Conquering the Barbarian Altanis: Session 42


Character Class Description
Brother Kallahan Cleric level 2 Crooked, broken nose; big bags under eyes; long hair, bald spot hidden under old pilgrim's hat; and emaciated figure. Mosquitoes and the smell of dampness always accompanies him.
BuddyPuddingBottom Elf level 2 Peppermint scented elf followed by jingles, on a quest for the perfect gift.
Eccy Throi Elf level 1 Wears a dark green cloak to hide his bulging muscles and crippling anxiety.
Barad the Bald Magic-User level 1 Bald, beardless, chinless, and lazy-eyed.
Rhovar Fighter level 3 A generic Nordic guy.
Kuqhir of the Wastes Magic-User level 2 A thin, tall, dark skinned man with a magnificent beard that tickles his bellybutton. Dresses in silk robes and tightly folded turban embroidered with names of all known angels.
Neremyn Elf level 1 A tall, pale, and lean scholar of languages with silver hair and a somewhat distant attitude.
Amanka Cleric level 1 Dour, glum, tight-lipped, and baggy-eyed cleric with a gravestone-shaped talisman. She reveres the Fallen One, a petty god of fallen warriors and unsung heroes.
Zilar Fighter level 1 A handsome 9th son of a noble who has read too many trashy fantasy books for his own good, and now thinks that bravery is not being scared of anything.

Sunstrong 18th, Earthday

“Tie them all up!”

The party has just beaten three figures to unconsciousness, with one of them being a treacherous elf that dares to stab the pal Neremyn.

These bad people were trying to break into another room, from whence an unknown person shouted defiantly that they'll never be caught alive.

“We are the Hydra Company!” Rhovar shouted standing next to the same doors. “We are here to rescue Herat's sister! You have nothing to worry about if you are an honest man!”

A few moments later a large man dressed in long gray-blue robe opened the doors. He introduced himself as Amdor, and thanked the party for taking care of these foul men that tried to kill him. An ornate staff with gilded swirls was in his left hand.

Rhovar interrogated the man, all the while playing thumb games with him. He was gravely worried that Amdor might try to surprise them with some powerful spell. After all, just minutes ago an elf put him to sleep with surprising ease.

Neremyn, Eccy, Kallahan, and few others took to interrogation of unconscious men. Months in the city of Antil have apparently softened Brother Kallahan, for his first move was to gently awaken one of the men.

Once that did not work, he resorted to tried and tested method of slapping the person. Alas, all he got were few incoherent rumbles and sloppy mumbles.

On the other hand, Eccy and Neremyn were far more successful. They quickly found out their captive kinsman's name was Pipluk. Eccy's bloodthirsty gaze and semi-erotic caressing of his serrated handaxe motivated Pipluk to answer any and all questions with great haste.

“I'm the leader of this adventuring band. We came here for the same reason as you! To seek treasure in these long forgotten crypt. That was when we encountered the robbed man. Since he was most uncooperative, we decided to teach him a lesson. And then you showed up!”

“Why did you stab me!” Neremyn demanded.

“Well, you were the one who charged in, slashing and breaking, and all that shit!”

On the other hand, Rhovar had managed to learn much more from Amdor. If he was to believe him, the man was a member of an adventuring party whom had made the crypt their home. He offered to guide the Hydra Company to his leader, but Rhovar refused.

He also explained that the sound of rustling winds is what “keeps the dead sleeping” and that it is important to “stay as quiet as you can” as not to disturb the resting.

At one moment Kallahan joined Rhovar in questioning Amdor. Despite the wizard sharing everything he knew, the duo did not seem to trust him.

Finally, Amdor divulged something of great interest!

“A few weeks ago—or was it days?—we captured a group of adventurers who tried to break into our home. Unfortunately two of them died, but the man and woman whom had survived were thrown into our cells.”

“Tell me more about the woman!” Herat nearly jumped at the man.

“Long brown hair, pretty face, quite feisty. I remember her yelling so much we had to knock her unconscious!”

“That's her! Can you take us to her?”

“Of course. Which way would you like to go?”

“The shortest!”

“In that case we will head back to the Flame Portal overlooking the docks. I created a secret passageway behind the lever using my majestic arcane skills.”

“I'm sorry, but although we trust you, we will tie your hands. Do you understand?”

