splashed on strings of web. Amari, followed by few others, charged in from the adjoining room, the one that was behind second doors, only to be assaulted from above by the same monstrosity that tried to impregnate Thorm.

She got bit, and felt getting weaker by the round. Tikatu soon suffered the same fate. Adventurers were unable to strike the abomination for every time their weapon was about to connect the monster would simply become immaterial.

“Begone!” Ambros thundered, holding up his Golden Gavel of Justice. Abyssal spider-like creature hissed and fled through the webs. Carefully following, adventurers moved slowly through the webs, making sure they do not accidentally touch them.

There was an opening on the south side, an alcove, leading into three feet tall crawlspace. Ground was covered by damp soil. Foxglove and Ambros got down on all four and went it. The former spotted something glowing in the soil, some fifteen feet westwards.

Coming closer, the thief could see this was a hand harp of sorts. He tried to gently pull on it. As his reward two rotten arms burst from the loose soil and grabbed him around the neck, choking him. Luckily, Ambros was right next to him. The arms disintegrated into dust as soon as the cleric began chanting the holy words.

Foxglove played with the harp a bit, but produced nothing but disturbing and discordant tunes. He tucked it into his backpack and continue crawling forward, into an octagonal chamber.

This eight-sided chamber was tilled with alternating obsidian and redstone slabs. Slanted ceiling rose from north to south, from eight feet around the walls to reaching twenty feet high on the south side. Beneath the highest point an altar carved of black marble sat, with subtle runes carved upon its smooth surface.

Adventurers spread out to investigate the chamber and altar.

What will they learn? And will Kho Rimbo find something to bring back to Old Crus? Or will he disappoint him once more?

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Adventurers

Character Race Class Description
Heinrik Human Magic-user level 1 Muscular mage with short blonde hair and piercing blue eyes.
Ambros Human Cleric level 6 Follower of Aniu, Lord of Time.
Ignaeus Elf Fighter level 5 / magic-user level 4 A slightly weathered looking elf with dull blonde hair and chiseled features. Seeks wealth and knowledge.
Foxglove Human Thief level 6 A willowy human, long hair ties in a pony tail, looks a bit dangerous and dainty at the same time.
Tikatu Human Druid level 3 A dirty little ma with dark and dirty skin, wearing loincloth with no back. “What will be, will be” is his favourite aphorism.
Amari Human Ranger level 1 Black hair that shines blue. Scarred like a gladiator.
Kho Rimbo Human Magic-user level 3 A knife throwing wizard extraordinaire. Covered in ritual knife scars. Cuts himself whilst casting. Prone to being sarcastic.

Sunstrong 5th, Spiritday

Sun beat down on Ghinarian Hills with no mercy. Not a trace of clouds to offer some shade or protection. Seven adventurers—Alaric, Ambros, Andvar, Heinrik, Ignaeus, Seren, and Tikatu—spent a week hiding away in a smelly ogre lair they had cleaned up.

During that time Alaric and Seren scouted Midway, confirming that it too was conquered by Racoba's forces. Tikatu was still recoiling from his wounds. A decision was made. The party would travel close to Ahyf. Then all but Heinrik would find a spot by the coast to hide.

Heinrik would go alone, with nothing but staff and few well hidden gold pieces, to the village, check in on Amari, Somniel, and Mepheus, and finally, hire a sailing ship to take them to Ironburg.

That was the plan.

Here is how it went.

Enroute to the village Heinrik was stopped by a dozen brigands. They were cheerful and offered him to “escort” him to Ahyf in exchange for some coin. Heinrik was delighted to pay them seven gold pieces. They indeed delivered on their promise, which was easy since the village was literally within sight, less than half an hour of walking away.

Magic-User had no problem with the guards at the entrance. “We already took care of him!” patrol leader winked to the guards. The latter just waved them away, cart half-full of weapons and trinkets behind them.

After confirming that Mepheus, Somniel, and Amari were fine, he negotiated with three fishermen with sizeable coaster to take him to Ironburg, forty leagues upriver. He agreed to pay them thirty gold pieces if they set out tomorrow morning.

Sunstrong 6th, Airday

Amari, now fully recovered, and Mepheus, joined Heinrik on the boat. They set out before dawn, rowing along the coast to pick up Ambros, Ignaeus, and Seren whom were hiding an hour or so away from Ahyf.

Then they sailed west, to the confluence of mighty rivers Cedarwade and Farhills. These are wide rivers, and clear day provided good visibility. Thus, they sailed north, towards Ironburg.

As they approached Hara they could see a man waving a flag at them, pointing to the harbour.

“What shall we do?” asked the fisherman “They want us to enter.”

“Just sail around them. As close to the east bank as possible.” instructed Ambros.

The coaster was soon peppered with arrows, kill two out of the three fishermen. The surviving one cursed the adventurers all the way to Ironburg. Navigating a coast with one third of the crew was an insane undertaking, but through sheer luck they made it in one piece.

“Where will I find seamen in this godforsaken place?!” the fisherman lamented as he wiped away the tears with a purse filled with gold pieces.

Ambros went straight to the Hog's Head Inn and rented out all the rooms. This will be the adventurers base of operations for the time being. Or,at least, so they planned.

Sunstrong 7th, Waterday

Adventurers caught up with Kho Rimbo, Foxglove, and Thorm, whom were each on their own mission in Ironburg for some time now.

“Heinrik, I am telling you, you need to meet Old Crus. He is old and slow, but great mentor. Amazing library too!”

Heinrik had lost his spellbook, and he wanted to write himself a new one. But that was nigh impossible without source material and appropriate supplies. Prospect of Old Crus sounded great.

And so, whilst others shopped and explored the hamlet, Kho Rimbo, Heinrik, and Ignaeus went to visit the Old Crus's tower.

As it goes, they had to wait nearly half an hour before the grumpy wizard opened the doors. He looked at Kho Rimbo. Then at Ignaeus. Then at Heinrik. Then at Kho Rimbo again. Then elf. Then muscle mage.

Kho Rimbo talked, but old Crus did not listen. Instead he asked:

“Am I Lysander?”

Kho Rimbo was dumbfound.

“Sorry, what?”

Old Crus leaned in and enunciated:

“Am-I-Lysander?”

“Sorry, I do not understand!”

Old Crus widened his eyes and spelled it out:

“A-m I L-y-s-a-n-d-e-r?”

Kho Rimbo cried out:

“I am sorry, is that a-”

Old Crus slammed the doors shut, almost hitting the scarred man in the face.

“Well, that went great.”

“I'll knock again!”

“What did you do to him to piss him off so much?” Heinrik inquired.

The doors swung open once more.

Kho Rimbo talked about Klekless Racoba, and how he is out to get all the wizards, and how he needs help so he can get monster parts from Woelands, and he begged and begged and begged until Old Crus relented.

Old wizard leaned on his gnarly staff and squinted at Heinrik, sizing him up. “Well, I never mentored an imbecile. I guess I could try it as a fun pastime.” He motioned the muscle mage to come in. Then he turned to Kho Rimbo, eyes of attack. “Enough groveling! Do you take me for a fool! You evaded and dodged your geas for long enough. This elf next to you knows how to enter Woelands! Do not come back empty handed!”

“No, really, Kho Rimbo, I must know what you did to the old man? Why does he hate you so much?” Heinrik whispered to Kho Rimbo as he entered Crus's tower.

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