Conquering the Barbarian Altanis: Session 84


Character Class Description
Derennan Dwarf level 3 A dwarf hailing from Western Wastes.
Llyfed Elf level 3 Thin and balding elf whom also happens to be Rashomon's friend.
Nolmbork Dwarf level 2 Portly, bald, red bearded, with an epic nose. On a mission to have a drink in every settlement in Wilderlands.
Elvis Elf level 1 An elf.
Oberon Fighter level 3 A tall, supple hunter adorned with bones and horns of his prey.

Thawmist 16th, Airday

“I banish ye to the grave you came from!”

Tarkus roared with the last atoms of strength in his body whilst brandishing an open book, the holy symbol of Bachontoi, God of Red Wisdom.

Bright crimson light flashed the chamber, forcing the undead to flee in terror. The cleric collapsed to his knees, completely expired. He felt warmth as red light washed over him.

Nolmbork, Llyfed, and Oberon first watched in awe, then in confusion, as Tarkus vanished and confused elf appeared in his place.

“Pardon my language, but who the fuck are you?” Llyfed inquired politely.

“I'm Elvis.” the elf politely replied.

“The king is with us! We are saved!”

Derennan was still prostrated, stiff and motionless, on the ground.

“The ghouls will return any moment. Which way do we go back?”

Following a brief discussion the decision has been made to go all the way back to the doors that were flanked by banners with yellow hyena head.

Oberon and Elvis carried paralysed Derennan, while Llyfed and severely injured Nolmbork led the way.

Derennan recovered his facilities just in time to assist with lifting the portcullis.

“Pssst, I hear sobs?”

Indeed, Derennan picked up quiet weeps and snorts coming from the chamber filled with thick, azure fog.

“Derennan, Derennan!” child-like voices cried in Dwarven “Big nasty brutes took away our toys! They laughed as we tried to take them back! Derennan, Derennan! You are a hero, please get it back for us!”

Derennan Derennan calmed the ghosts and assured them he will do something about it. The party navigated the fog chamber and successfully found their way out.

“Be careful. The doors are probably trapped.” Indeed, multiple holes were on both sides of the door, going from ankle- to head-height.

Wounded Nolmbork found a safe spot in the chamber and rested a bit. Invisible hands braided what little remained of his beard and hair.

Llyfed and Oberon watched the doors, painfully aware of how it went last time they went into the place with similar banners.

Derennan pressed on the floor with his polearm. Nothing much happened—until he put his whole bodyweight on it.

A number of spears went out, effectively blocking access to the doors. But that did not prevent Elvis from wiggling his hips between the opening of the speartips.

He gingerly passed, tied a rope around the stone door handle, and passed it to Llyfed. The party gently pulled the doors ajar. Elvis peeked in. It was a large, dimly illuminated chamber. And it reeked.

Five figures sat around a campfire in the middle of the room. Two big, hulking; three smaller, but still larger and hairier than an average human, sulking.

Elvis stepped in, just beyond the doors, cleared his throat, and then cast Charm Person on the largest monster in range. Then he fled back, shut the doors, and wiggled between the tips.

“Wasn't the plan to go in and talk to them?”

“Do you want to talk to them?”

“No, we just wait for them to come out and then we talk to them.”

“But no one is coming out.”

“Should we, and by we I mean you, go back in?”

Not even a minute later and Elvis was wiggling once more.

The door flung open as soon as the elf placed his hand on the handle. And no, it was not due to his incredible strength.

A ten foot tall and five feet wide brute dressed in loincloth stood in the door frame, towering over Elvis. It looked wholly unimpressed by this band of tattered and torn adventures.

Llyfed and company recognised the monster, for it was the same one it relieved them of all their coin just an hour or so ago. The spears slowly retracted into the walls. Adventurers accepted the ogre's invitation to enter the chamber.

They were greeted by a second, smaller ogre, holding open a sack. The party threw in all their remaining valuables—mostly coins and shiny objects recovered in the chamber adjoining the one with the pit.

This seventy by seventy feet room was lit by a number of torches in sconces, as well as campfire in the centre. Of three hyena-like humanoids, only one was standing. The remaining two remained seating by the fire. Ogres rejoined them, counting their new gains. The standing gnoll operated a disc-like protrusion next to the doors.

Once it finished, it took a good look at the adventurers and licked its lips. The party offered themselves as mercenaries. Negotiations were led by Llyfed, who is fluent in Gnoll, while Elvis was translating for Derennan, Nolmbork, and Oberon.

The gnoll howled with laughter, wondering why should they hire someone so beat up and pathetic. After all, they just voluntarily handed over everything they had to two big guys.

Elvis offered one ration in exchange for safe passage. This too was laughed off. Alas, this triggered the brains of two sitting gnolls—they just realised they have some juicy, tender elf flesh right in front of them. What a treat that would be after weeks of rats and vermin!

“Children” Derennan spoke in soft voice “you should leave now. Go to the fog and play there. I'll bring you your toys soon.”

He did not want them to witness what was about to go down.

In final desperate attempt to negotiate, Llyfed mentioned scrolls of great magic. Surely that is worth something!

“Wait...” the gnoll snapped as he held the two hungry ones back “Do you know the land above? Can you draw it?”

“Yes. How about a deal? You lead us out and we make you a map.”

“No. I take you to our leader and you talk with him.”

Adventurers now whispered amongst themselves, agreeing to go along. What else do they have to lose? The two dwarves were ready to fight to the bitter end anyway.

Party was escorted down the winding corridors until a T-shaped junction. They took the right doors, into a chamber reeking of refuse and wet hair. A dozen of gnolls nearly jumped from excitement as they've seen five captured pinkies enter.

“Down!” the chatty gnoll barked, and led the party into another chamber, this one behind a portcullis jammed open with five portcullis.

There adventurers met Wa Ba, chieftain of the Tattered Fort tribe. They promptly insulted him by letting him know they met his king few miles up north, to which Wa Ba went mad with rage.

“King?! King?! I am the king! I am the chief of mighty Tattered Fort tribe! There is no king over me!”

It didn't get much better for our band of negotiators. Refusing to accept their situation, they demanded more than they could get, and offered a lot less than was asked for. In the end the inevitable happened.

Derennan gripped his polearm and skewered the closest gnoll. Nolmbork took out two oil flasks and jumped at one of the beastmen. Elvis, Llyfed, and Oberon pulled their weapons too.

Wa Ba growled with ecstasy, and charged the party. As did all the other gnolls in the chieftain's chamber. Elvis was slain with one might strike. Derennan took more punishment, but succumbed as well.

Nolmbork, our injured Nolmbork, did not fare much better. He was beaten senseless. Llyfed parried and blocked, back to back with Oberon. With the fighter going down, Llyfed was completely surrounded and pounded upon. The lights went out for him too.

Last thing he heard were cackles.

So disrespectful.

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#Wilderlands #SessionReport

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