Conquering the Barbarian Altanis: Session 144

September 8, 2025

Adventurers

Character	Race	Class	Description
Tikatu	Human	Druid level 1	A dirty little ma with dark and dirty skin, wearing loincloth with no back. “What will be, will be” is his favourite aphorism.
Kho Rimbo	Human	Magic-User level 1	A knife throwing wizard extraordinaire. Covered in ritual knife scars. Cuts himself whilst casting. Prone to being sarcastic.
Tobias Lindflags	Hobbit	Thief level 2	A sixth-born son standing to gain nothing from inheritance, so he set out to make his own fortune in the world.
Somniel	Elf	Fighter level 1 / Magic-User level 1	An elf of ambivalent age suffering from mild amnesia.

Meadowlark 1st, Airday

Tobias milled about the wizard's chamber. He had just found a Ring of Invisibility. Emboldened, he reached for one of the scroll cases resting lazily on the shelf along the north wall. He carefully opened one, took out the scroll, and unfurled it. Tikatu and Kho Rimbo approached the hobbit.

Scroll looked like a scribbled map of some sort of complex. The lines were quite straight, and all chambers were rectangular. No angled corridors! Tobias felt his insides churn as he was sucked into the map. Tikatu and Kho Rimbo did not fare any better.

⁂

The trio found themselves in the presence of awesome tree of fire. Despite being confined in a chamber some twenty by twenty feet, they felt no great heat. Each had a vision in their head, showing them walk through the fire and being spat out back in the wizard's quarters.

An unfamiliar elf sat in the corner of the chamber. He was in deep slumber. Tobias woke him up. Elf introduced himself as Somniel, had no idea where he was or why, and immediately accepted the offer to join this adventuring trio in discovering more about this fascinating locale.

Following the only exit out of this chamber led to doors wreathed in fire. Like with the tree, these flames did not hurt the adventures. They pushed the doors open, finding a rectangular chamber some twenty by forty feet.

A giant, human-sized, gold scorpion, rested on a pile of golden coins. Observing it confirmed it was not a statue, but living arachnid. There were two doors leading out of the scorpion chamber—one to the north and one to the west. Both were behind the oversized gilded arachnid. Tikatu figured out that tossing a gold coin to the scorpion made it chitter a happy tune. So each one threw a coin and moved north. Tobias became intimate with his ring, refusing to take it off.

North doors led them down a corridor twisting east, until they reached another doors. Adventurers returned to the scorpion chamber, and went through the west doors, which led them to a four way junction. While discussing where to go next they were assaulted by three raging men.

Men were naked, with crazy, spittle-caked beards, and mad darting eyes. Their manhood swung wilder than their battle-axes. Tikatu was knocked unconscious by a might whack to the side of his head. Somniel was put to sleep through beheading. Kho Rimbo and Tobias sprinted back into the scorpion room, slamming the door shut behind them.

They fled through the flaming doors, and observed from there. There was loud banging on the doors, but that soon stopped. Once they summed up enough courage, the duo returned. They carefully opened the doors. Headless Somniel was prostrated in the corridor. Tikatu was dismembered, blood and gore all over. Invisible Tobias snuck up to the corpses, intended on picking up “the good stuff.” Sound of naked feet slapping the cold stone sent him packing.

The duo decided to go back north. Listening at the doors at the end of twisting corridor revealed deep croaking. Tobias prepared his web nuts, while Kho Rimbo opened the doors. Hobbit aimed at the two dog-sized fiery red toads, slipped, and threw the web nut right next to him. Vial hit the door frame, smashed open, releasing its sticky content. Thick, stringy webs engulfed both Tobias and Kho Rimbo.

Without anyone to get them out—and both being too weak to break the webs—they suffocated to death.

⁂

There a giant golden scorpion rested on a pile of gold coins. Tobias counted the coins—the pile included their “tribute” as well. Adventurers pondered what this might mean. Then they decided to take it out on giant toads.

