Why all of them? Well, the first duo for picking up on my unsubtle clues. And the second duo for daring to risk their characters to see if this is some useful and valuable treasure or not. The risk they have taken was calculated, but alas, it did not pay off.
When they run out of coin and fortune! When they desire far more than they have! When they lust for power and wealth! When they reach old age and are bored to death by their progeny and state affairs!
Where can one have a lesson so unexpected it will make others envy them?
What I am about to share is a secret most proper, a ruinous secret that sets the expectation and makes unexpected expected, and yet one should not expect it otherwise it will fail to be unexpected.
On the east coast of the Romilion Sea, beyond the springs, but before the marshes, lie the Gates of Black Sun. Adventurers that venture beyond them will learn such a lesson that will make the living envy them, and the dead pity them.
Is there a genre more nostagic, sentimental, or longing than the OSR? Originally rooted in breathing new life into the earlies editions of Dungeons & Dragons, OSR means a lot of things to a lot of people today. To those interested in OSR I'd recommend to pick their game of choice based on more than rules—consider the vibes, the presentation, the genuiness of invitation to play.
Original Dungeons & Dragons little brown booklets are still very playable, despite their age. They do demand of the Judge and Players to accept the ownership and responsibility for the game—for they will have to fill in some of the gaps—but in return, they also offer great fun, unlike anything else out there.
And for those that would like more modern, I can heartily recommend Swords & Wizardry Complete, a wonderful retroclone of the earliest rules which includes material from the little brown booklets, plus selection of best stuff from Greyhawk, Blackmoor, and Eldritch Wizardry supplements. It packs everything in compact 128 pages, and includes plenty of guidance to start playing.
How does one learn about their destiny whilst retaining their pride?
One must pay the price of foresight; nothing in Barbarian Altanis is given for free. Strange folk of Queans Waste yell in reverence of the Great Prophet of P'than; Onsiler of the Temple of Azure Dreams is said to be a marvellous diviner; Minarax of Barath has thus foretold all dangers and led orcs to dominance of sulphur mines; Zantrin of the Grove of Serenity is haunted by a strange prophecy. And lest it be forgotten—adventurers create their own destiny.
If a rule exists only to curb a player or character that has been successful, in game terms, whilst playing by the rules fairly and candidly, then that is a pretty good signal that the rule might have been formulated in spite.
Where can characters expect to get overcome with excitment?
The vault of notorious dark elf Lesyraen Kilduis is rumoured to hold riches beyond mortal comprehension. Little is known of, or about him, except that he was extreme even by the Woelands standards. He was last spotted in the Wilderlands couple of years ago, searching for something in Hara valley and Eyestone jungle.
Easy. Be nice to them. Pay them. Give them gifts. Ask for help. Compliment them. Tell them what great heroes they are. Tell them they are fighting for freedom and for good of the people. Offer to run their estate for them while they are away, adventuring. Give them what they are asking for and be grateful for it. Spread rumours to turn local populace against them. Offer your help to “calm the situation down.” Don't challenge them face on, you will surely lose. Instead get them to self-destruct. Hang them the noose and they'll take care of everything else.
I... I don't know? I hope that most of the mystifying, perplexing, and obtuse rules stem from incompetence and lack of writerly rigour and discipline, than some perverted source of pride. “Huhu, my rules can only be understood by most dedicated scholars.” There will be no scholars if your game sucks. HackMaster 4E was deliberately written with a very tongue-in-cheek tone, drenched in High Gygaxian, so perhaps that one would qualify as taking pride in deliberate mystification. Oh, what a pity that it isn't readily available any more!
Illustration by Brulligrum.