“You know, I could be of more help if I was untied...”

They tied his hands anyway.

Rad, Galiana, and Boweroth took Pipluk and his two thus outside, so they secure them in their camp.

The rest of the party went to the Flame Portal, with few of them always keeping an eye on Amdor.

The man was not lying—there was another secret door behind the secret chamber that housed the lever.

“Come on! Let's go!” Herat was less and less patient.

Rhovar stepped through the passageway first, with Herat closely following. Although less than five feet wide, the passage was quite tall, with their torches barely reaching the ceiling. The surfaces were smooth and featureless.


Zilar and Amanka turned around just in time to see several crocodile headed humanoids crawl out of the water behind them.


“Form ranks!”

Eccy charged to the staircases on the left, Zilar and Amanka to the right, while the rest of the party ran up the stairs to the top of the bastion. Rhovar and Herat were too deep to hear the details, but they were aware of something happening.

“There is five more swimming down there!”

“Watch out!”

Four of them surrounded Zilar. They beat him unconscious with their bone weapons. Bloodied and zoned out, Zilar fell down on the ground.

Eccy disembowelled the monster in front of him, while Kuqhir started to chant magical words. Alas! By the time he was done, two of the beasts grabbed Zilar and jumped into the sea!

Rhovar joined the fray just in time to finish off the lizardman already wounded by BuddyPuddingBottom and Kallahan. When Kuqhir finished his ritual, three more lizardmen fell.

Amanka slipped on one of the stairs and tumbled straight into the sea. Luckily, the opposition had either left (with still breathing Zilar) or had been killed.

“You know, if my hands weren't tied I could solved this with a move of my finger!”

Kuqhir studied the man. He couldn't see any spellbook. Maybe he left it somewhere safe? Either way, the party formed a single file rank, and marched through the secret passageway.

“You should see flat wall just ahead. It is another secret door. It's a simple rotating mechanism, just push one of the edges and it will open.”

Rhovar pushed gingerly, opening the doors a little bit.

“Fuck off!” a female voice shouted.

“That's her voice!” Herat whispered to Rhovar and tried to push him forward. The Skandik hadn't budged whatsoever. “Wait. It might be a trap. Tell her to calm down.”

“Pinella it's me, Herat!”

“Oh sister, so happy to hear your voice! Come in and help me!”

Now the party charged in with all their might.

They rushed into a roughly twenty-five by twenty feet chamber with double doors to the left and right. Various torture contraptions hanged on the north wall. A naked woman was chained to the hanging bed on the south wall.

Ugly looking man with bloodied face and nothing but chain shirt stood in the southwest corner of the room. Last thing he did in his miserable life before Rhovar crushed his head into a pulp was pulling on a silk cord hanging from the ceiling.

Herat took care of her sister, whom was in very good health despite her predicament. “Fucking loser. Good riddance. Cannot tell you how many times I broke his ugly face.”

“What the fuck is this Amdor?” Rhovar grabbed the wizard by his throat. Eccy flanked the man, sporting his axe once more.

“Ghhhgfhh–you are choking me–”

“Yes I fucking am! Speak!”

“–I don't come here often. What do I know what they do here!”

“How many of you are there left?! Where are they!”

As this was happening, Kuqhir, Neremyn and Amanka went through the west double doors, for there were more prison cells there. Indeed, a bruised man dressed in rags was in one of them.

“Are my eyes fooling me or have my prayers been answered?”

The man slowly got off the ground, revealing his badly mauled arms and scab-covered legs.

“Come, let's get you out of here.”

“I'm sorry, I don't have the strength to carry myself... Please save my friend as well, she is in the torture chamber next door...”

“Don't worry, she is with her sister now.”

Amanka watched guard over the south doors. Much to her surprise several dog shaped head emerged from the doors—as if they turned into liquid wood—and started barking and growling audibly.

“Let's get out of here a bit quicker.”

“Six more! Just south of here, behind the barking doors is another secret passageway which leads you into the former priests' chambers. That's where our base is!”

Amdor answered Rhovar as Kuqhir and Neremyn returned, carrying a broken man. Amanka followed with a brisk pace.

“Just one more thing. Herat please pass me the dagger...”

Having castrated her jailer, now she too was ready to leave.

Illustrations by Idle Doodler.

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