They broke through the doors, took the toads by surprise, and assaulted them head on. Somniel struck one of the toads, injuring it. Tobias backstabbed the wounded toad, in a very dramatic manner. He snuck up on it, whilst invisible, and then jumped up, delivering a downwards blow, driving his shortsword deep into the creature's flesh. It dropped dead.

Second toad bit off a sizable chunk of Tikatu, which isn't to say much due to his diminutive size. Somniel, now fully awake, pommeled the toad on top of its head mercilessly, turning it into nothing but mush.

Meme by MLord.

The chamber was bathed in orange-red colour, seemingly emanating from the flagstones. Party listened at the north doors. After hearing nothing they followed the south corridor, which led them to another doors. They could hear several voices speaking behind it.

Once more they broke through, intent to dish out some violence. This was a sizable chamber, some forty by fifty feet. Three men squatted on the floor, sitting in a semi-circle around improvised camp-fire. Bows were next to them.

Kho Rimbo materialised a magical dagger. Then he sent it flying straight through the head of the man who reached for the bow. Surviving duo shot but missed. This was punished by Somniel who charged forth and busted the head of one. Last one was backstabbed to death by the invisible thief.

Men had a total of one thousand five hundred and thirty copper pieces, as well as six hundred thirty-six silver pieces. Adventurers left them here for now.

Archway to the north led down a long corridor. Doors to the south led to another long corridor. Quartet opted to go south. This led them to an empty chamber and another long corridor, heading west, ultimately taking them to a T-shaped junction. They could see doors to the west, doors on the east side of the north corridor, and a chamber even further north.

North they went. Doors lead them to a dead end. Chamber has open-top glass urns with giant centipedes inside them. They went back to the T-shaped junction and listened at the west doors. They heard a sound of flesh smacking flesh.

Forcing the doors open revealed a chamber some twenty by thirty feet. Two men dressed in soiled plate armour stood in the center. Both had red cheeks. One finished slapping the other just as the party had broken in. They both turned their had to the adventurers and grinned.

Adventurers decided to wait a moment to see what this two fine gentlemen will do. They did the following: grinned widely, took out their broadswords, and hacked Somniel to death. Tikatu was next. Once again, Kho Rimbo and Tobias sprinted for their life.

They ran down the long corridor eastwards, the north through the empty chamber, and then back into the chamber where they killed three men, then west and north into the orange-red stoned chamber, then west, then south past the scorpion, past the flaming doors, all the way to the tree of fire.

They waited and waited, but neither Somniel, nor Tikatu reappeared in the chamber.

“Perhaps we all need to die?”

“Maybe it is time to cut our losses, get the coins, and get out?”

Maybe, but that wasn't what the surviving duo did. They backtracked to the chamber where they left two thousand coins. And then they explored the long corridor to the north. Kho Rimbo held a torch, while Tobias sneaked behind him, invisible.

Tobias witnessed three arrows piercing Kho Rimbo—one through the eye, one through the shoulder, and one into the chest. The magic-user fell down to the ground with a loud thud. His torch extinguished.

Tobias held his breath, hugged the wall, and calmed his heart. Two figures became visible at the end of the corridor as they lit up a torch of their own. Tobias walked softly to the south end of the corridor. Then he nocked his bow, and aimed. This time he struck true—twice!

Two figures fell to the ground. Their torch did not go out. The hobbit investigated the room of two assailants, finding several jars full of gold coins. He took them all out—four hundred seventy-six to be precise—and filled a large sack. The he hauled it back south, added copper and silver pieces, and then got lost, made a few circles and wrong turns, but eventually found his way back to the scorpion chamber.

There the giant golden scorpion gazed at him, expectantly. Tobias took out a handful of golden pieces and added them to the arachnid's pile. The beast chittered and clacked a happy tune. Tobias went through the flaming doors, took a deep breath, and stepped into the tree of fire.

He found himself back in the wizard's chamber. A sack of coins weighted his hand. The scroll in his hands turned into ash. Tikatu and Kho Rimbo stood behind him. A familiar elf slept on the ground besides him.

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